RAGE

RAGE. It all started with RAGE. It will end with RAGE.

The first memory that I know to have first was not of my mother or father. It was… It was me fighting, rather beating a 5-year-old boy in school. His face had bruises, a tooth broken and he was crying very loudly. The teacher had no choice but to tell my parents to transfer me to another school. My parents being hopeless, couldn't do anything.

As for my parents, there were not so rich but caring. My mother was a loving person, who would make me a delicious lunch box for school. My father was a hard-working person so that I and my mother could live a relaxed life. Until this happened. They never beat me for this incident but they seemed to be sad. I promised them I will never do this again and they were happy to hear this. But things are easier said than done.

After this incident, the emotion RAGE had become my evil friend. Every time something happens that can annoy me even in the slightest I cannot control it and I always tend to break something, even my friends. I sure had many friends but only one friend was loyal to me. Cain, a friend from my high school, was always cheerful and he always made sure that I don't lose my anger. He was quite popular in school, but whenever anyone saw him with me they would always badmouth us.

One day, I couldn't control my anger and ended up hitting a boy. If I remember correctly, he was hospitalized for 3 weeks. Such was my rage, so intense. My friend was shocked by this incident, he tried to approach me but his parents insisted on not being friends with me anymore. He still talked to me like a friend for a week or so. But in the end, he too quit and said his goodbyes to me because I was into fights with more delinquents. It's always this way I can't control my rage. My relationships as well as my happiness were taken away by RAGE…

IN THE PREVIOUS WORLD.

I still remember the day when my rage submerged my consciousness, my soul itself. I never thought my rage would become so overwhelming that it will become something that will change my entire life.

The day was 31st May. The hottest day in the entire year I would say. It was a day after my 16th birthday but the gifts given by my relatives were lying in the living room. My relatives were relatively rich than us so I got many gifts that I would never imagine in my life.

It was not something that precious, my relatives if I say the truth were only talks. They never helped us whenever we were in needful times. Only talks. Anyways, it was 9 in the morning, my dad had left for the office and my mother was still sleeping in the bedroom. She slept late yesterday as she had to wash the dishes. And I couldn't help her cause I am lazy. Sorry, mom !!

...

10 am

I brushed my teeth and then took a bath. As soon as I stepped out of my bathroom, the hot air coming from outside made my body sweaty again. "Ughh! This is heat is too much!", I said to myself but being careful that I don't break something. I had already broken a few vases on the teapoy this month. If I broke anymore, it would be a disaster. I turned on the fan and sat on the couch, thinking about what should I do for the entire day. I didn't have any friends due to my short-temperedness. I closed my eyes a few times and realized an event of my past summer vacation.

I had gone on to trip with Cain and with some other friends. We had gone for a hiking trip on a nearby hill. We had not climbed so far when we decided to take a halt. We chit-chatted for some time when a friend made a joke of me. It was neither insulting nor a bit rude but I don't know why I threw him a punch so hard that he fainted instantly... Maybe it was because of the hotness of the sun, but I did beat him and I understood my mistake I wanted to apologize to him. but it was too late, all my friends had gone. Only Cain was left behind. He stayed with me the entire day and we two enjoyed hiking alone. Then we went to our respective homes at the end of our day.

My eyes suddenly opened my eyes when I saw Cain's face before my eyes. This time, there is no one that I could call my friend. It frustrated me (though it was my fault) and I subconsciously broke the vase. A hissing sound came from the bedroom and I ran for my life and left the house. I used to live in an apartment on Namz street. When I ran and reached the road, I regretted it.

The scorching heat of the sun made my skin boil. It was more like hell because of the sprain that I had in my ankle due to running fast on the staircase of the apartment. But I was glad that I escaped from a disaster. So this pain was like 'lesser hell'.

I had some money with me so I decided to buy ice cream at the convenience store. "Only an ice cream can save me from this heat", I murmured to myself.

