Tayla Story - 011

I take the bus to Alexander's place.

Some of the other passengers take note of my school uniform, but no one questions that I'm headed in the wrong direction.

Is it because I have a look of determination on my face?

No. It's probably that they just don't care.

I doubt I'm making a very determined face. I still haven't entirely come to terms with what I have to do. The thought of Alexander leaving with Kayla and returning to Wellington… it seems unbearable.

I'd started to think that maybe he'd never come back from the moon, but now that he has, well… I don't want him to ever leave my side again. But, then again, Elis is right. Can I really say that I love Alexander, if I don't trust him to choose me?

So, while I can't say I'm determined, perhaps I look desperate. Desperate to see Alexander, and make things right.

So that I don't make him into a victim.

So that I can look Elis in the eye.

So that… I can apologise to Kayla.

Yes, I do need to apologise to her before she leaves. I treated her pretty poorly, and she didn't even do anything bad. Yes, she did impose on us a bit, but that's not why I was treating her poorly. I took out my anger for everything on her.

That Alexander wasn't here. That Alexander never told me about her. All of that. Things that if I should be angry at anyone about, I should be angry at Alexander. He's the one who left me alone. He's the one who never told me about Kayla.

Whatever stunts he's done in the past; I've always forgiven him for. When he told my parents about what happened when we first met; when him and AJ tracked Ray Starcrawler down; when he let Caro stay at his place when she ran away from home.

All of those times I let him away with it.

But I can't this time. It was too much, having him be so far away for so long. It's been a month! Maybe that wasn't in his control, and he had no choice but to be away for that long. I'll have to hear his side of the story.

But…

But, everything to do with Kayla, is even worse. There can't be any excuse for that. The two of them knew each other from before he even came to Christchurch. At any time in the past eight months, he could've told me about her. This girl, that he was in love with, probably even still in love with when he first met me. This girl, who was likely part of the reason he left Wellington. This girl, who just happens to look a lot like me.

It's horrible.

It's disgusting.

For this one thing, there's no way that I can forgive him.

So, even though I came to his house to explain the situation with Kayla, and make sure I don't victimise him, I can't help but be a little angry. I walk to the front door and reach for the key. While he's been away, Alexander's been keeping the key-

…

It isn't there.

Of course, it isn't. It's the only key to this place, and he just got home. He must've used it to unlock the door so there's no way I can get inside…

…

…

It's there.

Sitting in the keyhole.

…

…

Idiot.

I get he must be tired, but you can't be that stupid, can you? Is it not just an automatic process? When you unlock a door, you pull out the key and take it with you before you close it behind you, right?

…

So stupid.

He always did forget to lock the door, didn't he?

I try the handle.

Yep. As might be expected, it's unlocked. Not that it would matter, given the key's already in the keyhole.

I take it out and step inside. I lock the door behind me, take off my shoes, and then go put it down on the kitchen counter. Looking around the kitchen and lounge, there's no one here. Of course not. Alexander would've gone straight to bed.

I tiptoe down the hallway to his bedroom. At least he remembered to close that door. As I slowly swing it open, it creaks. It's dark inside; all the curtains are closed.

I'm worried that Alexander will wake up, he's usually quite a light sleeper, but the lump on the bed shows no signs of being disturbed. I breath a sigh of relief, and step in, leaving the door slightly ajar as I do so.

I walk over to the side of the bed. Even with all the curtains closed, it doesn't take me long to get used to the light. It isn't like it's pitch black; Alexander's curtains are pretty threadbare.

I can barely see his face under the mop of blonde hair, but I can tell just from the line of his jaw, and the slight protrusion of his chin… it really is him.

Alexander's really back. He's come back to me.

Just seeing him brings me joy. I want to hug him and kiss him. I want him to hold me. But, well… I'd feel bad. Knowing just how tired he must be, I'm not going to wake him up just to have him indulge me. I've waited a month; I can wait just a few more hours.

I couldn't tell you exactly why, but I pulled the sheets down and climbed in next to Alexander. His bed isn't exactly large, in fact his feet are sticking out the bottom, so I barely fit on the side. I have to snuggle in close just to make sure I don't fall off the side. Even so, he doesn't wake up. He must really be exhausted.

His hair flutters slightly as he breathes softly. And his shoulders move up and down, his chest in and out. He isn't as scrawny as he used to be. It looks like he's been eating better than usual. I guess his father probably paid for his expenses while he stayed up there.

I had forgotten this smell. His smell. Alexander always smells a little earthy and sweaty, which must have something to do with how hard he always works. His scent always used to fill this house, but now I realise that I haven't been able to smell it for a while now. Maybe I used to many cleaning products. I probably subconsciously wanted to make sure I forgot this scent if he never came back.

Now that he's here though, I hope I never have to do that again.