Vision 17 - What do you want? (2)

Living abandoned, neglected, feels much worse than rejection. It is like being accepted, but feeling invisible, and forgotten.

I would say that being used could be felt better than forgotten, because when used, one's existence had a purpose for someone, but forgotten, that would feel like one doesn't even have anything that could be used.

One such soul, who knows exactly how it felt, looked at me deep with her blue eyes. 

Gale: "How- Wha-"

She mumbled, unable to form any coherent thoughts or sentences. My question made her, stumped. Not so much so the question though, but how I addressed her.

Arthur: "Oh, Yes, that was being too familiar. So, Galinthias?"

My brows raised, as I noticed the loss in her eyes regaining their life, her crystal eyes looked at me, this time, really looked at me. 

I felt her taking my every appearance to the detail, my hair, eyes, my slight turn-up nose, my cheeks, jaw, every feature was being observed.

Arthur: "Pick me."

My lips curled slightly as I moved, not leaving her gaze, that has finally regained some life. Looking into them I took two steps. 

Her head moved and she turned towards the window, and my back towards the same. Then I turned on my heel, taking light steps towards the window, as I spoke, breaking our eye contact.

Arthur: "Keep that phrase in my mind, as I tell a narrative."

I could feel her gaze on my back, confused and conflicted, but ignoring that I strolled.

Arthur: "A woman, simple, and normal. One that anyone could find anywhere in the kingdom, but with a striking feature for her beauty, her red-gold hair."

Reaching the bed, under the chandelier, I danced my finger at its wood border, which was holding the bed's pillar, as I walked further.

Arthur: "She was given the opportunity to be the handmaiden of the Queen of the Kingdom. A servant may she had to be, but she took the role to tend to the Queen."

Brushing at the edge-end, near the bed pillar, I marched looking at my finger. I was surprised to notice some slight glitter instead of any dust on them.

Arthur: "One day, the Queen of the Kingdom was deceived by the god for three non-existing nights, and she conceived a baby."

Reaching the window, I turned on my heels again and sat down on the couch where Galinthias was sitting before, my leg went one above another.

I put my elbow on the top leg, and my chin over my hand, as I looked at the dumbfounded woman in front of me. Her strength, on the cloth sheet draping over her, went loose, and again her stomach-till her belly-was exposed, but ignoring that, I peered in her eyes as I went on.

Arthur: "In labor, mother asked for assistance and the almighty goddess sent her the goddess of childbirth. But instead of helping, the goddess of childbirth crossed the mother's legs to prevent the birth, it turns out the almighty goddess was furious."

The hidden script has not narrated any script, since the existence of Ducas, and Persephone has made the alteration so high the script doesn't exist anymore. The balance has not dwindled because Galinthias has used all of the alterations to generate the miscellaneous script.

Arthur: "The handmaiden noticed this deception and figured out the cruel plot. She told the goddess that the baby had already been born despite her cruel act; this was so startling that the goddess jumped and released her hands. Freed, the mother gave birth."

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[ The Nubecula 'Dionysus' comments "Isn't that the story of the birth of Hercules?" ]

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[ The Nubecula 'Hwang Jini' comments "It is. The birth story of 'God of strength' of Olympus." ]

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'That would be consider spoiler.' I thought, commenting in my head, but Yes, the baby that was born later hailed as Hercules, the Divine protector of mankind, the one who went through labors to prove his worth. 

If his story was narrated, it would be immensely long, even his name could be called a hypocritical story, but my narration has nothing to do with him.

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[ The Nubecula 'Dionysus' is looking at you with mysterious eyes while sipping his wine. ]

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[ The Nubecula 'Raziel' comments "Where is he, anyway?" ]

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I don't care and I don't want his attention. I thought.

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[ The Nubecula 'Dionysus' comments "Who knows? Must be doing some Labor as usual." ]

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Looking ahead I saw a pained expression, devoid of any hint of regret, a small smile formed at my lips at that, and I continued.

Arthur: "Enraged by the fact that a mortal was able to deceive a goddess, she changed the handmaiden into a cat."

No regrets still, only a hint of defeat was palpable in her eyes, as her brows raised in the middle and fell at the end. Keeping the surprise, hidden in my heart at this, I went on.

Arthur: "The Handmaiden, turned into a cat, was forsaken, since she was not able to attend to her duty at that form. Then the Goddess of witchcraft took pity on her."

Since the hidden script was broken, my voice did the part of the narration, just as it did back when I told the story of Zoe at the Silver Lake of Brigains.

