o N e

I arrived in a foreign country. Medieval Europe, perhaps? I pull out what i think is my travel map from my pocket, but instead pull some sort of perhaps-cow image out.

"Can you help me read this? I don't necessarily understand Latin or Old English."

What did I say? Did I offend them or something? They gesture to a street. I glance over and see a mob of people running towards me, wielding pots, pitchforks, garden rakes, and are those... potato bombs? I'm so confused. "What manner of sorcery is this? A cow? A thing? A grass? A perhaps?" they cry. But one thing is clear-they're going to skewer me if I don't run fast enough. Without a further glance behind me, I ran.

RUN RUN RUN BEFORE YOU GET s K e W e R e D by angry screaming crowds, I scream-think to myself. But they're faster. Soon, I've been caught and apprehended. "Let me go!" I plead with my oh-so-stubborn guards. "Remove all your sharp objects," they say. "Well my sarcasm is *on point*, is that okay?" I snicker. My guard glares deep into my eyes and says "We can't take what isn't tangible." I glower back. "Time to yeet?" the guards confer with each other. Oh dang, my guards are yeets. They're going to throw me! Oh dang ohdangohdang. Panic mode is fully on.

Sure enough, they do. I fly through the air, relishing the wind on my face, then I go pLoNk facedown in a grassy meadow. Ouch. I brush myself off and look around. Where am I?? Who am I??? What happened to me? I can't even remember my name....This must be where google, yahoo, and bing can't find me! I thought this was just a legend!

Well, I guess legends can be true sometimes.