Twenty-Six

"Sorry." I say. When it's just me and him I would have called him a dick and joked with him but once someone else enters the house I go back to being a hostage. I stand up as he does with a mixing bowl in his hand and I sit on the stool again.

"It's just me cuz." I hear Ray say. The door closes and I look down at the counter as Ryan slides the plate in front of me.

"Oh what's up Ray." Ryan asks as he leans on his elbows next to me on the counter.

"Athea." Ray says curtly in acknowledging my presence. "You told me you needed to talk today. I was taking care of that other problem first for you so I'm sorry you had to wait."

"You're good. Athea go upstairs after you eat. I don't want you coming around the study door for a while. It's private." Ryan orders me. There goes his good mood again. His flirty mood too. He's got to be lonely. He never gets any action either. I scowl at him when Ray walks into the study and Ryan shoots me a look. As he walks by me he runs his hand across my back making me shiver a little. I was still running off of hormones and adrenaline from what just happened before Ray showed up.

I didn't feel like myself lately. I felt as if I was someone else who enjoyed flirting with him. Maybe I was just really bored and doing things I wouldn't normally do. I walk upstairs and into his room since the only time I'm allowed in here is when there's a party and he needs a break from everyone. I always sit on his bed quietly watching him pace back and forth and even looking out his window. I guess even those in the mafia have issues with family members. I run my finger along his dresser as I amble about his room.

I sit on his bed and wait patiently and get bored so I go into his closet to see what he may be hiding. I find a journal and start reading the first page.

'I ran into the Judge Carsons' daughter. She wasn't what I expected her to be. I even bought her stuff to eat today and then when I found out who she was I hightailed it out of there. I was supposed to kidnap her for ransom and here I am making buddies with her. Well, I'm not going to. I can't get distracted because my Uncle needs this so much more. His bail was set in the millions and - shit.'

I close the journal quickly putting it back under the duffel bag in the closet. I really didn't want to read about his plan's to torture me but it seemed he was merely desperate to help his Uncle. I was just the unlucky pawn. The unlucky pawn that has a prominent judge for a father and a mother who helicopter parents. My face flames as I fight the urge to read it all and how vulnerable it seemed he was. It sounded like he didn't think he had a choice but to do this. I was in awe because I thought he had this thought out with malicious intent. I go and fall on his bed as it hits me he was scared. The only time I have ever seen or read him being scared. He may have had the intent to kidnap me but I don't think he had the intent to beat me senseless for days.

"Are you comfortable?" Ryan asks scaring me out of my thoughts. I turn my head and see he is leaning against the door frame with raised eyebrows. There was a flicker of a smirk at the corner of his mouth and amusement was apparent in his eyes.

"Yeah." I say and stretch, sitting up. I could feel his eyes following my every moment throughout my whole body. I look up at him and see that his eyes are more chocolaty. A delicious dark chocolate color that makes my insides twist.

"Get out." He throws an arm to the side pointing at the door and has his other hand on his forehead like he was squishing it together. He seemed stressed. I refused to think his thoughts went the direction mine had. I refused to even admit to myself that my thoughts went that direction.

"Sorry. I figured I'd try to get to know my kidnapper better but you know. I guess you want to act like an old man with the get off my lawn shit." I toss my hair and stand in the hall outside his door. "And then when I found out who she was, I hightailed it out of there." I said to him teasing him. He turns around and stares daggers at me. My smile faltered.

"How much did you read?" He asked stunned. I have never seen him stunned and his face pale like it just did.

"Just up until shit. When you were talking about the bail." He walks towards me quickly and I flinch covering my head. I hadn't done that for months but I flashed back and reacted. I look up when I didn't feel a blow and see him fix his face into being emotionless.

"Don't ever read anything I have written down. Go." He slammed his bedroom door closed and I walked to my room closing the door quietly. I lay down on my bed and start crying and before I knew it I was asleep.

I woke up screaming and Ryan hadn't come in yet. I get up and walk to his room. I hesitate wanting to knock but not wanting to anger him, I just open the door and walk in quietly. I crawl in his bed with him and lay on the edge in case he wants to kick me out. I hope he didn't kick me out or I was going to get no more sleep tonight.

I feel him roll over and I stop breathing in fear of waking him up. I feel him poke me. I slowly turn over and give a small smile.

"You okay?" He looks genuinely concerned. I brush it off mentally reminding myself that he's probably half asleep.

"I don't know. I just don't want to be alone." I said sheepishly and feared getting scolded like a child.

"Okay. Get off the edge then. The edge isn't that comfortable." He says like he wouldn't have kicked me out last week.

"Why are you so nice sometimes and other times mean?" I ask him. I was turned towards him with my arm under the pillow.

"You're difficult to deal with and things that I'm thinking are driving me crazy." He mutters. I doubt he even knows what he's really saying right now.

"Like?" I say with my brows furrowed. I wanted so badly to believe him. That he was having the same thoughts I was but I refused to believe it.

"Hmm?" He asks with his eyes closed but he raises his eyebrows. At least he was trying to let me know he was listening.

"What do you think about?" I felt childish for asking but it was late and I was awake. I hear him groan and the sheets move like he was sitting up. A minute later the lamp next to the bed turns on. I watch as he rubs his face with both hands trying to rub the sleep away. It made him look so boyish and made me feel bad. I was keeping him up.

"A lot of things." He looks at me and lets his arms flop to his lap. This was starting to feel more and more like a mistake. He didn't seem angry but he was tired and I hated being tired so why wouldn't he.

"Well?" I ask trying to egg him on. I felt weird being in his bed but I really didn't want to be alone. If he doesn't want me in here then I'll leave. "I'm sorry. You're tired. I'll go back to my room now. You don't have to answer." I didn't even give him the chance to answer before I decided to get up and leave. I berate myself for doing this.

I get up throwing the blankets back and hurriedly making it neat again to get out of his room. My face was red from embarrassment and I hurry out the door. I crawl into my bed wide awake and mentally berating myself for bothering him. I still didn't want to be alone but I didn't really have a choice now. I already left his room and I refused to let him see how scared I was to fall asleep. I wouldn't be able to right now anyways because my thoughts were racing. Did he really have runaway thoughts about me the same way I do about him or was he just so tired he wasn't caring what he said and how I may take it?