The Upir Twins’ loss I

Near Bran, Romania, in the Carpathian Mountains of Transylvania.

An imposing Castle stood; Draculina’s Castle:

A Medieval fortress with Gothic elements, belonging to the infamous Vladia, the Great Blood Queen. Perched atop a rocky outcrop, it overlooked the surrounding mountains and valley.

<Eh? Who are you? God?>

Silence!! I have now taken the responsibility of narrating. You and your partner are narrating utter rubbish!

<Excuse me?! If not that you seem to be somewhat important, I would have called you all manner of names, just now!>

[Calm down, Kira. It wasn’t our God’s given duty to narrate in the first place.]

<Huh? But we were doing a great job as narrators! Even the readers said so!>

[That’s a lie. Uhm, Mr…?]

Hmph! Just call me Narrator-san. Your infantile understanding deprives you of the elegance required to be graced with hearing my exalted name.

<Ah! We got ourselves an ego Tripper here!>

[Uhm, Narrator-san. I hope we haven’t caused any trouble by narrating the story on our accord?]

Hm? Didn’t you hear what I said initially? HEAVY-EXASPERATED-SIGH!

<You didn’t need to add that “Heavy-exasperated!”>

Let me introduce my Glorious self; My name is Masper-

<I thought you weren’t going to say your name?>

…T-That wasn’t my name. You shall call me Narrator-san – or rather, you must.

<And what happens if we don’t?>

*Narrator-san pulls Kira’s cheeks, spiritually.

[what does it mean to pull a cheek spiritually?]

<Owwww!! ow, ow, ow, ow!! Okay, okay, I’m sorry! Please stop!!>

[Eh?! It actually worked! Kowai.]

Now, you probably see the difference in our position – how much more beautiful I am than you.

[Huh? Was that what we were doing?]

I, Maspe- I mean, Narrator-san, was sent by the gods to perform the narration in your stead. Actually, nobody asked you both to do it, in the first place.

<The thing is, after we died, both I and my minion over there->

[What minion, Kira? I don’t see any minion, anywhere.]

<We became somewhat aware, and capable of influencing reality somehow; like watching recurrences and reliving situations. So since we didn’t have anything else to do, we started doing flashbacks, and narration to kill of time before we, I don’t know, reincarnate?>

Hm? What are you talking about? You both went through a reckless, almost-failed apotheosis. Now, you inferiors are spirits hovering between mortality and divinity – I think “Yokai” or evil spirit best suits the term to describe you.

[U-Uhm!! L-L-Let’s get back to the story! We initially told the readers that we’ll end the diversion in the 14th chapter, but here we are at the 17th. Ha-ha-ha.]

<Oi, Victor. Are you okay? The readers are already used to our lies, by now. Let the Egotistic phantom finish its breakdown.>

[N-No, I…]

I’m not a phantom, though. But I see what is happening here: You’re face-to-face with greatness and it’s strange. You don’t even kno-

<Narrator-san… No…>

A-Ahem! I got a bit carried away, there. It seems like I am being infected by you puny inferiors – in being suddenly carried away, and befouling the narrative.

But I actually see what is happening here… Boy, when do you intend to tell her?

<Hm? Tell me what?>

[I… don’t know.]

<Eh!... Eh!!! Victor, is this what I think it is?>

[Huh? Y-you found out?]

<Well, I’m not an idiot! I could’ve eventually figured it out, silly!>

[Ah! You’re right! I’m so sorry! I just couldn’t think of another way to save you! I didn’t know where we would go after death so I just-]

<What are you talking about? Death? Save?>

[…What are YOU talking about? You said you realized what was going on?]

<Well, yeah. Y-y-y-you are in love with me, a-a-and you were keeping it a secret, right?>

[Eh?]

Narrator-san: “Eh?”

<W-well, I don’t have a thing for worms or maggot, or anything like that! B-but I guess I can humor you a bit, you know, b-because we’ve been through a lot together. Ehehehe. Ah! But we’re dead now! I guess we’re a dead couple now, right?>

[Uhm… Narrator-san…]

Don’t worry, I understand. I will continue the story now.

“…This is a bit silly; we’ve looked for the artifact of intervention for 2 centuries now. and it was at our own base all along.” A pale beauty, Khaos, spoke with a wry smile.

“Fret not! It is of little concern – we found the artifact, and that is what matters.” Another pale beauty, resembling the former, spoke with a positive smile. She was Kaktos.

