Farewell

Few months have passed after her first meeting with Phillip. It's now her holiday break, and she's been home almost a week already.

On her wall calendar, it marked January second with a huge x. She got distracted every time she noticed the mark. And then her mother called her out for new year's eve dinner.

"Sweetheart, why are you wearing your brother's cap?"

Isabel knew what her mother was referring to. He did not wash the cap for god knows how long.

"Mother, I don't wash this cap for a reason besides, why are you complaining when you're not the one wearing it?"

She only chuckled at her brother's unreasonable reason.

"Stop influencing your sister, young man."

Pretended to get mad but Isabel knew how much her mother loves her only son.

Didn't matter if it's the cap or himself not being washed.

During the new year, it's always been a tradition in their family to make dumplings.

The moment the dumplings touched her tongue, she realized she might never taste her mother's dishes again, or watch Harry Potter with her dad, or play monopoly with her brother again.

Tears rolled down her face as a natural impulse. Thinking that this was the last new year.

"Honey, are you okay?" Her dad noticed her silent outburst.

She then pretended that the dumpling was hot and smoldering her tongue. She stuck her tongue out and fanned it a little. Her father laughed.

"Babe, looks like the university starves our kitten."

She's relieved when her dad bought her act.

Too bad her brother Tyler spent the rest of his evening with his girlfriend, so they weren't able to play monopoly.

Her Dad watched Harry Potter but didn't finish the first movie and fell asleep.

When everyone has gone to sleep, she went around the house, memorized every nook and cranny of a place she called home.

People would have mistaken her for a pilgrim of a witch's coven, eyes closed, as if praying or chanting a spell. When she's done, she went to her room and sob.

Her whole body was vibrating while she suppressed the sound of her crying.

She leaned into a trench coat hanging on her wall. Her crying galore halted when something dropped on the floor that made a rolling sound.

It's the bottle of perfume she bought for Phillip. Flashes of memories rushed back into her vision.

It happened a few months ago. It should be their anniversary and Isabel was trying to reach out to Phillip on his phone but failed. So just thought of giving him a surprise visit.

She had been to his office several times, but it's after hours. She was about to knock on Phillip's door when one of his assistants stopped her.

"Natalie, right?" The wide-eyed assistant asked.

"I'm sorry, but Phillip is not here" Judging from his appearance, Isabel concluded that he's effeminate.

He wore a purple scarf that has rainbow glitters.

How dare he mistook her for another girl? But she pulled up a calm front.

If she would introduce herself as Phillip's girlfriend, the possibility of getting ignored was eleven out of ten.

"Oh, I'm Isabel." She offered her hand.

"I'm from Wallywall Inc. I had an appointment with Mr. Lim, but apparently, he forgot." She gave him a standard business-like smile.

Phillip's assistant's eyes widened and immediately changed his approach. It was part of their training to be polite to everyone but, clearly, not to Phillip's flings.

He apologized to Isabel and brought her to a comfortable lounge, gave her a cold drink. She talked about the made-up company, basing it on bits and pieces of what Phillip talks to her when they're together.

After the made-up business proposal, she's able to get some information on where Phillip's location was. She followed Phillip and spied on him.

The bastard was in a private pool with the real Natalie, looking more intimate than she had ever been when she's with Philip.

It's still a little bearable when Phillip kissed Natalie, but kissing her while naked was on another level.

She felt her heart was dunk in a boiling water suddenly, that she couldn't breathe. She felt the same pain as an actual wound would be. Hyperventilation caused her to faint.

She woke up in a hospital, too embarrassed to say anything. Who in the world passed out because of a heartbreak? But it's like the Fates made fun of her life.

The doctors announced that there was a malignant neoplasm in her small intestine and should consult a specialist. Isabel thought like she was being pranked.

How can she have cancer when she's only twenty-three?

The light from the neighbor's car outside her window has woken her from the trance of remembering the event of the previous months.

If karma is real, what did she do wrong that she got punished like this? What's worst was that she worked three jobs, so she has enough money for her medical expenses only to find out she's terminal.

When the doctor advised that she can only spend the rest of her time with her family.

Isabel didn't believe him, she got angry and completely put all the situation in one place in her head. And let the months go by.

A dying person has stages. First, denial. She didn't believe she had any disease in her. She preoccupied herself with school and work until the pain was irrepressible.

And then anger. She was so infuriated that she got the condition. What has she done to receive such punishment?

She even blamed her grandmother for introducing Phillip to her, blamed the world for every misfortune she had.

Then she bargained, learned to meditate, pray to some unknown deity to take away the pain, and put her back to her normal life.

She begged in some altar, done some strange novena and ritual.

And when all the things she's done produced no result, she fell into the next stage, which was depression.

She just stopped doing everything and lurked in her room, waited for the day she finally passes. And the last stage, acceptance.

She's been researching lately about the afterlife but realized that no one really went back from the other side to tell everyone about it.

So she accepted the fact that she'll cease to exist.

In her parent's kitchen, she tried to calm herself.

Her whole body was shaking, anxious, and scared like on death row.

"Sasa! Why are you up so early?"

Her mother knew she didn't have to go back to school until next week.

Isabel just stared down at her now cold coffee. It took her a long time to answer her mother.

"I'm going somewhere else with my friends for a holiday vacation, Mom."

For someone that will go vacationing, she didn't look excited at all.

"Okay, why so early?" her mother looked at her unbelievingly.

It's not her habit to wake up earlier than anyone.

This time, she didn't answer.

Isabel hugged her mother tightly for a few minutes.

Laughing at her daughter's temperament, she was thinking about her break-up with that player.

Both mother and daughter were quiet in the car. Her mother said nothing when they passed the bus station. Few more minutes Isabel's eyes watered.

Even if her mother was in awe, she stayed quiet. She holds Isabel's right hand and kissed it. It truly relieved her at the moment.

At the airport, she wept like a bear.

"Hush, baby, Mommy promises you everything is going to be okay." And she calmed a little. The mother's promise has a therapeutic effect on all children biologically or not, Isabel thought.

"Until we meet again, Mom."

Isabel underestimated her mother's intuition. Layla sobbed loudly while Isabel was going onto the plane. But it's just too late for her to come back.