...…

10.30 am

I finally reached the store. The entrance of the convenience store was like a gate that connects 'lesser hell' to 'heaven'. What makes a store, heaven? Of course, it's Air Conditioning! The first icy cool wind that blows on your face when you enter the store is like flying in a limitless sky with your wings of freedom. You can go anywhere and anytime at full speed no traffic nothing! This is heaven in the human world - the convenience store (though only in summers).

I roamed in the store for a bit to cool my body as well as my soul. There were not too many people but indeed quite a few people in the store were shopping. I walked around the section where the ice cream was waiting for me. As I opened the refrigerator the cold breeze again refreshed me and I took an ice cream bar.

After that, I went to the cashier to pay for the ice cream. As soon as I went to the toll I saw a beautiful girl who asked me for money. I was shocked for a second as to why a beautiful girl like her asked me for the money then I realized that she was the cashier and was asking for money for the ice cream. I thought for a moment is a convenience store a 'greatest heaven'? Hehehehe. As I gave her money, I remembered that she looked like Sherry a 16-year girl who lived beside our house in the old apartment.

She was a kind and beautiful girl. I recalled that she played with me and helped me in my study a lot. I moved here when I was 8 years old. So, by this time she will be 24 years old. I got removed from my world of thoughts when I heard a voice saying, "Hey please move forward if you have paid!". I became frustrated at first because I got removed from my world of thoughts but I controlled it with all my strength. Oof, I controlled it for the first time. I think this is because of Sherry. I moved out of the store while Sherry's face was still on my mind. I had never thought of Sherry in these past 8 years. And with the sudden recollection of her, I think I miss her too.

...…

10.45 am

I had to eat the ice cream immediately after leaving the store as the sun melted it. Eating the ice cream in the sun's hotness made my body refreshing and revitalizing. I walked around the footpath roaming here and there in my thoughts of Sherry.

I had nothing to do at home rather if I go home now, I would get a beating from my mother for breaking the vase. As I walked, I heard a not-so-appealing sound instead it sounded like someone was fighting. It came from a nearby alley.

Due to curiosity, I went to that alley and took a peek. The alley was dirty, dustbins spilled everywhere and it looked like it was not cleaned for a long time. After observing the alley, I could see 5-6 people bullying one boy. The boy seemed to be weak and was crippled on the ground.

I thought for a moment if I should help him or not. I didn't want to fight because if I fought, I could get a good scolding at home. And as you know, I am always into fights. It is like I am attracted to fighting unknowingly. So I decided to take a leave.

Suddenly, I saw a face. The boy who was getting beaten was Cain. Then again I was in the world of my thoughts. One side of me was told to help him and another side was telling me that he had broken ties with me so why should I help him? He is getting what he deserved. I said to myself, "Shit. Shit. What should I do now?".

I couldn't make any choice. Then he saw me. A little worried at first because he could have never imagined he would see me again. The expression on his face sounded like he needed help. Of course, he needed help! He was being beaten by 6-8 delinquents. A small spark of rage flowed through my eyes. And then within a second, I jumped into the fight to help my old friend.

----------------------

11.00 am

No sooner rage flowed through my arms than I jumped into the fight. I punched a guy who exactly came in my way and he fell to the ground. The other delinquents were surprised when they saw this and two of them came running trying to grab me. I quickly squat down and then kicked them on their butts. It was indeed hilarious so I couldn't help but laugh at them. The annoyed delinquents now came to me altogether. I aggressively kicked one, punched two in their faces, and kicked one in his chest with my knee. They showed no signs of retreat even after the beating so they kept fighting me.

During the fight, I forgot about Cain. I turned my head a little to see whether he is there or not to help me because I was bored, but suddenly I was punched straight in my face. It was a hard, indeed very hard punch that I collapsed on the ground. I moved my head as I tried to raise my body. I saw a big muscled man. The punch had already damaged me so much that my one cheek was swollen and could only see with one eye. As I was coming to my back to my senses, I realized that Cain had already run away… Hehehehehe.

