How well Someone's past life went? (1)

I don't really understand something, which is understanding the meaning of a proper family environment. It's so foreign to me. I feel jealous at the same time it is a state of confusion.

*"What is it? Why do people even share things to each other? How can they be so close? Why I have never felt this certain type of sensation? Why do I feel so empty?" *

These questions arise into my mind when I am at my friend's place, having a get-together with my friends. It's sometimes so awkward, I just start mirroring their actions so that they won't feel so distant to me like I am so other kind.

Fitting in the society norms is so complicated. I don't even understand those norms still why I am even following them. Some people are just so foolish, bovine and dull, they don't even interest me anymore. People are just one of atrocious kind.

"Does that shock me?"

"NO" {SMIRKED, WITH THE COLD-HEARTED EYES}

People usually called me cold, blunt and hard-hearted. Mostly misunderstood by all peers. Actually, it's just a defense mechanism of mine to protect my innocence. People don't even understand what I am trying to say, like what I mean? And with what thoughts I am saying they just don't understand…

*" Are people just so dumb to understand this simple thing which I am trying to say?" *

So, I'll introduce myself to you. This is my story of having my first love, first person who have seen my vulnerable side in my entire life but still wasn't enough to make him stay.

HI! I'm ALIA. I'm a university student. I'm in psychology major in X city E country. Where no one knows me. A new starting period of my life. But it's hard where no one knows me. I have no one to who know this foreign place and help make me familiar with the city. Well, I have always done everything by my self so it won't be problem here too. I have a pretty good adaptability. I just fit in everywhere if I want to. I don't even have a family thing. I didn't ask anyone for help and no one lend their hand to me.

When I was very young, I used to be very innocent and soft hearted, anyone could take advantage of me. And everyone did. {Ferocious eyes, mixed with hatred} At times I am so forgiven. Always trying to make people happy with whatever things I have. There was this one time, when I was in 1st grade, we play a stupid game where a monster is attacking people's family and I used became a villain every single time. So, they always try to make me a monster and then they tease me for that.

"Nothing's wrong in that children are just playing no need to interrupt them. These teasing are harmless, why are you so worried?" Said by the greedy sister of my mom's.

It's so pathetic to see that my mom is wrapped around by my covetous aunt. So much possessive I just want to make them disappear from my life. My family is quite comfortable and that aunt is aiming for it. My mother side is average and my father side is strict, unyielding, wealthy {I guess} main point and rigid. So hard to talk to them and mom's side is...

I won't take an ounce of interest talking to them. They are just interested to take over me, seeing me as a leach an insect which they can squash anytime they want. Like I am controlling my mom to not give them any possession of her to them.

It happened one time, my mom told me. My aunt and uncle playing with me. Uncle was playing by bouncing me in their hand in the air, UP and DOWN. Next what happened was he suddenly loosened him grip and I fell of 1.89 meter straight into the ground. When I listened to this I thought

*" WOW, they really tried to kill me this early" *

After that she told me that my heart stopped for few seconds. She serious run to the hospital and here I am all safe and healthy child telling you, my story. Those people can not be changed easily so I gave up and they weren't able to even touch my hair since then because my dad is extremely overprotective parent. He didn't allow my mom to let her visit her home with me. {Hilarious}

Well, it was quite peaceful after that. After starting my school, I have to study a lot to fulfil my parent's expectations of me, to be the no. 1 in everything. Since my family (my father's side is my main family) was quite well known. Studying almost all day stressful and then the result oriented, uptight grandpa always lecture me the same old thing every time he saw me. He has a habit of repeating things to people multiple times. It's kind of weird habit. But he was a genuine and a good society-oriented person. He taught me many useful habits like punctuality, one of the finest things I have learned from him. But it was tough to have a normal conversation with him. But he raised me well when my parents were busy. He played an important role in my life. He made more kind of listener than a talker. So, I am not very good at expressing my thoughts to others.

Its like warm girl in a cold city but many times my warmness leak out time to time. So, my dad used to teach me to put a poker face all time so that people won't able to read you. Important thing in business. He cares more about his business than me. He always talks to me about business, every single time when we have a conversation. It's frustrating and I can't say anything else just agreeing to everything, the things he talk about was very useful sometimes just to shush away people. Many people befriended me just for their gain. To have wealthy friend is good for them. Including their parents, they were terrific than those children, make me put good words for them to my dad. It would have become a big problem but was sorted before I could react. Dad, he warned everyone to not to talk to me for favors. I was grateful for it and I really am.

Now comes my mom. In school I was a loner. A super AF loner. It's all thanks to my personality and my mind contributing in a great agenda. So, my mom just always trying to have get together at our house and call some weird aunties and their children, told me to try to befriend them for no reason.

*"It's so weird to think what the hell is she trying do??? For what?" *

"All I am doing this is for you. I know you are a loner, so I want you to have some friend for your life to became more enjoyable. You can not do everything alone. So, go now make some friends." Said by mom in front of everyone without thinking. But I felt nothing about it at that time.

*" Like come on mom you should be saying all that with some empathy. It so sad to see her speak her mind without a filter. Its rigid and harsh sometimes" *

I was roaming around so that someone will come first and say 'HI' to me first. But no one came, I was waiting in the whole whatever she tried to do. In fact, they all making fun of me what my mom just said. FRUSTRATING. After that incident I just used to shush them and make them pay. I became cold and started to catching up to my father to putting a poker face all the time.

I started to forget what are relation means. I didn't really get along with anyone. I liked reading books, so all the free time I have I just read books and do some exercise. All my school life gone like that and didn't ever caught in the troubles because what I have learned from dad comes handy at the times like this. I got labelled as cunning personality. Now everybody in my school used run away from me and no one dared to talk to me first. So, as said by my mom AF Loner.

*"My frustration was building and continuously being knocked by different situation becoming unbalanced and leaking through emotions I was experiencing for the first time. I couldn't understand these emotions as I was already brain washed about relations and attachment. I didn't ask for help and nobody try to understand me. Something clicked into my mind if don't understand them why not try to study them. That's how I took psychology as my major." *

So, I told my dad that I wanted to became a psychologist. He agreed. What a surprise? It was very unexcepted that he agreed without any explanation. I actually prepare a list and reasons to state to why I want persuade psychology, for each question an answer was ready with me and he didn't even ask me a single question. Why?

"ALIA excellent choice you would help me with the business in later period of your life. I knew you were intelligent but I didn't know you were that thoughtful of me. My ALIA grew so well" My dad said.

*" Utterly shocked by his thought process. In what kind of situation, I am, he thought of a great explanation for me. Wow he really must have like his business more than me. To think like that." *

He happily sends me to any University I chose. To think of an extremely overprotective parent sending me away for studies just because he thinks I'll be helping him in his business after that. Let me finish he chose that I should study Behavioral economy. Of course, I did with what he wanted.

I came to X city E country with no awareness what was waiting for me. A full pack of surprises waiting for me to unwrap them.

MUHHAAA~

Be alert more chapter will be coming up with twist and interesting plots.