Family Story - 006

"When you really come down to it, I'm just… a fake."

Devon looked over at me, with concern in his eyes.

"Whether your fake or the real deal, that doesn't concern me in the slightest. And Tayla's a smart girl, smarter than me anyway. I'm sure she's already worked all that out, and it doesn't seem to bother her at all, so it's nothing to get all worked up about."

"I guess so…"

"Anyway, I just wanted to say, well… you seem like a great guy, and I'm sure you'll never do anything to hurt Tayla."

"Of course not."

"Then you have my approval for the wedding."

"Huh?"

"Just kidding."

I almost had a heart attack there.

"I wanted to ask you, just a little, about your family. Not anything specific, Tayla said you don't like talking about it, and I know it isn't my business, but I just wanted to ask you a few things. Is that fine?"

"That… sure, I guess that's fine."

"Do you ever plan to go back to Wellington?"

I took my time before answering, "I've thought about it a few times. I have friends that I miss there, but I don't think I'd ever go back there permanently. And it might be difficult to go there, for a lot of reasons."

Money. My relatives. I guess mostly just those two reasons, so not really a lot, but the few reasons I do have are huge.

"Oh, that's not what I meant. I was meaning, would you ever want to go back to stay with your family?"

"Of course not," I answered immediately and perhaps a little angrily. I took a deep breath to calm myself down.

"Of course not. It's clear that they have no interest in finding me. Not them, or my father, assuming they weren't too scared to tell him. Seeing you three today, it's clearer than ever, that my relatives were never family to me. We weren't anywhere near as close to each other as you are."

"Well, be that as it may…" Devon trailed off, "I guess it really isn't my place to say any more than that. Sorry."

…

"Also, maybe this seems a little strange, but…" Devon scratched his head, "I wanted to ask you if you wanted to spend Christmas with us."

…

…

Huh?

"Christmas? But that's… for family."

"We don't have any other relatives in New Zealand. Often, we fly to Germany or England to spend Christmas with our relatives, but we aren't doing that this year. So, what do you say?"

"Well that's…"

"By the way, you can't say no. If you do, I'll drag you here by myself."

The thing is, I can actually imagine him doing that.

The two of them really are similar. Him and Tayla. She might've gotten her looks from her mother, but it's her father's personality that she's taken after.

"Well, that's all I had to say so let's head down," Devon said with a smile.

He made his way across the veranda, and opened the door to the stairs. I made to follow him, but paused when I realised that Devon was still standing in the doorway.

"By the way, I'm sure this goes without saying, but if you hurt my daughter, I'll put you six feet under!"

!

How scary!

He really would do it too!

From that point on, I always maintained a respectful fear of Tayla's father.

When me and Devon returned to the living area from the veranda, Krista had placed a tub of ice cream on the table, which the four of us decimated with our spoons in a matter of minutes.

We talked a lot afterwards, laughing and seriously enjoying each other's company. It almost feels stupid now, thinking that it was awkward.

Around about nine, I decided that I should probably head home. I was exhausted. Today was my day off, but I'd ended up walking around, and meeting people so much, that I was almost as tired as I was when I get back home at the end of a full day of work.

I said goodbye to Devon and Krista, remembering to thank Krista for dinner.

Tayla walked me to the door. Standing in the doorway, me and Tayla started talking.

"That was good. I was so worried about making a bad impression, but they seemed to like me from the start. It must be thanks to you."

"Really? I'm glad."

…

"Oh, I talked to mum as well. She said that we don't have anything planned Christmas Eve."

"Hmm? Oh right."

That's right. I'd forgotten that I had asked Tayla about that. I hadn't explained why I wanted her to ask, had I? That was stupid of me.

"Do you want to hang out? On Christmas Eve, I mean."

I guess it was a bit redundant, given that Devon had already asked me to spend Christmas with their family, but I still wanted to hang out with Tayla the day before. I still needed to get a present for her too.

"Yeah, that'd be great. Should we meet at your place?"

"No, meet me at the mall. Then we might bus into town afterwards."

"Okay, let's do that then. Meet at twelve?"

"It's a date."

Walking home from the house where Tayla, Devon, and Krista live, I had a lot on mine.

Before we get to that however, I have to say I was excited. Feeling all fluffy inside, or so they say.

That I'd been invited to spend Christmas with them.

And that me and Tayla would be going on a date the day before, Christmas Eve.

What I became more focused on, however, during my silent walk back to my home, was my conversation with Devon, and the realisation that I'd come to whilst speaking with him.

That I'm a hypocrite.

That I'm a fake.

I'm not a hero. I'm not even a kind or gentle person.

I'm a sham of one. A con man.

If every act of kindness I took, was taken to actively make sure that I wasn't the same person I had been back in Wellington, then was I not still the same person?

Was I not still the same, just hiding under a mask of pretence?

The mask of a hero. The mask of a selfless and just being.

That is all I've amounted to. A fake. I'm not the real deal.

That much… should've been obvious to me.