Five- Kisses and Confession

As soon as we finish our order we get into the car where he opens the door for me again.

I can't stand this awkwardness. My heart feels as if its going to burst out of my chest like some sort of manga. I just hear my heartbeat in my ears and my palms slowly sweat with nerves.

Am I overthinking this?

I mean I know my heart has been like this a few times... but him asking me out on a date. It feels like I'm gonna explode, I can't tell if its a good or bad feeling.

He puts the food in the backseat, and we start driving back to the college.

"So, um…. Did you really mean what you said at the restaurant?" I have to ask it's eating me up inside. What if this is just one of his famous bad jokes?

"Yes, I did. I want to know more about you, and by the way I lied."

"Lied about what?" I look at him confused.

"Back in my room when I said you weren't attractive"

"You don't gotta lie, I know I'm not." I'm ugly inside and out, even if he thinks he likes me, it's probably just a passing fling or something. My cheeks are already burning a bit even though I know he is probably joking.

The rest of the car ride is silent and as awkward as ever.

As we park, I lean over to tell him I'm sorry for spoiling the mood but as soon as I look at him, I feel soft lips caress mine and his hand cup my cheek slowly making its way to my neck. The kiss was hungry and deep not allowing my lips to leave his. As soon as I gasp to breathe, I feel his tongue entangle mine and his hand finding its way to the back of my head as he slowly pulls my hair forcing my head to go back so he could kiss me even deeper. He scraps the top of my mouth and playfully bites my tongue before slowly letting my mouth go. My brain feels as if it was drowning in pleasure as I pant trying to catch my breath as his deep green eyes stare into mine.

"I wouldn't do that if I wasn't attractive to you," he smirks as though forcing me to acknowledge what he said as truth. He slides his hand away from my head and traced my lips with his thumb.

My face heats up and I can't make out any words, but he just smiles at me before dropping his hand.

"Come on let's go eat." he opens the car door to get our food and I slowly get out of the car following behind him until we get to the roof.

Now I'm trapped with nowhere to go.

I look at him preparing our food while he hands my noodles and opens his box of chicken.

"Why did you kiss me…" I ask knowing the obvious but not knowing what else to say as I wrap my noodles around my chop sticks. "We have been enemies for years and … now in the couple of minutes we are friends you…" I look away to ashamed to say the rest.

He puts down his fork and looks at me directly with a serious face.

"I always liked you, I never said I wanted to be your friend."

He sighs and scratches his head and looks at me again.

"When you first moved here in middle school, I thought you were cute. but you seem to have everything I didn't. Your dad spoiled you and you got popular fast… I thought you were using go your dad's popularity to gain friends."

I interrupt him "I did… I did but I didn't mean too."

"I know," he smiles softly "they were trying to be your friend because who your father was, but I didn't see it back then. The more I saw you hang out with your friends I became jealous. On top of everything my mom was still a single parent with two boys, struggling at the time to make ends meet and when I saw how well you were doing with your dad and everything, I was jealous and snapped and took it out in you. Years later and even now I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't stop. but when you came into my room for the project, and we started talking I couldn't even remember the reason I was ever mad at you. You looked so cute, and I just wanted you for myself… I was even jealous of my brother for being able to be friends with you."

He comes towards me and slowly grabs my hands gently rubbing them

"I like you, Ali. I know it might take some time for you to like me back, but I really do like you. You don't have to answer right away but I want you to know my feelings. I have had them for a long time, and i know this is happening fast but after everything I just felt like I had to tell you."

He raises my hand up and kisses the back of my hand.

"But I-... I don't know how to answer you."

He pats my head and caresses my cheek with his hand.

"It's ok you don't have to right now; I'm going to get going to class, ok?" He says as he packs up his chicken to take to class leaving me behind on the roof.

I manage to say goodbye, but I end up skipping my class to stay up on the roof.

I eat the noodles after they already have gotten cold.

"Like me…? He likes me?" I feel the embarrassment come back when I think about the kiss, he gave me in the car, and I pull my jacket over my face hiding my face from literally no one.

But I feel happy…

And terrified?

Like what if he just misunderstood his feels?

Or I don't know... what if he gets to know me and doesn't really like me. What if he's disappointed once he finds out my family and my dad. I feel the tears coming back again

"Ugh I'm such a cry baby. maybe my dad's right..."

Wait dad.

If he finds out I'm dating someone how's he even going to react?

