Chapter Seven

Thema barges in, running to my kitchen at full speed. The sound of her heels clattering fills the room.

"YOU KISSED BLADE!" she shouts loud enough that the ground should be shaking. 

"WHEN? HOW? WAIT THERE ARE FLOWERS..." she yells in shock. She is still wearing the clothes from the club. Which consists of a short pink skirt, a pink crop top, and a killer pair of Duo Chrome heels. They're stunning and I don't know how she's running in them. Yet alone she does full-on choreographed numbers in them.

"You fucked him," I laugh, as I take a sip of wine and then grab my bowl of pasta. I take a bite and with a full mouth of pasta begin to talk.

"What gives you that impression?" I ask, trying to keep a straight face so she can't read into it. She places her hands on her waist and gives me the hell no you are not to play games look.

"Flowers equals, got fucked." She reaches for the note. I try to slap her hand away, but I fail. Her eyes scan over it and they go bold.

"Also, you would never send yourself a note. He had to have sent it to you." She glances over the note. In seconds she has a couple of minutes, with neat cursive.

"Not him basing your whole personality over the fact your house is solar-powered." I grabbed the note from her, nearly ripping it. I fold it up nicely and put it in my treasure drawer. Thema calls me a hoarder when it comes to things like this. I have a scrapbook full of notes, cards, your name a piece of paper that someone could give you. I have a place for it.

"Well, at least I am not someone's ex-super squirter." I stick my tongue out at her and she grabs my glass of wine and drinks it down. That was something one of her exes called her. He had a daddy kink so he always would call her daddy's little whatever he could come up with. 

"You don't mention him and I will not mention he who must not be named." We both nod in agreement. That ex should never get talked about. I swear he is a curse. 

"Girl is he as fine in bed as you thought? Spill, I need to hear it all. It's been two years since we have talked about your sex life." I roll my eyes at her and think about flicking her off. The finger feels ready to go up, but I decide not to out of the kindness of my heart.

"We slept together. I rode him like one of those bulls you see at country bars. He let me, it felt powerful. " Her eyes go wide as I speak.

"Damn, the girl he got is bad for you. That man likes to take charge so if he lets you do that. You are special, I had an ex-lover like that," she says and I honestly don't want to know who she is referring to. I am terrified to know. So I look at her and she knows to switch topics. I like not knowing about the men she has hooked up with because seeing them again out in public after learning about their downfalls. Isn't pleasing when you learn all their kinks?

We walk over to my couch and sit, she takes off her shoes to get a little more comfortable. 

"I know tomorrow is Devenish's thirteenth birthday party. We all know how your mom is. Her whole family will be here along with your Dad's," she explains. We normally light lamps, but with people from the western parts of India, candles are blown out. We also think it is inauspicious to hand a knife/weapon or anything sharp to the other person.

So, lighting a lamp reminds the child of the true path to follow, prayers for enlightenment, and the importance of shining like a lamp to others. We follow the lunar month in the south, and the star, and take the opportunity to remember and thank the star which is the guiding light for the person. An elaborate vegetarian banquet is arranged, feeding the poor and relatives, and serving food to the child with a leaf kept perpendicular to the child, with the Sankalpa that this is for Ganapathi. While the child eats, all the elders in the house come and bless the child with Akshatha and flowers. Akshatha means Rice, Immortal, Unscathed, Perfect, Untouched i.e. divinity. Sweet gear is prepared and everyone prays to the light for the health and long life of the child. I just mentioned children, but this is done as long as parents live to bless their children. That is how we have always been. Growing up we didn't eat much meat. You see I eat mostly plant-based but there are some things I will eat no matter what. For the last couple of years for my birthday, we just go out to eat. 

My mom even though she converted to the Catholic Church still celebrates with her family. My dad still helps involve the other side of the family with inappropriate parties and holidays she used to celebrate. She loves her old beliefs but he converted her to God. I am not very religious, so I don't attend services. 

"I miss your mother's cooking," Thema says, sighing. She can't make it because she has to teach the girls more of her choreography.

I honestly haven't had a good home-cooked meal for a long time. I miss it. I can't wait to see my mama, it was just us until they came along. I love Deven so much, only if he spent less time on Call Of Duty and more time on his academics. Mama sent me his grades and he is barely passing which means he is doing something irresponsible.

"Mama misses you but I will be hounding my brother about his grades," I explain as I show her his power school. He is flunking summer school now.

"Damn, I didn't even like school and I did better than him." She says as she shakes her head in disappointment.

"Is your grandma going to be there?" Thema asks, she has been in a nursing home for almost a year recovering from pneumonia and a stroke. I call him every chance I get, she was my best friend growing up.

Our grandma taught us how to play shoots and ladders lots of years back and it has become a staple. We did arts, and crafts, I could sing and dance around her room freely as a kid. She is my safe place.

