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New Life in the World of Magic

Auteur: Clean_Wizard
Livres et littérature
Actuel · 134K Affichage
  • 18 Shc
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Synopsis

Young man was killed in a mugging to find he is transmigrated into the body of a starved orphan child. with surprises never ending, an owl makes itself known holding a letter. “Dear Mr. Sayre, we are pleased to inform you…” (This is a Harry Potter Fanfiction, I do not own anything other than my OC. most if not all images will be AI generated.) as of right now 2 chalter will release every Saturday, thank you enjoy the FF

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Read_and_Chill · Livres et littérature
4.3
805 Chs

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Avirup_Das
Avirup_DasLv4

I like the start. The mc seems to be slightly bookish and soft spoken. But thats a good thing i feel. I jst think that when u started u implied the mc had been a person who came to terms with his solitude after he started reading books. Just my opinion, but maybe try to add some relations and bonds slowly, as that will root him in this reality than thinking about the world as a book, while also adding depth to the story. Also (my opinion again) please dont make the Mc super powerful and be able to do stuff that grown wizards cant do by the time he is halfway into his first year. Doesn't make sense and breaks the immersion totally. Maybe because of his love for books and all he will be rsther erudite and a bit ahead of the curve, like some spells of one year in advance. Not too much. Potions are severely underratted so you can maybe make the mc explore that or other magical fields( that amkes sense). please dont make the mc master alchemy and runes by the time he is first year. As j said before, it doesn't make sense and breaks immersion. And lastly, just my opinion again, based on the vibe the mc gave, he seemed kind hearted. Please dont change that. Too many fics for some reason make Dumbledore into some villan and there is a growing trend of making villan mc, who will do anything, no proper relationships or motives that explain his drive except that they look at the world as if its a game, and do random stuff, sometimes evil. Without proper buildup showing all that, breaks immersion and seems dumb (just my opinion). In any case all the best for your story. Its not easy to create something, and i eidh you success in your endeavors.

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