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Mr. Zhou's Guide To Woo A Stupid Wife

To escape from a particularly scummy blind date, Xia Ling says “I like women!”. Who knew this would result in her family’s empress dowager having a massive misunderstanding and taking desperate measures. “Quit the blind dates.” Her mother demands. “En.” Xia Ling happily agrees, nodding enthusiastically. “I have no more hopes that you'll find a man on your own, so your future husband has been decided by me! All you have to do is show up on time when I tell you and sign the documents.” Her mother decrees. “Ah?!” Xia Ling screams. And so, Xia Ling puts on a disguise and goes undercover to scope out the future husband picked for her by the empress dowager. But how shameless was this man?! Acting clueless while already having a girlfriend! And who will tell her who this man looking on in amusement is? What did he want and why was he always around her?! Zhou Weisheng was being idle with his friends when a small fellow came over and started acting weird and glaring at his friend. Who did this little ‘boy' think ‘he' was fooling? Anyone with eyes could tell ‘he’ was clearly a she. But who would have thought, the little fellow was the future wife his mother had arranged for him. She however, seemed to think that her fiance was his best friend. And so he decided to take a wait and see approach towards the matter. The more he watched her foolish behaviour, the more interested he became. And thus started Mr. Zhou's road of wooing his wife.

zweep · Général

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3 Chs

CHAPTER ONE - I'm really not a lesbian!

"Are you a virgin?"

"Ah?" Xia Ling asked dazedly, staring at the albeit handsome but obviously greasy man sitting across from her, who couldn't seem to move his gaze away from her chest.

"Well, my future wife obviously needs to be a virgin. I cannot agree to be with an impure woman." He responded matter of factly.

"Are you a virgin?" Xia Ling asked instead.

"That's different." The man answered. "I'm a man and you're a woman."

This non-answer answered all her questions about this man. What a scummy, disgusting and chauvinistic man! She wanted nothing to do with him. So she took a deep breath, looked him in the eyes and said, "I like women."

"..."

"What a scum!" Xiao Fei declared, while sitting across from her.

Xiao Fei was her best friend from her university days. She dressed like a man, talked like a man and acted like a man. For instance, right now.

Fei Fei was leering at her breasts and a little drool slipped out of her mouth as she said, "But I can see why he couldn't look away from those jade rabbits. Can you blame him? They look so juicy and tempting. How are they so big when you're so tiny? Haha I know! Instead of nourishing your brain everything must have gone there instead!" She reached out her hands and grabbed hold of her bunnies.

Alas, right at this moment, the door crashed open and Xia Ling heard her family's old lady screaming as she thundered in. "XIA LING! Just what the hell have you done! I've never lost this much face in my entire life! You worthless-" her voice abruptly cut off as she took in the scene taking place in front of her.

"It's not what it looks like!" Xia Ling said desperately.

"..mom-"

"You shut your mouth for me!" Xia mother said as she paced back and forth furiously.

Xia Ling mustered up her courage once again and shakily said, "Mom it's really a misunderstanding! I know Fei Fei dresses and acts like that but you shouldn't be mistaken about her! She was just joking around! Fei Fei is a pure woman who likes men! She just… likes to appreciate the female form.."

"But you like women?! Why are you defending her?! So you actually do like women ah?!" Her mother roared. "Come here! This old lady promises not to beat you to death!"

...Crying without tears. What to do? My mother thinks I'm a lesbian! I'm waiting online for an answer!

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