"We are going to video call her, she can't walk, and because of the restrictions unless we are taking her out of the home we can not move her until she is ready," I explain, Thema rolls her eyes and looks at me.

"That's some bullshit." She says as she rips off her eyelashes, leans back, and lays on my lap.

"Next week, can you do my girl's henna?" She asks. I nod my head, yes and she hugs me excitedly.

I plan on doing my mom's henna when I am at the party. That will be fun. That was one of my first jobs, my mom runs a nice salon. I did bridal henna for it and it was such a fun job. From the ages of fifteen to twenty-two, I was a henna artist at her shop. I graduated from school early, worked there, and went to college. The other things I did I am ashamed of, I have a dark past no one knows about. But we ignore that, I have a party to pick out clothes for. What is in the past should stay there and die?

We go to my room and pick out an outfit for her to steal and for me to wear tomorrow. 

"I need to go home before I pass out. Goodnight. Make sure you wish that little brother of yours a happy birthday from me." She says sternly pointing her finger at me and pouting.

"I will, '' I say, walking her to the door.

I now have a traditional outfit picked out. lehenga choli, this ensemble consists of a long pleated skirt with usually cropped choli and scarf or dupatta. I am going to wear a dupatta. It's glittery and red. That is all at my mom's house so I picked out some regular clothes with Thema.

Thema leaves and I go to bed, a night full of tossing and turning is what I endure.

"Happy birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear Deven happy birthday to you." We all sing in unison and off-key. He blows out the candles our dad put on the cake.

As soon as the candles get blown out, I am in a dark room. I can hear the creaky wood floors when someone steps in front of me.

"You are going to have to face me sooner or later." He sneers at me, I look up at him and tell him firmly.

"No."

"Then you will feel my wrath, you slut." He hits me and I wake up in my bed. My cheek feels as though it has been hit. I go back to sleep because I am too tired. It's just a dream.

I wake up early to get ready for the day. My mom lives an hour away so I have a long drive ahead of me. All my traditional clothes are at my mama's house. I keep them there so I don't ruin them. I kind of hate wearing them because they are uncomfortable, I like avoiding them. They are also nearly impossible to wash. 

I do my makeup, I put on red lipstick and lots of concealers thanks to the constant tossing and turning that happened last night when I attempted to sleep. I then swipe on some mascara, attempting to give my long lashes more volume.

I want to personally thank Blade for the sunflowers, texts don't do it justice for me. He sent a gift so I will send one over whenever I can. I walk over to his house And ring the doorbell. It takes about a minute before someone opens the door. I turn to leave and walk out my door.

"Hey, I am Erika. Are you looking for Blade?" I nod my head ready to go home. He already has another girl over. A very tall blond one, with blue eyes. She is at least a half-foot taller than me and isn't even wearing heels. It's not like we are or ever talked about being exclusive, it was one night. I have to figure out how to get away. I am somewhat dressed up. Maybe I can claim to be a witness for Jehovah....or ask her about her car's extended warranty. I could try and sell something, but I don't have anything on me at the moment.

"Sugar, can I borrow some sugar?" I ask, is that the only thing I can come up with? I just know I look dumb. 

"Sure, give me one second, how much do you need?" she asks.

"Just a few spoonfuls, for my coffee," I say, wanting to get away. "But you know what? I am about to go out. I shouldn't have bothered you. I am so sorry, I hope you have a nice day." I explain to her with a coy smile. Maybe I just ran into his sister, she looks pretty similar to the girl who usually comes around, I think to myself, convincing myself it isn't another woman. She goes to shut the door and says, "No problem, Blade is in the shower, he just got back from the gym." 

My mind wanders to think about him in the shower as I walk away. I trip and almost fall, thankfully I catch myself in time.

I walk inside my house and I make a quick drink in a reusable water bottle to bring with me to the party. I also have a tray of avocado dip and chips that I had delivered here early this morning. I put it in a freezer bag with some ice packs. 

I ran to my car ready to drive home and see my family. Embarrassed by my actions, I try my best to keep them together. But I debate whether I want to drive or not. The best type of car ride is one where I am not driving. When I get to look out the window and allow my mind to paint over the vast expanse of the land around me. Boy, do I love the days when I can make up catchy song lyrics in my head, pretending that I can play an instrument, while the car speeds along the highway at ten miles per hour over the speed limit.

Those are the days, hours, and minutes, that I can devote myself to doing nothing, answering to nobody, and still seeing everything.

While sitting in my car I called an Uber. I do not want to deal with driving all by myself. I need an hour of that to clear my mind. My mama is going to question why I am in an Uber when I have my car.

Honestly, I don't care. I don't feel like driving, I miss looking at the world in the back seat.