Arthur: "The cat became her sacred animal, of the goddess of witchcraft. The goddess has since then been associated with cats. Although rough at the start, she became hailed as sacred, so it is good at the end. What do you think Galinthias?"

My finger moved, my thumb supporting my chin, my index finger straight on my cheek and my remaining three fingers stashed horizontally under my lower lips, as I asked her that.

I kept my gaze on her, questioning, waiting for a reply. Several emotions changed rapidly on her face, curiosity, uncertainty, and even eagerness. She was puzzled, undoubtedly, but soon all turned to defeat again.

Galinthias: "But it is not the end."

Her voice, low, but still was hearable. I moved my fingers off my face, my leg rose, followingly both legs fanned out. I rested my both elbows on them to take the support, and gripped both my hands, fingers mingling with each other, the big fist remained in the air.

Stretching my back straight, I spoke, looking at her defeated eyes.

Arthur: "The goddess was invoked for witchcraft, so she searched for the Goddess who reigns over souls. The handmaiden was accepted but soon forgotten."

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[ Hidden script has been updated due to outside information being introduced. ]

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[ The script has been improvised. ]

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[ Hidden Script: Story of the Forsaken One

 Difficulty: A

 Passing Scenario: Free the forsaken one from her own shackles.

 Reward: ???

 Failure: Remain trapped in the HeKate's palace for eternity. ]

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The message appeared a little side in the middle of the room so that it wasn't blocking my view of Galinthias. 

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[ The Nubecula 'Gumiho' comments "I can't get enough of this.!" ]

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[ The Nubecula 'Gumiho' is drooling. ]

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[ The Nubecula 'Who Like Cigars And Candy' comments "Tch! Always playing hero." ]

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[ The Nubecula 'Whose Heart Bleeds For Heartbroken' comments "You know how he is." ]

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[ The Nubecula 'Who Like Cigars And Candy' is clicking his tongue. ]

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Galinthias: "So, you already knew who I am."

She spoke with an understanding, it was not a question but a statement. She didn't seem to be aware of the message that appeared, and her eyes remained fixed on me.

Arthur: "I know your story, Yes."

I also spoke without showing much reaction. The update was bound to happen, I already knew that, so it wasn't a surprise, what was, is the failure of this script, and the reward that was not registered. But I didn't let it affect me too much, and remained focused on Galinthias.

The goddess of witchcraft, Hekate, as I told Persephone, has been on the search for her. Because Hekate, who is known as the goddess of three attributes, the goddess of boundaries, the goddess of the moon, and the goddess of witchcraft which is the least concrete but most widely known.

Hekate, after being invoked for witchcraft, spent all her time searching. She reached out to other gods, and goddesses, and being associated with them, taking them into the story, numerous stories of goddess of witchcraft spread.

And during her journey in search, the Galinthias was forgotten, yet again, left behind.

Arthur: "You fulfilled your duties, only to be punished. You just existed, letting someone take pity on you, just to be forgotten. And now have trapped so many, against their desire, due to being alone for all this time, just to be viewed as a manipulative monster, and hated."

She lifted up her head, revealing more of her beautiful neck that was hidden underneath her chin. She hugged herself, covering everything apart from her neck and a slight portion of her breasts. The sheet looked like a sloppy imitation of a silk gown. She gazed at the roof, but it felt like she was looking beyond that. 

A sigh, a long exhausted one, came out of her mouth. Numerous thoughts must be going inside her head, that I could not comprehend. Taking a deep breath and quickly releasing it, she spoke.

Galinthias: "Even knowing all that, you said - I brought this all on my own, the loneliness that I have been feeling, being abandoned over and over?"

Her voice was low like she was talking to herself. It wasn't a question, but it felt like one, so I answered, without hesitation.

Arthur: "It is. It is your fault."

I spoke impassively, without pity or blame. A silence overtook for a minute, and her breathing became a little faster. I could notice that by how her chest moved up and down rapidly. 

Arthur: "You were punished for deceiving, your own stupidity."

Galinthias: "Shut up."

She mumbled in her breath, again too low for anyone to hear, but I made out those words.

Arthur: "You were forgotten. It was bound to happen, she took pity on you not responsibility."

Galinthias: "Shut up."

Arthur: "And now you are hated. What else would you expect, trapping them against their will? With finite life, no matter what you give them, if they don't get to make their own choices, they will-"

Galinthias: "I said, Shut Up.!"

Her head moved down in a snap, her eyes at me, which was under a deep frown this time. Was it anger? frustration? I didn't know, but I looked at her deadpan.

