Changing Heart

"How many times do I have to tell you?! I don't like you Naruto!"

Her once soothing voice I carved to hear pierced my heart, my chest tightened, and my blood streamed ferociously. I felt my throat turn dry, and my face heated from the embarrassment as the students in my class laughed, pointing at me.

However, her words then hit me again. I was rejected, yet again. Hearing it for the hundredth time, I felt dejected, I felt disoriented... I felt utterly defeated.

I raised my head to see my childhood crush, Haruno Sakura, sit beside an aloof kid. Suddenly, my heart flared, I could feel the hatred rise, I was angry beyond reason. Sasuke! I yelled in my mind, he was the reason Sakura always rejected me, he was the problem!

Atleast, I tried to justify the cruel reality by feeding myself these lies. However, deep down, I knew he was not really the reason. I was, my personality and perspective were... It was my weakness that made me the last choice. I felt angry again, but this time to myself. Damned fool! Chasing after a girl already in love instead of improving myself!

I felt like something snapped inside me, an indistinguishable hatred blazing inside my heart, aimed at no one but myself. I glanced at Sakura one last time. Fuck you! I cursed before marching out of the classroom with a dash.

I ran through the bustling hall, before I was noticed, I was already in the streets, sprinting between the civilians of Konoha.

"Damned Demon!"

Someone shouted as I accidentally made his grocery fall. Fuck Sakura! Fuck you all!! I screamed internally as I heard the word Demon again. Adrenaline rushed through my veins as I lost myself in the pleasure of running at top speed. Not long after, I was resting my arms on my knees, catching my breath.

Glancing ahead, a wooden door stood before me. It was the door to my apartment. Sighing, I took out the keys to the lock and opened the door. A rigid creak followed as the wooden door was pushed, I entered and closed the door.

Leaning against the fragile wooden wall, I slid down. As the adrenaline slowly faded away, I could feel my legs cramp from the long sprint. Then it all crashed down, I dumped my head inside my arms and sobbed, tears ran down my cheek as I felt the loneliness cloud me.

Damned fool! Damned fool! Damned fool!!

The images and words of the previous event flashed in my mind. Frustrated, I punched the wall behind me, I punched it again, and again, and again. Until I felt exhausted and sapped off every bit of strength physically and mentally.

I grit my teeth, hard enough to feel the familiar taste of iron. I'll show you Sakura, Sasuke, Ino... I'll show all of you how weak and fragile you guys really are when you confront true strength! Let's see who'll be the one laughing then!

Unconsciously, a grin morphed into my face. I suppressed the urge to laugh... No... This is not me.

'Who cares if it is not you'

I frowned... Yeah, who cares if it's not me? It's not like anybody likes the way I am, or acknowledges my existence. Even if I change for the worst, it's for the best. No... I need to change, I won't get my revenge if I do not change!

Not bothering to question the unknown voice, I stood up and went toward the bathroom. In the corner of the room was a small mirror, I went toward it and gazed at my reflection. I wiped the tears off my face, peering back with red eyes stood my reflection.

"I've been weak for too long... Not anymore"

Resolute, I focused on my 12-year-old body. I lifted my hands and closed them together. Forming the Ram sign, I focused and tried to mold Chakra. I could feel the conflict in my Chakra pool as I tried to perform the clone Jutsu, it fluctuated from time to time, as if trying to prevent me from accomplishing my task.

However, I focused harder. Letting myself immerse in my own world, I tried to keep the Chakra rotation stable. Regardless of my efforts, it only stabilized a bit. A small smile crept up my face. Yes! Progress!

I felt a dam of hope crash on me. I-I was making progress! All these years, countless failures, countless tries... and finally after only putting my heart into the task did I make a difference. It was then the fact struck me.

I was lazy, I showed no interest in growing powerful, I wasted my time doing pranks and jokes just for attention. Fool. I was one. However, I had to put all that behind me, I had to move on.

But one thing was certain, I am never going to be the old Naruto... Not ever.

I could do clone jutsu, but with an unstable Chakra rotation, hence forming a defective clone. However, according to Iruka—my teacher—a stable rotation was required to form a perfect clone. Remembering the hazy memories of his classes I rarely paid attention to, I tried to stabilize my Chakra rotation. That... Didn't go well, It seemed I was missing many pointers to achieve my task.

Aha!

An idea struck. The library!