Sakura Gets Mad

"Well, go on, then," Sakura said, her displeasure evident from her tone. "Dispose away."

The masked shinobi, who was standing on a tree branch above her head, peered down at her.

"I will also have to ask you to return the Kubikiribōchō," he said dispassionately.

"You've gotta be kidding me!" Sakura yelled indignantly. "That's sword's my spoils of war! You can't just—"

Kakashi put a hand on her shoulder and shook his head.

"The Seven Swords are extremely important to the Hidden Mist," he explained. "The Executioner's Blade is valuable, but it's not worth causing an international incident over, nor is it worth the blood that would end up getting spilled as a result."

Sakura clenched her fists at the injustice of the thing; if they'd been at war with the Hidden Mist proper, then nobody would have cared if she had snatched the sword! And how exactly was she supposed to explain that Haku was not a real hunter-nin, but Zabuza's follower? She had to find a way to blow Haku's cover, by making him do something out of character…

The masked shinobi pretending to be a hunter-nin flickered down and held out his hand, so Sakura reluctantly handed over the sealing scroll containing the Kubikiribōchō.

"What's going on here!?" Naruto shouted as he came running. "Who even is this masked kid!?"

Since Zabuza had 'died,' his Water Clone had dissipated by itself, freeing Naruto from the responsibility of keeping it occupied.

"He stole my kill," Sakura said maliciously. "And he was just about to dispose of Zabuza's body. Weren't you, hunter-nin-san?"

Sakura was actually slightly relieved that she didn't have to end Zabuza's life herself. She liked to think that she would still be able to uphold the values that she had been brought up with on Earth, but notions such as the value of human life lost all meaning in the cruel world of shinobi. Expecting pity of others was simply naïve, and yet…

Naruto somehow managed to spare everyone he came across and still get away with it!

Haku pocketed the sealing scroll and propped up Zabuza's 'corpse' on his shoulder. He'd been about to leave, but suddenly, Kakashi spoke up:

"Forgive me if I'm mistaken, but… aren't hunter-nin supposed to destroy the bodies of those they kill on the spot? Would you mind if I checked if this man is still alive…?"

'Hell yeah!' Inner Sakura roared, punching the air victoriously. 'It took our stupid sensei some time to catch on, but he finally got it!'

"Not at all," the masked hunter-nin said mildly. "Please check for yourself."

Kakashi approached the masked shinobi and put his fingers to Zabuza's neck to check for a pulse. He frowned. No heartbeat; Zabuza was indeed dead.

"You are correct in stating that it is standard procedure to carry out the practice of corpse destruction on the spot," the masked shinobi continued, "but when Zabuza defected, he not only stole the Kubikiribōchō, he also stole its summoning contract, so it would be unwise for me to destroy important clues and documents that might lead to its retrieval."

The Seven Swords of the Mist were each bound to a special summoning contract. Retrieving the Kubikiribōchō itself was completely meaningless as long as the scroll containing the summoning contract wasn't also retrieved! After all, as long as one held one of the contracts, one could summon the corresponding sword… as long as it hadn't been sealed, that is.

Which is why Haku had asked for Sakura to return the scroll holding the sealed Kubikiribōchō in the first place!

Kakashi nodded; no matter how he thought about it, the hunter-nin's explanation made sense. He wasn't about to start rooting through Zabuza's pockets for secrets in front of shinobi from the Hidden Leaf, after all.

"Well then," said the hunter-nin with a curt bow, "if there's nothing else, I'll take my leave."

'Nooo!' Inner Sakura screamed. 'My precious sword!'

The hunter-nin performed the seals for the Body Flicker with one hand, and just like that, he vanished, leaving only a small whirlwind of leaves behind him.

"Will someone please tell me what's going on, ya know!?" Naruto yelled.

"Is everything over?" Tazuna asked, his head popping out from a nearby bush. "Did we win?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sakura was in a bad mood; the next time they would be facing Zabuza, he would be acting in concert with Haku, a powerful Kekkei Genkai shinobi. And since Kakashi had been satisfied by Haku's explanation, he wouldn't be on his guard for Zabuza's miraculous revival! If there was a silver lining to all of this, it was that Kakashi hadn't tired himself out too much by overusing his Sharingan and copying Zabuza's large-scale Water Jutsu, so at least he wasn't bedridden in this timeline.

And so, after their first life-threatening battle, Team Kakashi followed the old man Tazuna back to his house to recuperate and regroup, and to plan their next move.

"Uchiha Mikoto!?" Sakura blurted out upon seeing Tazuna's daughter, who had come to greet them at the door.

"No, my name is Tsunami," said the woman, cocking her head slightly in incomprehension.

'What an unfortunate name for someone living on an island…' Inner Sakura sighed, shaking her head.

Upon hearing Sakura call out his mother's name, Sasuke froze, wide-eyed; and upon seeing that Tsunami was not his mother, he stalked away in a huff, mentally cursing Sakura for giving him false hope.

"Moving things right along," Kakashi began, giving Sakura a strange look, "I was thinking I'd accelerate your training schedule. Gatō's bound to have more powerful ninja in his pocket, so you all need to level up, so to speak."

"Doesn't matter how much you level up," came a young boy's voice. "Life's not a game, and you're all gunna die."

A little kid wearing dungarees and a striped hat too big for his own head had just come out of his room and joined them in the living room. Sakura looked at him in annoyance; the kid's backstory was incredibly boring, and his only purpose was to motivate Naruto.

Sakura prayed to all of the gods she could think of that Kakashi wouldn't make her watch over him. Even guarding Tazuna would be preferable to babysitting the cry-baby Inari!

"Like hell we're gonna die, ya know!" Naruto snapped at him.

Naruto was always ready to get into immature arguments with random people for no discernible reason; no matter the occasion, no matter what the argument was about, and no matter who he was arguing with!

"Inari, there you are!" Tazuna called out warmly to his grandson. "You should greet our guests from afar properly, they're the shinobi who brought your beloved grandpa home safe and sound!"

The kid stared at all four of the shinobi with dead fish eyes; he was almost on Kakashi's level in this respect, which was actually kind of commendable for a kid his age.

"Why should I waste my time getting to know these idiots?" he said morosely. "They're all gunna die anyway."

A vein popped on Sakura's immense forehead.

That little twerp was trying to jinx them; if he ever became a follower of Jashin, she was certain that he would make for a great Jujutsu practitioner, just like Hidan!