I wasn't saying all that just to be insensitive. I said all that because I knew it was all on her mind. If you were at a bad place that seemed inescapable, you would curse the world or fate, maybe destiny for that. But one would also think that maybe it is their own fault.

One would play these scenarios in their mind over and over, try to play those in different forms, trying to imagine choosing different words, and different actions. Then they would blame themselves, thinking maybe IF I did that.

Galinthias: "Shooting your mouth like that. What do you know about me? Just the story? A few words? Sitting infront of me all mysterious and cut off, How dare you talk like you have shared my loneliness?"

Instead of being shaken off, I focused on her eyes, intently. They showed betrayal and hurt. I didn't feel offended by her accusations, just pity. 

Yes, pity, because I was there. I saw her loneliness in my dreams, it was whenever I saw Hercules in my dreams. He didn't forget Galnithias, it was because of her he was born, and not remained dead in his mother's womb. 

'That is the reason I don't want his attention. I am not completely sure, but he would greatly support me if he knew what I was doing here.' I grumbled inside.

And I obviously didn't want the attention of the God of strength from Olympus, because then I would also gain the attention of some major High existences, which is not good.

Oblivious to my thoughts, the hurt in Galinthias only increased, and frustration as well, with the hint of rage.

Galinthias: "Just fulfilling my duties? What a crude way to put it. How could I just let a baby die in his mother's womb?!"

Her voice raised, she was venting at last, it was just impossible for someone to be abandoned again and again, and accept everything as defeat.

Galinthias: "Just existed? I knew it was pity and not the responsibility that was shown to me.! That is why I never bother.! Never burdened her.! Never told her to take responsibility.! And Now when I- for the first time-"

The force with which she hugged her waist tightened, as she tried to squeeze some words out of her, but she couldn't at the end. Her head hung a little, her eyes on the floor, looking at her I felt pity yet again. Some parts of flashbacks when I saw her loneliness in my dreams surfaced in my mind.

Arthur: "I understand."

The word came low and hollow, but in the silence, she heard me. Her head lifted, looking at me, and then-

Whist-

Even the whistle of the wind was not heard completely when in an instant she appeared in front of me, not infront but above me.

I was pushed, my back against the window, I could feel its coldness through my shirt. Galinthias peered over me, her one leg over the couch, and another one on the floor. She grabbed my two-unbuttoned shirt's collars with both of her hands, her face centimeters away from mine.

Free of the hold, the sheet covering her, hung on her shoulder fell till the couch then to the floor, covering some of me as well. She was hidden from sides and back view, but if I just let my eyes fall down or in front of me, her bare flesh in full would be visible to me.

Despite that, I didn't leave her gaze, which was looking at me, with frustration, rage, and a slight hint of hope.

Galinthias: "What do you understand huh? You kept saying that."

Her tone was like she was barely containing her anger and frustration, but my mind was not consumed by it.

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[ The Exclusive Skill 'False awakening' has nulled the effect of skill 'Threat Lvl.5' ]

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Galinthias: "Barking, like some supreme being. If you do understand, why weren't you there when no one helped me?! When I was alone.! Even when I had a roof above my head and plenty to eat, but no one to share it with.! When I had to curl up into some hole under the rain after being forsaken.! After thinking that someone finally accepted me but then I was forgotten for so long... even now... where were you?"

Her voice which started loud at first, gradually died down as she tried to hold those tears, that had slightly moistened her eyes, glowing a little by reflecting the light coming from the window behind me.

Galinthias: "What do you understand?"

Her voice was tightly hoarse, one that would squeeze someone's heart, it pained mine as well a little, but the pain behind the words that I spoke was more painful for me.

Arthur: "I understand being abandoned Galinthias."

Galinthias: "Hu-"

She tried to squeeze out a 'huh?' but choked on her own gagged throat, which was holding the feeling of tears being leaked out.

Arthur: "I also understand being surrounded by people who accept but treat you as invisible."

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[ Some Nubeculas are wondering about your words. ]

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Ignoring the messages I looked at my reflection in Galinthia's crystal eyes, being moistened it shone brighter. I could comprehend pain in my own eyes and a hint of defeated expression on my own face in that reflection.

Arthur: "Abandoned at birth, I never knew my birth parents."

I saw my reflection being shaken, her eyes looking at me shook a little.

Arthur: "I would say showing pity at me, a couple adopted me. But then a year later, at the birth of their daughter I was forgotten, not literally, but some disdain was there."

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[ The Exclusive skill 'False Awakening' is activated. ]

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My mother's face melting, along with the world around me, that I saw when I fainted after the Plaza Incident surfaced in my mind.

