Chapter 1 - First Day

Cora Edmundson was pure in heart. A smart, polite, young girl with the ability to light up a room with just a smile. Her parents were proud of her and loved her dearly. But she was not her fathers daughter, nor her mothers. Her father lived a double life, a hardworking labourer during the day but a criminal at night. On the other hand, her mother was not a criminal. Nevertheless, Cora felt equally betrayed by her mother as by her father when she found out about his lifestyle: her mother knew all along. It wasn't just Cora who never knew, no one in the family or their friends knew either. It was her father who had woven the web of disaster and her mother did everything in her power to protect it from the outside world, she loved him too much to lose him.

As inevitable as the perishing of a spiders fragile web in a storm, the secret got out when her father was sentenced to nine months in prison for the possession of a certain substance. Cora watched as they took him away from their home, her tears bled onto his shirt as she hugged him goodbye. Strangely, her mother didn't share the same saddened look. Instead she seemed relieved. And then the truth came out. Her father did more than posses such substances, he helped supply them as well as participating in other illegal activities. Her mother joked 'Nine months is nothing. Im surprised they haven't found out more.' It was no joke to Cora.

After he was back, Cora adjusted to the situation and had accepted him for what he was. A criminal. Nonetheless, he was still her father whom she loved dearly.

Oddly enough, his return resulted in a change that was far from expected. When being questioned by the authority, he kept his lips sealed, which meant a longer sentence but, when he came out he had more support from his criminal 'family'. Word got out that he was trustworthy, helping him hop back into business easily and successfully. Her mother was all the more attached to him and would question him constantly, strange questions, keeping a close eye on him to ensure it wouldn't happen again - getting caught. She didn't object to his career choices. Meanwhile, at the age of thirteen, Cora had become overly mature and secretive. She was no longer the cheery teenager she once was, it became her mask, because nothing seemed right anymore. She felt as though her life had been covered by a sticky treacle infested with deceased insects and creatures. Sometimes, she worried it would cover her too.

Within her core, she strived to be many things: kind, pure, admirable. Her aspiration led her to getting accepted into university, and most importantly, enrolling as an undergraduate in social work. To become a social worker would mean that she could get paid for doing good, both seemed very appealing to her. But, this wasn't always her dream: as a young girl she wished to be an artist and was surprisingly talented, even at a young age. It was the reality that hit her as a teenager that nudged her towards the aim of helping others, for she had endured many hopeless situations, internally screaming for help but no one saved her. Children shouldn't be exposed to the life of crime. Especially not because of their parents.

To go to university and to become financially independent, Cora needed money. Her parents offered her a great amount but she refused. She wanted to earn it and make honest money. Jokingly, her father suggested she worked for him. Her heart wrenched at his joke, his plagued career made her uncomfortable and for him to oh-so-easily suggest she aid him with his illegal activities, meant that he was oblivious to her pain. They couldn't see how much it bothered her, she didn't let them either, for some reason she expected them to read her mind or understand by simply looking at her: her parents didn't possess such powers.

Her mother whispered in his ear and his smile grew.

"How about being a barmaid ? You're old enough, you have great people skills. Plus, the owner is a good friend of ours" Cora's brow rose at her fathers idea, it seemed perfect.

Too perfect.

"The catch is, the place is just a little -" Her father and mother exchanged a certain look.

"- its a little different, you could say. See, Richard is the owner as you know already. He has some friends that do some not-so-legal things there. Most people that go there are regulars and the bar is like a sanctuary where they're free to do whatever -" Her mother cut him off. Discussions on crime became a normality within their household yet Cora still felt her gut drop each time she would hear them mention anything of the sort.

Richard was her Dad's old friend, he was like an uncle to her as he was always around throughout her upbringing. Cora's heart shattered when she found out about her Dad's hidden life, not only was he hiding his own darkness from her, but the darkness of those he surrounded himself with. Nevertheless, Richard helped Cora and her mother during her father's incarceration, so she couldn't posses any hate for him.

"- theyre mostly nice people. I go once in a while and your mother came a couple times too. You'd be safe, you know that both Richard and I would make sure of it." Her father concluded. Both her parents seemed to be oblivious to any issue with her working in a bar full of convicts.

This was the sticky, black treacle that worried her. She already held so much guilt by not turning in her father to the authorities after finding out about his job, so would working in a place that allows such behaviour to take place, make her an accomplice. Would it make me a criminal ? She pondered.

In that moment, sat at the dinner table whilst playing with her fork and the peas on her plate, Cora mumbled "I'll do it."

Unemployment plagued their small town. Cora had been searching and visiting shops and businesses religiously with no luck, so it was ironic when the first job option she receives causes her to push aside her morals. She reminded herself that she wasn't a criminal for working there, she wasn't an accomplice. The money would help her pursue her career in which she would help many people.

She still felt the pit of her stomach, the racing of her thoughts and her increasing heart rate - all of which told her otherwise.

