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Miserable Wanderer

A massive nerd dies and gets reincarnated, his excitement gets the best of him. The first words he hear are "Get to work slaves!" When he looks around and sees grotesque figures mining with oversized pickaxes his stomach drops to his colon. [Multiverse fanfic, starting in Warframe.] "Status." [Status displaying] Race: Grineer[100%] Level: 0 Status points Available: 0 Stats: Vitality: 1 Strength: 1 Agility: 1 Intellect: .3 Mastery Rank: 0 [Inventory] Strength Quote. "USELESS DISGUSTING MAGGOT FILTHY WORM WHY ARE YOU BREATHING MY AIR !"-Councilor Vay Hek The cosmos weeps at this mans fortune. A distant "FUCK MY LIFE" can be heard Cover not mine THERE WILL BE MULTIVERSE TRAVEL JUST NOT IN THE TRADITIONAL SENSE.

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86 Chs

COG: 2 : Halvo Bay

Phew.

I wipe my gloved hands off on a nearby wall, chunks of organs scraping off with a wet squelching.

Carmine pops his knuckles and rolls his neck, popping it.

"Thats the last of em."

"PRIVATES!"

The 2 pussies creep out of cover.

"Go reinforce J-2 squad you are no longer needed here."

"YES SIR!"

Finally getting rid of these fuckers.

The 2 cog soldiers run away, their tails tucked between their legs.

"What now?"

Carmine asks me, as he loads up a sawed off shotgun.

I pick up a hammerburst in put the lancer on my back, in all cog armor there are 2 visible little strips that are actually magnets wich hold your weapons, something the games never really explain but its kind of canon.

"Onyx Control this is cadet-33,.locust reinforcements have been taken care of in this block of the city what is our next move?"

"Good cadet, move back into the inner city and begin clearing locust, we will notify you of any plans. Lead at your own discretion. Onyx control out."

Welp.

Time to get some work done.

"Carmine let's roll, control said to start clearing these grubs out."

"Hell yeah brother, y'know your the first onyx I met that wasnt a douchebag."

"Thanks, I try to actually function normally."

Cocking the bolt back on the hammerburst I hold the gun up and kick a nearby door down, just 20 yards behind the pillar we were taking cover in.

"They will send reinforcements, let's give em a welcome party."

We walk up the stairs together until we hit the roof access, I open the door and take cover behind the small raised wall that's most roofs have.

"Alright now we wait for the grubbies to come to us."

Carmine nods in agreement and checks his lancer, making sure its ready to go.

---

[15 minutes later]

*stomp*

*stomp*

Here they come.

I wave my fingers to Carmine and his shoulders tense up.

I glance over the roof and see a small patrol.

A large boomer carrying a hammer and a big ass spike, those fuckers are the ones that summon seeders, the locusts anti air hollow creatures that shit out little floaties called nemecysts.

By the boomer are 2 Theron guards with torque bows and 4 drones lead about 20 yards ahead as scouts and meat shields.

"They rolled out the red carpet for us huh?"

"What the fuck are those 2 grubs?"

Carmine asks, as he takes aim with his rifle.

"Theron guards, the queens personal little soldiers, like the locust onyx guard, just as ugly at the rest of those fuckin bugs."

I aim my hammerburst at one of the theron and take a deep breath, here we go.

The trigger clicks as I pull it and a bright muzzle flash appears, the burst goes straight into the head of the royal locust and drops them to their knees, only their tougher helmet keeping them alive.

"FIRE NOW, GO GO!"

"GROUND WALKERS!"

The boomer stands and stares at it not being able to do anything because it had a fucken hammer.

The drones begin firing and the remaining theron drags their friend away but not far on my watch, 3 bursts fly from my rifle and drop the fuckers.

"NOW THIS IS GRUB KILLIN!"

Carmine fires at the drones who are scrambling to cover, taking out 2 in a quick burst of machine gun fire.

The boomer starts yelling and swinging its hammer at the air wildly.

*boom*

A nearby sniper shot blows its brains out.

*bzzt*

"J-6 we got you SO4 out."

I turn and see 3 people on another rooftop nearby, 2 in UIR armor with markzas and a cog officer with a longshot.

"Sharpshooting operators? Well thanks for the help."

*bzzt*

"Anytime."

well that was an interaction.

Looks like the open arms program Is going well.

We need all the soldiers the world can offer.

The tread down and out of the building is swift.

*bzzt*

"THIS IS COLONEL LOOMIS ALL TROOPS FALL IN TO THE CENTER OF TOWN NOW!"

*bzzt*

Looks like we got another job to do.

"Come on Clayton let's move!"

We begin sweeping the streets as fast and safely as possible, its about 2 miles to get back to the main cog base so there are sure to be locust in between.

And sure as shit 4 minutes and they are swarming the streets, its like a damn on rails shooter running past and gunning them down.

"BOOM!"

A grenade flies past my head, 3 boomers stand in the street blocking our way.