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[ The Exclusive skill 'False Awakening' has restored your mental derealization. ]

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But, False awakening restored my senses, as talking about my reality shook me up. Fortunately, I had this skill.

-My king.

Zoe's voice resounded, sad and low, even the waterfall sound in the back of my mind, had a sad flow to it. It seems it is over an hour. 'I am fine', I replied to her.

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[ The Nubecula 'Who Like Cigars And Candy' is looking at you. ]

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[ The Nubecula 'Whose Heart Bleeds For Heartbroken' is looking at you. ]

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[ The Nubecula 'Raziel' is looking at you. ]

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[ The Nubecula 'Dionysus' is looking at you. ]

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[ The Nubecula 'Gumiho' is looking at you. ]

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[ The Nubecula 'Hwang Jini' is looking at you. ]

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No comments were there, they also just listened.

Arthur: "I would not elaborate, but believe me when I say, I understand."

The hold of hers on my collars lightened a bit, at that pushing with my hands on the couch, I brought my face closer to her. Instinctively, she tried to move away, but the sheet covering us, part of it that was over my hand, I grabbed them and pulled.

Like a rope around her neck, the edge of the sheet was unable to move, and tightened at the back of her neck. With the stronghold on my hand I pinned her, unable to let her move back, and our faces remained close. I focused on my reflection which had a hardened expression now instead of the defeated one.

Arthur: "But what does dwelling on it would do? I let them choose me that was my fault. My birth may be out of my control, but my existence made my birth parents choose me, which they couldn't do. And again, I never argued but accepted when someone came to adopt me, because they couldn't have a child. So even when they did have one, it would be my own selfishness if I let them take responsibility."

Galinthias: "...That is a messed up way to look at that situation."

She said with a little confusion like she was uncertain whether what I said was weird, or that she didn't find a logic behind my words, that was weird.

Arthur: "Maybe. But."

A hint of a smile curled on the corner of my lips, and my eyes were determined. I saw pure rationality in my words, I had to.

Arthur: " You recalled what I said at the start of the narrative. Pick me. If I saw it another way, and be furious with my birth parents for abandoning me on a healthcare. Disappointed, that my adopted parents preferred their biological daughter over me, whom they gave a home, it is just asking to be picked in the herd."

She looked at me weirdly, even though I knew that my words were not what a normal person would view as sensical, but that is how I lived.

Arthur: "Instead, I rather choose. I would rather, shape my own story, stick to the one I want to be stuck with, and become far with whom I want nothing to do with."

Galinthias: "So, you say I asked to be picked?"

Arthur: "When you saved the child, did you do that because you chose him? If that is how it is, why didn't you fight to be by his side, and see if he grew up healthy and had a fulfilled life?"

Galinthias: "I-"

She choked again, unable to answer. I didn't let her make any coherent thought and spoke immediately.

Arthur: "And if you chose to be with the goddess of witchcraft. Why didn't stick with her, accompany her on her journey, and maybe even help her?"

Galinthias: "I- It... was-"

Unable to reply, she was stuck, even forget that she was fidgeting before because of how close our faces were, maybe twenty centimeters is the space between us.

Her eyes moved here and there, maybe lost, or due to being unable to answer, her eyes tried to look away from mine. I pulled on the sheets in my hand, bringing her face a little closer, pinning her so that she couldn't look away from my eyes.

Arthur: "When have you ever chosen Galinthias? Even now, you lured those people, even trap them, but you lured more with whom they could share more time with. If you chose them, why didn't stick with them? why did you comply? Why didn't you just decide that you would be with them no matter what? even if they refuse, why lure more and more? You were even readied to be hated, so why not?"

Galinthias: "I- I don'..."

My words weighed on her, and unable to resist, I pushed and pushed her. I know that the passing scenario is to free Galinthias from her own shackles, the feeling of being forsaken. 

I tried to show her feelings as her own fault since I was able to come out of it that way to a certain extent, at least able to deal with it, maybe she will too. 

She will be more determined, she will try to mold her own future, and maybe then she will choose someone she lured, maybe Amanda? She was the first one missing. Maybe she will be able to form a bond with her. The girl, in a shirtdress with an ornament on her ear, weeping came into mind.

Maybe...

As these thoughts were going around in my mind in circles. Galinthias was in her own thoughts, I didn't know what, but her eyes kept moving looking into my eyes, and because of that, I didn't move my gaze much. Her lips continuously parted and closed, sometimes curled.

