Staying in Rai’s room proved to be more difficult than I had thought. Most nights, I couldn’t sleep at all, just sobbing quietly, thinking how usually Rai was there to hold me.
The time I could sleep, I always woke up frantically looking for Rai, thinking that his passing away was just a nightmare, and I’d go to Damian to wake him up to tell him about ‘the dream’. Damian had to tell me that it was all real, not a nightmare, and I would break down and cry, and he’d comfort me.
Other times I would wake up with so much anguish that I screamed out Rai’s name hysterically. Then Damian would come to my rescue again.
With me unable to sleep properly, Damian asked me to sleep with him instead in Rai’s room. I agreed with him, so I never spent the nights in Rai’s room anymore.