Realisation

I could hear my heart beating. It was a dead quiet silence that made it sound like the roar of a starving lion.

Two cold, lifeless bodies lay in front of me. One belonging to my wife, Natalie, the other to my 9 year old daughter, Abby.

It was cold. I wanted to breathe, but I couldn't. My tears had already dried up. I was numb, really numb. Slowly, sirens were approaching, being louder than ever banging on my eardrums, but I couldn't care less.

All I saw, was the horror in my wife's face and the confused look of my daughter. I couldn't bear to see their stabbed and wounded bodies. I could slowly feel myself descending further into madness. Why did they have to die? Who killed them? Why couldn't it be me instead?

And slowly... very slowly... I could feel something growing within me. Whispering sweet nothings about how I would be so much happier if I went and killed myself so I could meet them again...

'Do it... #$%&@.. do it... don't you want to see your sweet daughter welcoming you from work and your wife cooking a nice lunch... do it... $#$$#%... DO IT!'

And at one point, without even realizing I had grabbed my pocket knife which I carried for self defense. I could feel its cold blade against my neck.

I took one last glance at my family. I couldn't do it, I couldn't imagine how sad and angry they would be if they ever saw me considering this. I slowly put away the knife, dropping in despair...

***2 HOURS EARLIER***

"Hey, ######, you leaving work? Want to go grab some drinks with the rest of the department? It'll be fun." said my co-worker, as I was leaving the office

"Oh hey, Jacob, No thanks, today's my daughter's birthday, I'm going to buy her a cake and a nice present!" I replied, walking out of the office.

"I totally forgot. Tell her Uncle Jacob said 'Happy Birthday you little mongrel'!" Jacob said as he went off with the other guys.

Today was my daughter's brithday, Abby's. She was really excited to reach 9 years old and finally get a present. My family is pretty well off, so I'm going to buy her something special and expensive. It wouldn't hurt much seeing my daughter's beaming smile, everytime I saw it, my body and mind felt refreshed, as if I just had the best rest in my life.

My wife and daughter are the only thing that makes my life much better other than the monotonous trip to the office, working for long hours and then coming home. Repeating it everyday.

However I was raised in a very good family that was really well off so money is not a problem, which makes it slightly better as I'm able to afford gifts for my daughter every now and then.

I took the bus to a shop fairly far away which took me some time, but I'd make it back in time so I didn't worry.

As I entered the shop I noticed tens of toys and different game consoles. I picked out a few that looked good and interesting enough and decided to choose one between the four of them.

Eventually, I picked out the best one, which unsurprisingly was also the most expensive. I was a fool for my daughter, and I turned weak for her innocent smile, so I just had to. It was her first time ever getting an expensive gift so I decided I would spoil and pamper her for the entire day.

After paying for the item I quickly exited and waited for a taxi or a bus, seeing as how I spent 30 minutes choosing a single gift. Soon a taxi came and I entered, telling the driver where to go.

On my way I also picked up the cake I pre-ordered 3 days ago, as well as a few candies and chocolate bars. She'd definitely enjoy these.

After about 25 minutes I arrived home, walking towards my door.

Strangely... the door was open.

"Honey? Are you home?"

Silence.

"Honey! Abby!"

Silence.

I quickly took out my pocket knife and sprinted upstairs to my daughter's room bashing the door open.

And then, I saw. That horrendous sight, laying on the floor two bodies in a puddle of blood. I screamed. I screamed and screamed until my throat couldn't make any more noise. That was the day my only sun, hope and love in life, disappeared.

***CURRENT TIMELINE***

"Alright sir, I've documented your testimony. You will be taken in for further questioning, you are free to call a lawyer in the meantime. Oh... and also... sorry for your loss."

I couldn't speak. I didn't want to speak. I didn't want to hear her words about my "loss".

They were empty. No-one cared about you in this world except for your family. It only pained me more to hear them.

Was it my fault? What if... what I arrived earlier, would they still be safe? If only... IF ONLY I DIDN'T FUCKING TAKE MY OH SO PRECIOUS TIME THEY'D STILL BE ALIVE!

But I knew I was only lying to myself. The autopsy had already been done. They had been dead for over 4 hours, earlier than I finished work.

*Ring* *Ring*

My phone had been ringing for a while. Multiple people were calling me. Friends, Co-workers, Boss, Parents. But I couldn't give a shit about them now.