Then I saw something hardened in those crystal blue eyes, as she licked her lips once.

Galinthias: "Then I choose you."

Taken aback by her words, my expression broke.

Arthur: "Wait, what?"

Ignoring my words, her hands that were on my collar, moved passed my neck, her face moved towards me, and went to my side. She wrapped her arms around my neck, resting her chin on my shoulder.

As she held me tighter, I could feel her bare chest on my own open chest, and I felt her curve over my clothes. Disregarding this she spoke in hush into my ears.

Galinthias: "I choose you."

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[ The Nubecula 'Dionysus' is laughing. ]

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[ The Nubecula 'Dionysus' has choked on his wine and is coughing. ]

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[ The Nubecula 'Who Like Cigars And Candy' is laughing madly. ]

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Stop laughing you asshole. I grumbled gritting my teeth.

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[ The Nubecula 'Whose Heart Bleeds For Heartbroken' is shaking her head in a sigh. ]

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[ The Nubecula 'Who Like Cigars And Candy' comments "Who didn't see that coming? HAHAHA. " ]

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I didn't see that one coming. I roared inside.

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[ The Nubecula 'Raziel' is sighing. ]

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[ The Nubecula 'Hwang Jini' is shaking her head in disappointment due to lack on the insight you showed towards the obvious. ]

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[ The Nubecula 'Gumiho' comments "He is hopeless." ]

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Arthur: "Wait Galinthias-"

Galinthias: "I have waited long enough."

Her voice spoke cutting through mine.

Galinthias: "The only thing I can think right now is how stupid I have been. But now I finally feel like I know what being selfish means... I have decided, and I want to accompany you, be by your side, see your journey, and help if I can. I rather have bad days with you than be alone forever."

Arthur: "Gal-"

My voice stuck, as I felt her head move and she put her forehead on my shoulder, her eyes shut, like she didn't want to face ahead to my words.

Galinthias: "I won't let go.! No matter what you say. What is so bad about it? I am the one who will be stuck with you. An arrogant man whose demeanor is like above all, but a broken child whose heart trickles by someone else's pain like you actually know them. You are hopeless."

I felt a bulge forming on my forehead. 'This bitc-' I held myself. 'Clinging to me like that, Who is hopeless?' I grumbled inside.

I felt her hold around my neck tighten. Bold and determined her words may be, I felt like I had a glass piece with numerous cracks over it in my arms, which could shatter any minute. 

What would happen if she is abandoned again? If I reject her this time?

Sighing in my heart I didn't know what to do, but if I had to speak honestly.

Arthur: "Galinthias, I am not confident enough, if I can fill the void inside you. Even if I said that I understand those feelings, you are still the one who felt yours by yourself. That is why I said you should choose for yourself."

I felt her whimper a little in my arms. I didn't know whether she said she chose me because I was the only one infront of her right now, or because she was desperate to throw her selfishness to whoever she saw infront of her, or because she thought she felt a connection with me.

Arthur: "But, if you are determined. I can say that I won't ignore you, I know that feeling. I won't treat you as if you are invisible..."

I didn't know what exact words I should use, because what I said sounded as if I just repeated myself from earlier. But I spoke with a clear voice, trying to give a genuine depth to them, so that they won't sound so simple.

Arthur: "...I will not abandon you."

I heard a deep breath being let go, it flowed through my chest, inside my shirt. 

Galinthias: "That is enough."

Galinthias, loosened her arms around my neck, holding them at my shoulders, she lifted her head.

As her body stopped clinging to mine, I crossed my arms infront, holding the sheets in my hand. The sheet wrapped around Galinthias, only revealing everything above her armpits.

As her head raised, I looked at her face, A smile, a relieved smile, and a bright one, was on her face. Her eyes were clear, shining like crystals, there was life in them and determination. Her whole appearance lit up reflecting the light from the window as her lips parted in two.

Galinthias: "So, from now on, you are my precious one. And I will be your eternal Gale."

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[ You have acquired a Passive Skill 'Eternal Gale Lvl.6" ]

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***

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[ The Nubecula 'Gumiho' comments "Wait but that's-" ]

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[ The Nubecula 'Dionysus' comments "Hush. Hush." ]

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[ The Nubecula 'Hwang Jini' comments "Interesting." ]

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[ The Nubecula 'Raziel' comments "I don't know if I should call him lucky or unlucky." ]

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[ The Nubecula 'Who Like Cigars And Candy' is scowling. ]

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[ The Nubecula 'Whose Heart Bleeds For Heartbroken' is looking with fondness and concern. ]

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