YOUR HEARTACHES, MY HEARTACHES

He approached me and hugged me tightly. Again, I felt pain and longing for him.

"Please forgive me for what I did to you before Jhin. I'm really sorry." he's crying.

"No matter how much you say sorry, the pain you made me feel will never go away Marknell." I cried too.

"But Jhin I still love you until now. Believe me, I regret everything I did to you before."

The thunder grew louder so I hugged Marknell tightly. And again I felt a strange feeling in my heart for him. I let go of his hug. I wiped away my tears.

"It's all over, I forgot about you for a long time."

"That's not true. Your hug, your kisses, say you still love me Jhin, why are you holding your heart to me? I still love you so much until now."

He hugged me tightly and put our lips together again, his kisses were harsh and punishing me, full of longing, I was carried away by my feelings. Marknell is the only one who makes me feel this way.

I am stupid but YES something happened to us. Marknell is the only man I want to claim over my body. Only with him and I will open my heart for him again.

Even if everyone gets angry, even I’ll be called a fool. But in love you become a fool, don't you? Maybe this is love, ready to forgive no matter what he did before.

But whatever heat we had last night it is the opposite today.

"Jhin about last night -"

I blocked her lips. I got up and took my bag, the weather was okay so I could leave and go home, and it was Saturday so we only had half a day.

He held my hand. "Jhin we both wanted what happened last night. I wish we could be together again."

I would have answered YES but there was a knock on the door, maybe his mom. I fixed myself.

"Babe!" The woman hugged him tightly, I was stunned. Babe?

"I was worried about you a lot, I went to your pad, I called Tita because I could not contact you and she said you are here. I'm sorry if I did not come here last night, because-" she stopped when she finally realized they are not alone, that hey I am here. "Babe who is she?"

I was just like? Shit, my heart hurts twice as much, why until now Marknell? I looked at them both and tried to smile.

"I am his ex-gf, an ex. "I pushed Marknell and rushed outside, crying. I hailed a taxi when I got to the road.

"Jhin wait a moment!" he knocked on the taxi. "I will explain, please."

Let's go. "I also saw him chasing the taxi, but my love for him was overshadowed by anger and hatred. Enough of my stupidity, enough…

I punched the wall when I could no longer see the vehicle. I could do nothing but return home and there I saw Yas crying. She stood up as I entered.

"Do you still love her? This is the reason why you are getting cold to me! It is because of her right?

"I'm sorry Yas, but yes I still love her. I still haven't lost my love for her. I'm sorry."

She slapped me. "I did everything for you! What else is missing? I gave you everything! Even though my parents didn’t like you for me I fought for you, because I love you. I understood everything for you and then this is all you will repay me? Babe, we are in Five years already! Five years!"

Yes, I feel sorry for Yas but what can I do. “Slap me Yas, hurt me, because yes I am a very worthless person! I am a coward! A coward! But Yas I forced myself not to love her anymore, I restrained myself from loving her!"

"Stop it!" she cut me in.

"But I still love her to this day! She never disappears from my mind. I'm sorry."

"Is she better than me? Tell me! Is she better in bed?"

"Yas Jhin is not that kind of woman."

"So what do you think of me? Ha? Are you tired of me?!" she sobbed. "Babe I will forget everything, come back to me. I can't handle everything, you are my life. Please..." Yas hugged me.

"I'm sorry but I can't cheat on my heart Yas." I removed her arms and left the house. I need to talk to Jhin.

"JHIN are you okay? Where have you been? I've been waiting for you before." he parted the hair on my face. He is the reason why I can’t get mad at all the guys.

I cried and hugged him tightly. "BFF..." I sobbed in his chest. I felt his hug tighten. He just let me cry and cry until I stopped spontaneously. He helped me walk into the house and took some water and gave it to me to drink.

He just stared at me, when I’m done. He started talking just like in the old days. "Is this all about your ex again?"

I nodded. "I still love him," I told him. "But he has someone else."

"Was he with you last night?"

I nodded again.

I FEEL like I want to get lost in this moment, if Jhin is hurting now, the pain I feel inside now is double. I saw her suffering, but she did not see mine. I pushed her to sit and put my arm around her. She tilted her head towards me.

"I still want to cry BFF, but there are no tears. I still want to feel pain so that my heart can stop loving him but there is no space. I want to hate him but why can't I?! I want to take revenge but I can't. I don't know what to do BFF. "

"Use me to hurt him." I'm desperately suggested.

"Are you kidding? You're my BFF there is no way, I can't use you."

"I'm serious Jhin, use me to take your revenge, for you to forget him, I'm ready to do it for you."

"Thank you BFF, thank you because you are always here for me, maybe I will go crazy if I am not with you. But I cannot do that to you because I am your BFF, you are important to me.”

And she hugged me tightly again. It hurts; I was really just a BFF for her.