My mysterious soldier love
It was the fall of last year, when everything around was so tranquil. Classic atmosphere, mom's delicacy, tea under the boisterous proof drizzle....it was perfect. Walk to work continued to be the escape hour of my day. Though I walked the same road zillion times, it was still the dearest one. Never actually bothered about who, why, when and what zoomed across During the walk expect this one.
Dark muddy cargo shorts, surf white T-shirt, amazing bear-do, sharp lined eyes. Stood there with a long conduit in his hands, cleaning his car. I gazed at once. Well... Actually twice. Just to capture the thorough glimpse of his beard and trust me the chuckle was involuntary and unstoppable. Wow !! Spectacular to see someone like him. Man...damn it ! To my sense he was an excellent reminder of those epic personality from golden era. Old.... but OH MY GOD such an awe inspiring and magnificent traits of their epoch. Always wondered if all soldiers were born modish like him.
Little did I knew about the kind he is or could be. Regardless of his innate personality, prompts me to be like one. Times umpteen I had encountered him. dawn to dusk with the dogs and they do give a lot of heed to his decrees. I wonder what are they named as but sware to God such show stealers on the streets. Attention grabbers !!
Attempts made were multiple in hope to get his name, At least. But to my guts, they felt feeble too of things unknown. Well... Days and night swept by in anticipation to break the ice some day and continued the walk.
It so happened one day out of a blue when I saw him coming behind and never actually perceived that we walked along quite a distance. Unknowingly, it never felt a thing but when the realisation occurred it was unexplainable and covet for it to never hit the margins! Ever ! But it had too. To be canonical....in 50 seconds. I had no Shadow of suspicion in me about the feeling were apt or not but mark me, it was remarkable. Which author had depicted better? Or could ? It is purely to do with how you discern it. It's all about the feelings. Who cares whether it lasts or pasts. I believed flowing in the flow, because the flow for sure...lasts in your conception and imagination.
Wasn't it numb ? Truly it was. Haven't you gone through the feeling of feeling insensate or in my terms.. ANESTHETIC ? but the good numb. Times when you go through this ..not so good period , it is best to stay non-reactive. Trust me...that aids in keeping your tranquil stable. Heartaches are good , it teaches you mandatory lessons of life which most of us don't regret learning multiple times or may be find it as one of the obligatory thing to have this knock all time along..... May be to never loose the reality check. What come may, feelings are feelings and the best part is.. it is distinctive from person to person. Hence it was very special to me.
T'was about turn when I saw the end lines of the street and him, moving ahead of me. I was nubile enough to descriminate between love, love at first sight, fling, infatuation and more but I stood there with the feelings that belonged and occurred to me alone and wow to the saintliness because it felt altruistic with no expectations. Apart from the desire to cross his path now and then and feel beats skipping over and over again. I knew it was and is the most doltish thing ever to even allow your heart go through something that wouldn't sustain longer...yet we do it because nothing on earth gives you the feeling like love does. Beyond comparison and comprehension.
That's how the days were passing until my ways bumped into him. Again !! To my surprise....it was way too expeditious for someone to bring their pets out for a walk. May be, that's the regime. Well.. I wasn't out either to stalk. It was my idiosyncratic working hour. He wasn't Cognizant about me being in rick from behind, having my vision and breath stuck on him... Longing for him to turn back once and have his eyes fall on me... But to my great fortune and speeding rick, it never happened.
I saw setting of the sun, I saw shades of silver lines, I saw paddy fields dancing in one accord and waving bye to me. I saw women heading to cook supper, I saw people waiting for their next transport, I saw exhaustion and relief, I saw fire and rain between few miles of distant, I saw all that I was ought to see and what I was not.... but .... I couldn't see him. How unfair the destiny could get which never pity on my helpless state. The objects fell in an alignment under my eye lids. It was sleep that took over me.
It almost felt like... having no boyfriend yet going through a break up. How much more these emotions could get worse? I know now ..how does one feels when the literal one occurs. Horrifying !! and coming out of one, another horrifying thing! horrifying to not been able to reveal the love I had dug up deep within for him.
breathing on presumptions are good for a while and acting on it , does help some times. The love remained here and he was already there. like he knew the storm of my heart. arrival awaits in eagerness my mysterious love.