I sigh and lay out on the concrete ground again looking up at the slowly fading sun.

I don't want to even think about dad.

But … I mean… besides dad... I like Eli too I mean-

I feel my face heating up again, I swear I won't ever return to normal after today.

I like Eli... I want to tell him I like him too.

I get up and slowly go downstairs and call Eli on my phone.

"Hello? Ali everything ok?"

"Yeah... umm where are you right now?"

"I'm just finishing up some work from last class in the library how about you?"

"Umm Eli can we meet right now when you're done? I have something to tell you."

I can feel my heart speed up already without even telling him yet.

"Sure, I'll be outside in a minute." I hear the phone hang up and I wait for him outside.

I sit on the concrete steps and feel my hands sweating with nerves.

"Ali!" I hear him and turn around to see him flying down the steps to greet me.

I stand up quickly and I feel my heart going a 100 miles per hour.

OH GOD.

Is this really happening? I'm so nervous but if I don't say it now I will never say it!

"Eli! I have something to say!"

I say a little louder than I meant.

He slows down and grabs my hands again and looks at me "yes? Is everything ok?"

"I…I like you. I didn't want to say it before because I was scared and unsure of my feelings but the more I thought about it I realized that it's the truth, would you ever consider being my boyfriend maybe?"

I embarrass myself just saying the word. I never thought I would hear that come out of my mouth.

I wanna run away before I even hear his answer.

He face lightens up like a kid and he kisses my lips again and smiles so brightly it makes me like him even more.

"Your mine." He grabs my waist to pull me in close, but I flinch from the broken ribs.

"I'm sorry-... just tickled ha-ha," I look at him and he raises his eyebrow.

"Whatever you say honey." he grabs my hand and interlocks our fingers together.

"Your very touchy feely, aren't you?"

I'm not used to anyone touching me this much. It feels weird.

"I just like touching what's min.e" he tightens his grip a tad and starts walking to his car.

"Want me to drive you to your job?"

"Oh uh… I kinda am unemployed. I quit the day I hid at your house."

Eli laughs at me, and I end up laughing too

"So, you just called and quit hmm. What was with you that day did you get into a bad fight with your dad? You where kinda weird around him?" He stops at his car and waits for my answer. What should I say? I don't want to lie but I don't exactly want to tell him the truth either…

"I just, I … we'll I wasn't planning on returning home, I was running away."

Eli looks at me with a concerned look "why running away? I thought your dad loved you. I mean your all he's got left and all."

I take a deep breath in and look at him.

"My dad doesn't like me."

"Doesn't like you? But he set you up with a job and he always talks about your close relationship."

I forgot Eli's mother works at the hospital as a nurse with my dad.

"He only acts like it for show. he doesn't actually care about me, he just-..." I stop myself before I say to much

"Anyways I gotta get going I'll walk home. I think my dad would kill me if he saw me getting out of your car."

"Well, how about I drive you at least part of the way? I'm nervous after what happened to you… did you ever find out who it was?"

I shake my head "no."

"Well, I'll drive you and watch you till you go in the door, how about that?"

"Sure! Thanks." I get in his car to ride home, and he stops a couple houses down before mine.

"Thanks for the ride," I say unlocking my seatbelt as I go to get out of the car putting my hand on the handle. I feel his hand go over top mine and when I look at him, he kisses my lips with his own and trails his kisses down till he reaches my neck.

"M-my necks sensitive w-wait a-"

I feel him suck and dig his teeth into my collarbone. My body shudder with excitement as I accidentally let a moan escape my lips.

Oh god.

It feels too good.

I grab his arm and my body shakes a tad from the lingering bite. He licks the hickey he left on my neck and whispers in my ear "good girl, it looks great on you," he looks down at the mark clearly proud of his accomplishment.

"Nice try genius but I can't let anyone know, dad would kill me remember?"

"I know which is why I got this," he opens his glove department and hands me a band aid from the mountain of stuff packed in there. He gently placed it on my neck, and I kiss his cheek.

"Thanks Eli I gotta go." I open and shut his door as he drives away and waved goodbye.

I slowly walk the rest of the way home. Honestly, I wish we could just leave totter and get away from this place. Wow one day of dating and I'm ready to move in… I sigh at myself and stop walking.

"What am I doing?" I mean do I deserve this? What if I ruin his life like I ruined my own and my dad's.