"You should have at least said my goodbye", I said to myself and stood up. I gave a serious look to the man, he grinned at me and said, "Why was a cocky boy like you beating my brother? I am Hayato from Shikazo College. I shall punish with all my might for beating him, my brother.". His ugly face was already making me annoying and now after he spoke this shit I was in my full rage. I started running towards Hayato at the fullest speed possible. He gave a serious stance and aimed for my neck. I quickly dodged him and wanted to exchange a punch but he grabbed my hand and tossed me to the ground.

He then said to me crouching, "A cocky boy who doesn't know anything can't possibly take me on. Quit it you fool. Apologize to my brother and I will let you go unwounded." Raising my head, I saw a beaten boy grinning at me. It seemed like he was Hayato's brother. I got up and was getting ready to attack. Hayato was laughing and said, "You are a fool. Let it be. I will give you a handicap. I will give you ten seconds to attack and won't counterattack you. Come, bastard."

I walked some distance away from him to attack with full speed. Then with 3 2 1 go, I sprinted towards him hoping that I will give some serious damage to him this time. For continuous nine seconds, I exchanged many blows, kicks, and punches but he dodged them all. One second was remaining. My full body was in pain but I wanted to beat the shit out of him. I hated losing in my entire life. The thought of losing to someone like him was the worst. Also, Cain had betrayed me. I couldn't accept it. My mind was now overwhelming with rage. I was not able to control my rage any further. I ran towards Hayato in a very crazy way. Though crazy it was a success. I land a blow on his face. I was smiling, he was annoyed. He immediately grabbed my collar and said, "What did you do to my beautiful face?". I smiled again and said, "Doing some makeup of an ugly rascal!"

His head bursting like a pressure cooker, teeth making cracking noises, as he glared at me. He pushed me and I stumbled near the footpath facing him. Then he ran quickly towards me and punched me with his full power. I was already on the verge fainted so I couldn't dodge it. The punch was so powerful that I suddenly stumbled on the footpath and was in the middle of the road. When I was stumbling, I thought the fight was at last finished but then I saw Hayato's troubled face. I thought he had won the fight so why he was afraid? While thinking, I heard the sound of a horn. I turned my head and saw a truck right beside me. Within a fraction of a second, I got hit by the truck.

The next thing I remember is that I was lying on the road. I got bumped on the chest with such force that my ribs broke and I couldn't feel my legs and left arm. My whole body seemed too heavy to move and it hurt like hell. I raised my right arm and saw that it was red with my blood. The truck driver ran away leaving me on the road. The people saw the accident and tried to help me but it was all in vain. I started to feel cold and my entire body was slowly not responding to me. My eyes felt heavier. Before I closed my eyes I saw a big clock on a nearby building. The time was 11.25.47. "This is my last memory", I said and closed my eyes.

?? ?? ??

My entire body stopped responding and I couldn't feel anything. Utter silence. After a while, I could see my life rewinding before my eyes. Countless events were flowing through my eyes. Though most of them were fights I had with many boys and bullies. I didn't care for that fights but the one that I had today was indeed bullshit. I wanted to rescue an old friend but he betrayed me and ran away. It made me enraged again. Cain was the only friend I had in my school days. I believed he was a good friend to me but he also betrayed me in the end. Is this my fault? Is this my fault that I cannot control my rage? Should I always try to control this rage? Why I am only the one who cannot control it? Why am I always attracted to fights and riots? If I had just ignored Cain's face today, this could have never happened. Is this how I am going to die? In such a foolish way? I can't accept this. More and more questions flowed through my mind. Rage flowed through my mind. Then within a second, it all vanished.

I couldn't see anything. It was pitch dark. I still couldn't feel anything, my hands, my legs, my ears, my chest, my eyes, nothing. Then suddenly a circular symbol appeared before my eyes which led me to a tunnel of strings entangled in each other. I couldn't believe this. Was I going to heaven or hell? I thought it was probably hell as I am always beating someone for the silliest reasons.