They were a pair of Upirs, who were in the quest of resurrecting an old friend of theirs (in truth, they raised him like their own child) who foolishly challenged one of the pillars of the world, as the two idiots, Kira and Victor – now a, cough! Cough! Couple! Cough! – narrated in the previous chapters.

[I seriously wonder why I’m being called an idiot. There is only one idiot here.]

<You tell him, Victor! The only idiot here is you, Narrator-san!>

*Kira clings to Victor, awkwardly.

<W-what does that mean?!>

[…Uhm…]

Don’t worry, I understand. I will continue the story;

The Upir twins lost their friend, Dragon Lord Drabo, 200 years ago. However, they have refused to let the dead bury the dead, and instead wish to resurrect him.

For 200 years they have looked for the constituents in which they will need in order to perform the resurrection, and here they are, finally reaching the end of their journey – they found the last piece of factor; the “Artifact of intervention.”

This Artifact is an item of greatness, changing the nature of reality and inverting Phenomenon. It is a “wanted” item, worldwide – supernatural world, that is – some individuals desire to use it for evil, some for good, some for personal motives, and some seek to destroy it.

Kaktos was in seventh heaven, on cloud nine. Her beloved Drabo would be resurrected soon.

She exclaimed, looking at the moonlit plain before her, “Ah, this place will be good; We shall resurrect Drabo here.”

She then breathed a deep breath of air, “Heh-heh,” she chuckled, and spoke in a low tone, as if whispering, “Our first encounter with Kaliyah ensued here… Such nostalgia.”

Khaos smiled in reminiscence, “Ah. When we revive Drabo, let us show him the big family we have acquired,” he added, holding a silvery blue rod with numerous symbols carved on it – the artifact.

They were both standing on a high, archaic building – Draculina’s Castle – gazing at the vast field in front of them; it was filled with dark energies because of the intense fear humans brought to it: according to the legends, a renowned Vampire once developed the tendency of impaling people, so much so, the impaled bodies would fill the whole, vast plains.

<It was more than just a legend – the field was currently overlaid with stakes intersecting bones.>

Excuse me, did I invite you, Kira?

<Ehehe, I just->

Please refrain from further senselessness.

<What!? I was trying to throw you a bone, there!>

The night’s breeze frolicked with their hairs and their long, deep red dress, resembling a robe, as a young red-haired woman flew towards them from the sky. Two others accompanied her – one, teenage-looking boy, leaped atop the castle, and the other, a deep green-haired woman flew down, behind the red-haired, to the castle’s roof. They all knelt before the twins.

“My lords, the preparation will soon be complete; the Arcane symbols have been drawn, and our best dark magic users have also been mobilized.”

The wind frisked with her red hair, as she looked up with her burning red eyes and continued, “And I see you have already obtained the Artifact of intervention. What is left now is a vestige of great value for the dead, and a blood sacrifice.”

Kaktos smiled deeply, besides herself with excitement, and said, “There are no concerns with the vestiges.”

“Vestiges? My Lady, we only need one vesti-”

“Ah! I cannot wait any longer to see my dear Drabo. I’m still in shock at the nearness of his revival. Begin the process! Kaliyah, Gideon, Eira!”

“““Yes! Lady Kaktos!”””

Kaktos gave her orders to the underlings.

<Heeeeeeeey!! I want to Narraaaate!!>

[Kira, quit acting like a bab-]

<I want to narrate! I want to narrate!! I want to narrate!!!>

What in the heavens are you doing, spoiling my narration?!!

<Your narration is numbing the readers with boredom! They told me.>

[How did they manage to do that?!]

B-Boring Narration?!

<Yes! Boring Narration!>

[Hey, Narrator-san, don’t get webbed into Kira’s mischievousness!]

<Even that lowest-of-the-low Victor did better than this.>

[You’re currently dating that Lowest-of-the-low. Though, he didn’t confess his feelings or propose anything.]

But the gods… my duty…

<Forget duty! I lived a happy life disobeying authorities by doing whatever I pleased!>

[Kira, some kids might be reading this; Stop raising delinquents.]

Kira-Sensei, what must I do?

[Narrator-san, you’re not helping in the least.]

<Hmph! I will teach you how to narrate, since you’re begging on your knees like a loyal mutt.>

[Narrator-san, it’s time to get mad, now.]

No! I had the conceited thought that I was the best narrator there is, but if the readers say it’s boring…

[We don’t have concrete evidence on that claim, Narrator-san.]

<Just watch how I’ll do it now, then you’ll go for another round. Is that clear, my imprudent and unwise student?>

Yes, Ma!

[Narrator-san, you’re forgetting that the gods gave you an assignment.]