Trauma And Fear
Hutogi drags Rio to the other dark room and then hits the switch to turn on the light.
"Ok, this room is quite big. We can settle everything here..."
"LET ME GO YOU FUCK! It's fucking hurt and uncomfortable- eh?" Rio feels his bruises and injury he got from before but it was nowhere to be seen. The feeling of pain was also gone as he stretched his arm.
("No way, this guy has healing magic too?") Rio looked at Hutogi and saw a serious expression on his face. Rio decided to change the topic...
"So, why are you bringing me here?" Hutogi didn't respond. Instead, he stares at Rio. Rio can feel that even if his eyes were closed all the time. Hutogi went to Rio and bowed down to him.
"I'm sorry." Rio was confused and dumbfounded. Because Rio thinks there's no reason for Hutogi to go to him and apologize.
"O-Oi! Lift your head up! Why the hell are you apologizing to me now of all the time?! And what the hell did you even do to me?!"
"It's been hard for you isn't it? Your trauma I mean..."
"Huh~? What does that even mean-" On second thought, Rio felt something wrong and double-checked his body. He feels his hand shakes vividly. Rio thinks...
("What the hell?") Until then, the shaking had gotten stronger. He feels a quiver down to his neck. The shaking spread to his body. Down to his feet. And then, as if the gravity itself pulled him, Rio realized that he was already on all four.
("W-What the hell is happening it feels like the gravity has gotten heavier!") But at the same Rio also realized something as he looked to the front. He was on all fours in front of Hutogi.
("No... This was a... sign of submission...!") Rio felt angry and humiliated. Not to Hutogi, but towards himself.
("Stand up! Stand up damn it! Why are you so scared, Rioga?! STAND UP!") The act is useless, he wasn't even able to get on his knees.
"I can feel it, your resentments towards yourself, your trauma, but most importantly, your FEAR. It's been lingering inside your body. When the person is traumatized, the fear will chain them. Prevent them from not being able to stand up... To do everything... And the one causing this is... me." Hutogi takes off his shirt, sits on his knees, and places his sword in front of him.
"This is the only way! Unscheathe your sword and kill me!" Rio is still on his four. The sweat started to flow on his head. His breathing becomes hard.
"What the hell are you talking about?! Even though I kill you that ain't gonna change shit! I just need to stand up..." But once again, it's futile. His hand slipped on the sweat that was on the floor and he dropped on his front. At that moment Rio can't feel his finger anymore. To the whole body.
("I can't feel anything... Can't even move a finger... Is it even fine if I just close my eyes here? But if I do that, it just inclined me as a COWARD... ahh... I can't feel anything anymore...") Rio closed his eyes as he lay on the floor. For a moment, he remembers his childhood.
This story takes place when he's about to reach 3 years old. The child sits on the pillow while being greeted by a pair of adults...
"Now now, be sure to be a good child and wait for our return alright?"
"That's right, make sure to listen to Aunt Riko and Gramps when we're going for a while okay? We'll make sure to pamper you a lot when we come back home." As the adults go from the child's sight, the tears begin to flow. And his cries begin to fill the silence in the house.
But one unexpected thing that the child didn't know was that it was the last time he saw the adults.
4 years later...
The child is just sitting in the courtyard watching people spar with their swords. And then, a figure went to sit beside him.
"Is it fun, Watching people spar?" The child hesitates to answer...
"I don't know... It was so fast to see- And it'll hurt when it's coming to you."
"Fred not, you'll slowly adapt to Gramps's teaching. As the heir of the Tenjiro Family, you need to learn the way of the sword faster than anyone. Until then Gramps's time in this world will pass on... But seeing you reject holding a sword, that's only a matter of time before this Family crumbles..." The child is silent for a second before he speaks again.
"Aunty Riko told me, My mother and father died in the war. By a sword. Tell me, gramps, why am I supposed to learn the path of violence? Just to die by violence?" The figure laughs loudly and then drinks a cup of sake that is in his hand.
"You see... Gramps is the first predecessor of this family back in my old times. Back before the family was created, there was a lot of slavery across Hana. A lot happened, and Gramps managed to shut the slavery. Because I'm not alone." The figure takes another sip of sake.
"As a thank, the Royal family decided to appoint Gramps's family into the noble family. With the words to stabilize an equality between citizens in the country. The same as when Gramps gives equality among slaves back in my days." The figure stands up...
"Rioga, every life is equal. And it's supposed to be in some other places. But this family can't reach them. This family is too small for this big world to reach for them. So, Rio, we go through a part of violence not to end violence, but to free the victim of violence. Remember, lives are equal."
The word from the figure opens the child's eyes. Learn violence to free the victim of violence, the child lives to this day remembering these words. Until one day, the child walks at the farm side. The child stumbled upon another child who was alone. Remembering the words, the child goes to another child.
"Oi, you're the attributeless everybody talks about right?"