The tunnel was endless with countless colorful strings entangled in each other. The tunnel had no end and it was like watching a VR movie. Then the strings became more and more entangled as well as drastic and suddenly I could see a rainbow-colored tunnel. It was like I was watching a kindergarten music video because of so many colors. Then in an instant flash, the full tunnel was white. Now it was not a tunnel anymore. It was like a plane surface.

The color was changing now and then and I couldn't figure out what was going on. I had already spent a lot of time in the tunnel. I wondered where I was. There was nothing beside me. Only me and now this surface. I had thought there should be a guide or gatekeeper to lead me to hell or heaven. But the only thing that appeared before me was that circular symbol. The symbol resembled the ones I had seen on the internet. There were some wordings written on the circumference of the circle but I couldn't read them. It was a foreign language. Maybe it was a sacred language or something. I tried to visualize the circular symbol again and then immediately the color of the surface changed to bright red. I was not aware of what was going on.

Suddenly, I started to feel my body. Though it was a bit whammy at first I had finally felt something after a long time. I can't describe how it feels when you cannot sense your own body. After this, I slowly started to feel my body parts one by one. I tried shaking my hands as well as legs, but it gave me a strange offset feeling. I ignored it as I thought that it was the effect of the tunnel.

At the very end, I could open my eyes. "Finally I can see something", I thought. Slowly, adjusting my eyes as the intensity of the light made my eyes hurt a little. A blurred image appeared before my eyes. The first sight I saw was of an unknown ceiling. "Is this how you appear in hell, it's weird", I pondered. Then suddenly a heard a human voice.

"We should name him Erik", I heard. I tilted my head to see where the voice was coming from. I saw a man and a woman talking about something.

"No it's not cute, what about Ray? ", said a woman who was dressed in just a light gown. The man and woman both seemed to be happy. I wondered what they were doing. The man had long brown hair and a beard with green eyes that resembled an uncut emerald. His body was well built and by his accent and way of talking, he appeared to be dependable as well as hard working.

Then the woman, as for her beauty, it was intoxicating. She had long black hair with brown eyes that gives the impression of Mother Earth itself. Indeed a feast for the eyes. Her beauty was radiating when she smiled and talked to him. "They look nice for a couple", I thought. As for their clothing, it was kind of 'old age'. While they were talking, I looked around to wonder where I was. I was in a small room which had a door and a window. From the layout of the ceiling, I could tell it was 16th-century build architecture. The room was lit up with a old oil lamp."Where the heck am I?', I pondered.

With my frustration, I raised my hands and was shocked by the experience. My hands had become so small that they looked like a baby's hands. Quickly, I rolled my eyes and was as astonished to see that my whole body had become small. With the sudden change of my body, "What????", I wanted to shout but I could only cry loudly.

The couple heard the cry and rushed toward me. "He is awake! Look honey!" exclaimed the man. The woman in tears of joy held me with her soft hands. The gentleness of her reminded me of my mother when she consoled me whenever I got hurt.

"His eyes are like you", said the man. "Brown eyes, hmm nice but why am I here and like this?", I thought. "My child, your name is Ray right?", murmured the woman. I kinda liked it so I shake my head.

"Hey, it's not fair. Why are you asking him? He is just born.", said the man. "Come on, Ray is fine and best for him. He will be the ray of hope for our family and the villagers!", said the woman. "Okay", said the man with a sad tone.

"Ohh, why the small face he is OUR child", the woman said. "Yes, I know. I promise I will do my best to raise him into a fine man", the man spoke with full determination. "We", said the woman, and the man hugged her while she was holding me.

This was an out-of-the-world thing. Was I reincarnated? How? The questions were millions but the moment in the present I was now living was indeed bewitching. The gentleness of the woman and the behavior of the man resembled my parents. But, in that era I am dead. I will never see my parents in that world again but in this world, where I am reborn I want to live my life to the fullest. This time I will devote myself to helping my new mom and dad. I don't want to die again because for some foolish reason. I intend to control my rage and take my new step into a world of joy and infinite possibilities. If I had been given this chance, why not use it?