"Control were pinned down!"

"I'm sorry cadet there is nothing we can do."

Fucking government of course, let your soldiers die while hiding all the politicians.

Bastards.

"Well it was a good run."

Carmine pats me on the shoulder, bullets flying over our heads as he does so.

Shit..

"NEED SOME HELP MATES?!"

From an alley a woman with tan skin and a green bandana wielding a boom shot leads a group of 4 gears.

I must have ran a childs orphanage in a past life because my luck today is fucking insane! 2 main characters from the game showing up this early!

Sam take covers behind a car across from us, she shoots the boomshot and splats a drone.

"Damn all out."

She tosses it aside and pulls out a markza covered in blood with a bayonet shittily attached on the front by hopes and dreams.

The gears with her begin firing their lancers, giving me and Carmine time to move into a nearby gas station away from the boomers.

"COME ON GRUBS!"

Carmine throws a grenade at one of the boomers and it looks down.

"HA HAA BOO-"

*BOOM*

And then there was nothing left of it.

Ha.

"They are thinning out!"

I call to the other squad and they move forward.

My hammerburst fires and drops a drone.

But before I can continue firing bullets spin over my head, ricocheting all over the tin siding of the building.

Just sit tight and wait for them to reload.

"COME ON LOOMIS NEEDS US!"

I scream at Sam to continue firing on the enemy.

"FUCK THAT CUNT OY THESE GRUBS NEED TO DIE!"

Sam screams in rage and blows the head off of 2 drones with one well placed shot.

"3 LEFT!"

Carmine moves out of the building and hops over a traffic barrier, his chainsaw revs and finds it place snug in a locusts throat

"FUCK YEAAA DIE GRUB!"

"HAHAHAHAAAA!"

The last 2 drones run in retreat but are easier gunned down.

"All clear."

We regroup, all 7 of us.

It's like a real squad now.

Sam struts up and swishes her hair.

"Grub killer huh? That's funny."

She points at Carmine's painted armor.

"I am what I say I am that's the Carnine way."

"Hah, sure spice."

"And you? Onyx Guard.. How very impressive."

She says to me, extremely condescendingly might I add.

"A cadet."

"Oh, my bad sir."

She snarls and sneers at me.

"I am taking control here boys. You know our orders."

"Ha"

I scoff.

"Yeah right private, I'm the ranking officer here."

"Tch, whatever you bastard."

Stupid women always trying to grift me.

Anyways.

"All right J-6 Let's roll!"

We continue rushing to the center of Halvo Bay, stomping any locust in our path.

Then we arrive and it's a shit show.

"COME ON MOVE MOVE!"

Onyx guard fire from gun turrets at locust zerging the circular building.

Thet usher to us and lay down covering fire.

"CADET TAKE YOUR SQUAD INSIDE RIGHT NOW!"

An onyx guard with a blue striped insignia on his shoulders screams at me as he sprays a retro lancer.

We run into the building crumbling around us.

"Half the city is gone from that missile, and look, locust are swarming us."

"WE saved thousands!"

4 people in cuffs stand idly, Loomis screams at them.

He wipes the spit from his mouth and looks at me.

"Cadet, finally. Are you ready for an impromptu promotion, control has told me you took out a seeder convoy with just one man."

"Uh yea, me and Carmine."

"Well. Sergeant, put those skills to good use in case you didnt know all the officers are either outside or dead so see this as luck and nothing else."

I salute him and reply.

"YES SIR THANK YOU SIR."

"Ahem, I must conduct this trial. So stay by the door and dont let any more goddamn grubs in!"

I salute him again and nod.

"Come on J-6"

"Wait, J-6? Son you are the new Omega squad. The last one was killed in action approximately 15 minutes ago."

Erm ok then.

"Come on let's move!"

Baird looks at me and sneers.

"Congrats prick."

"ORDER!"

Loomis fires his revolver into the ceiling.

Me and Carmine set up on a rubble stack by the double doors, sam and the grunts get in a skein position behind us with their guns raised.

Loomis continues listening to their testimonials while the sounds of people screaming outside flood in.

They are on to Paduk so the big bad is going to be here soon.

"BOOOMM!"

The doors blow open and 3 grenadiers run in, we quickly gun them down but behind them 2 boomers run in screaming out with a war cry.

"GET DOWN!"

I wave to Sam and they all hit the floor.

Come on you bastards!

I leap from the cover and carve one up with my chainsaw, the other reaches out to grab me, I slip under him and smash my leg into his belly, causing him to kneel, from there I jam my combat knife into his eye socket.

The easiest way to deal with boomers is to get close to them, they are stupid so the second they cant just shoot anymore their brains go full tv static mode.

"WHOO DAMN SON!"

The Cole Train whoops and hollers.

"SHUTUP!"

Loomis shoots his revolver next to his feet.

"Um. Sorry. Sir. Sir."

[AN]

Stones now, or death..

Chapterly song suggestion: House Building Song - RDR2 soundtrack.