"I won't be able to take you most days, i'll be busy. You can get the bus or a taxi." My father explained whilst he drove.

"That's alright." I responded. My head was perched against the window as I looked at the buildings that we passed by: tall, expensive city buildings. My head already felt uncomfortable due to my ponytail as I was used to my long blonde hair being down most of the time, but it was part of the dress code. The dress code also included full black attire, so I decided to wear my black jeans, a tight black tee and some heeled flats to match. But, I was very grateful I wasn't expected to wear revealing clothing or a humiliating costume.

"You seem quiet. Are you nervous ?" My father asked kindly. No Dad, I'm just having an internal war with myself and my morals by taking this job. I shook my head.

"No, I'm just a little tired. School has been quite generous with the amount of homework lately." I lied gracefully.

Before I knew it, we were parked beside a tall, skinny building with an entrance that read "Goose and Gospel". From the outside it appeared like any normal, high priced bar. Focused, I struggled to see through the black tinted windows as to what the people in there looked like, but we were too far away.

"I love you. Richard will be in there waiting for you, he'll look after you." I heard my father say, assuring me. I kissed his cheek, said my goodbyes and made my way out of the car to the bar.

Upon opening the door, my senses were overwhelmed. Cigar fumes and cologne invaded my nostrils, the sound of jazz music and atmospheric chatting filled the room and lastly, the view before me was unexpected. I wasn't one to play on stereotypes but I couldn't deny that I was shocked to see a room full of well dressed men and women. No black beanies. No leather jackets with skull patches. No masks or visible weapons. Surprisingly, the place could pass as a normal high end bar to any passer by.

"Cora! Welcome." Richard smiled. He was tall, slender and utterly bald. His head gleamed like his personality, bright and memorable.

He adjusted the collar to his black shirt and ushered me to follow him behind the counter.

"We'll keep it simple today. I'll give you a tour and an overview, then you can just follow my lead and adjust to the equipment." He ordered.

And we did exactly that.

From memorising table numbers to learning the orders that common regulars at tables would have, I found myself becoming accustomed to the working environment and immersing myself into my tasks. The bar was large yet I seemed to be the only other waitress, alongside Richard of-course. My evaluation wasn't due to the fact that I felt overworked or as though I was struggling, it was simply due to the sheer size of this place and the fact that Richard definitely had the money to employ more people than just myself as a barmaid and waitress.

"How are you finding it ?" Richard asked. I turned from polishing the glasses, to his face and smiled.

"I'm enjoying it actually. I'm surprised its not insanely busy, I mean, there are a lot of people here and just two of us." I explained.

He casually made a quick glance around the room, nodding in agreement and leaned against the counter of the bar. I watched as his face dropped slightly, a more serious look was replaced.

"Employing people to work here causes me a lot of stress, usually. I've had situations where previous staff were quite vocal about our customers to other people and -" He paused with a sigh.

"- it's not great for business. Their business, my business. So when I heard that you were looking for a job I was just thinking 'Thank God', you know ?" He chuckled sheepishly.

Then it clicked.

"That's understandable. So, what days will you want me to work? I think my Dad already told you that I cant do more than two because I have to focus on school." I asked curiously.

"Don't worry Cora, I want you to put school first too. So, Wednesdays and Saturdays ?" He asked.

"Perfect -" I paused to get my notepad from the counter and wrote it down.

"- Wednesdays and Saturdays it is." I smiled back.

When on the walk to the bus stop after work. Cora rushed to call her best friend, Anaya, to tell her the news as she requested her previously to do so.

"Wednesdays and Saturdays?" She squealed.

Cora laughed at her excitement knowing exactly where this was going.

"Yes Anaya." She smiled, hugging tightly to herself with her free hand as she walked down the sidewalk.

"That's perfect! Not only can we continue our Friday tradition but you can stay sane and not have to work one hundred plus hours a week on top of school ." Anya recalled to which Cora agreed, equally in the same, excited manner.

"So, did you serve any cute guys?" Cora asked eagerly.

"A couple." I grinned.

"Waitresses and barmaids always get hit on. You are soo lucky to work in a bar and with Richard too! Any chance he needs more staff?" Anya ranted on. My heart sunk, the lying must begin again.

"He's not in need of anyone else right now, but, if he ever does I know exactly who to recommend." I stated with a cheery tone.

It was painful. Going through life having to lie continuously about minor things just because of my father, it wasn't healthy. Especially to my best friend, well, were not as close as we used to be. After everything, I struggled to be my old perky self but I had to try to be so that she wouldn't become suspicious. When I get home, to the safety of my own room I would peel off my mask that I would wear in-front of everyone and become my true self. No one had left me, no one had died yet I had this constant feeling of utter loneliness. No one knew my exact feelings and thoughts. No one could relate. I stick to writing in my journal: I let everything out without worrying of possible judgement.

Regardless, Cora rode the bus home happily: cash in her pocket and music playing in her ears. She was one step closer to getting away and pursuing her ambitions.

It drove her.

It let her live.