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Mindless seeking for happiness in an[other] world[s] as [Me] a goblin

A "random" depressed and borderline insane guy is killed in a home intrusion accident and got reincarnated as a goblin. If not for the fact that he's a waste he could've done better in his second life, but oh well, he failed in it too. Then why does he even have a s.t/y?.r/y? W?.h>?Y?. a?m? eh?/r.r/E? Wo? a.R..??r/. y?.y>,o? [Friend]

DaoistBadWriter · Fantaisie
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45 Chs

Goblin things.

"When can i go out"

Norn asked the old goblin.

"When you grow, you not grow yet."

The old goblin didn't bother looking at Norn.

He was busy hitting rocks with his stick.

Norn didn't find it strange, old people were like that, after all.

But could this goblin be considered old?

"How old you are"

Norn asked with interest, he wanted to guess how old a goblin could get.

"Me four winter old"

The old goblin said with a somewhat sad voice.

Four winters? Around four years then... Damn, he looks 50 already...

Does that mean that goblins had a lifespan of... Seven years? It could be so...

If this goblin knew how to count, of course. Norn wasn't sure about that.

He, however, needed at least some information about this world.

He didn't think about asking that goblin anymore, as he clearly wasn't bright in any way.

Since Norn couldn't leave the cave he decided to wait it out until he grew old enough.

He didn't know how much time was needed, but considering that he he grew from an infant to a somewhat big kid in just a day or so...

"It couldn't me more than a week" he thought.

Norn didn't know what to do in his spare time, thus he decided to abuse his knowledge to its maximum!

Since his body was growing really fast, what if he started training it?

The only problem with that plan was that he didn't know how to train properly...

His only experience with sport was in school, where he took PE classes.

As such, he decided to do the simplest thing - push-ups!

It didn't take long for him to get tired... and attract attention from older goblins...

Several of them came closer to observe Norn as he did the exercise, after he stopped one of them asked...

"What you doing"

"I push the world!"

He couldn't think of a better explanation and since those goblins weren't too far from normal human children...

He decided to pull something out of his bum and make it his answer.

Some goblins reacted strangely to what he said.

One even tried doing a push-up, however he failed miserably and feel on the floor immediately.

"You not strong to push the world!"

Norn immediately said, trying to make him angry so he would kill him.

He wasn't hell-bent on dying, but since this goblin was old he thought he could battle him if needed.

Other than that he just liked being annoying to people... well, to goblins now.

"You strong and smart!"

The older goblin, however, praised him!

Norn couldn't understand the reason behind his praise, but still lifted his head higher.

He felt great because of a praise.

"Teach us!"

Another old goblin cried out.

Norn wasn't surprised. He didn't plan it, but since they wanted him to be their leader?

Why not!?

...

Some time later the cave looked like a primitive gym for older people.

Many old goblins tried to do push-ups as Norn walked between then and hit them whenever they made mistakes.

Why was he so harsh? Why not? It was the only method he could use to make older goblins listen to him, after all.

They didn't listen to him if he simply said that they're doing something wrong, but if he hit them they tried to make up for their mistake.

As time went by and Norn felt like a god, other goblins came back...

When they saw that older goblins were doing something strange on the floor they immediately ran closer to them and started asking questions.

"What you do"

"What reason"

"New position correct"

There were many goblins, Norn counted at least 10 before there were too many.

It's not like he didn't know how to count past 10, it's just that there were too many to count properly.

Older goblins, however, didn't answer any of their questions and simply answered with:

"I push world!"

It sounded like a revolutionary slogan Norn invented. He was happy with his "achievement"

After some time Norn saw the big goblin. He carried a woman on his shoulder.

She was badly injured and looked more like a meat bag than a humanoid, but he still appreciated the view.

She was half-naked and clearly was... used already.

He, however, wasn't in a rush to try it out himself, as he knew that other goblins, especially the big one, would probably hit him for attempting it.

After all, goblins respected the strong and capable... that's what he thought, at least...

If his method worked and he became bigger than any other goblin... who would dare to tell him that he can't touch the female!?

Even if they did... he would simply hit them!

Another day came. Norn woke up on his pile as usual...

However, he immediately noticed the change...

His method worked!

His hands looked nothing like before, he resembled a person who did exercises daily now!

His hands were strong and muscular, at least those parts he could see.

To his surprise, even other parts of the body that weren't exactly used in push-ups looked better!

Without any more thinking he opened his status window!..

...

ATK: 3

DEFALL: 1

AGILITY: 3

STRENGTH: 6

ENDURANCE: 4

INTELLIGENCE: 2

MAGIC: 3

WILL: 19

SOUL: CANNOT BE READ

FATE: 1

LUCK: 9

Those stats shocked Norn! Just by doing some push-ups he raised his stats by a whole lot!

What if he did even more!?

He started thinking of other execrises he saw on the tv or other places...

He remembered a few, and immediately started doing them!

Of course, he didn't do them right as it was only an imitation of his... but it was something!

This time, however, others goblins didn't look at him too much.

Older ones were still "pushing the world" as he could see, they liked this exercise a lot...

Or did they like the meaning behind it?..

Whatever it was, Norn wasn't going to teach them anything else, it worked too well on him!

What if other goblins did complex exercises in their first days? Will they become even bigger than Norn!?

It wasn't a thing Norn wanted to see!

If he was now a goblin, he should at least enjoy things goblins enjoyed!

Women!.. That's basically all.

...

Some time later Norn stopped doing exercises, as he felt somewhat hungry now.

It was a new feeling for him, as in two previous days he didn't feel any!

He immediately tried to get out of the cave, but to his surprise none of the goblins stopped him!

He was finally free from this cave!

As he left the place he started looking around, but it was completely pointless.

He didn't know how to orient in the forest, forget about mapping the place!

He will, of course, remember some of the places, but that's the extent of it.

As he wandered around he heard some rustling in the bush near him...

He almost pissed himself from shock!

What if it was a human!? Or enemy goblin!? What should he do!?

It was too dangerous for him to fight anything, as only fighting experince he had was getting beaten in school!

As such, he tried to retreat as fast as possible!

But, after a second or so he decided to glance back, what if it wasn't dangerous at all?

To his surprise, it really wasn't.

It was just a wild piglet.

It was small and cute...

To Norn, however, it was small and tasty!

He didn't think twice before running towards it, trying to capture it alive!

He was a goblin, after all!

However, as he got closer something didn't feel right, he suddently realised that a piglet cant just appear out of nowhere...

Thus, he decided to fall back.

He looked incredibly stupid now, but it was due to his lack of knowledge... and his stupidity.

After observing the piglet for some more time, he decided to carefully get closer to it, as it didn't seem to be scared of Norn.

A minute or so later it was alrady sniffing Norn. He felt somewhat happy because of it!..

It was first meal in this world, after all!

He grabbed the piglet with his hands, it was as big as two of them combined!

The piglet screamed immediately and tried to force his way out of Norn's hands, but it was futile.

Norn didn't know how to kill it so it would stop making noise, so he decided to squish it... As hard as he could...

After crying for some more moments it was finally silent.

Norn was happy with himself! It was his first hunt!

So what if it's just a piglet!? He was sure that soon he will be hunting grown pigs!..

As he was about to start eating it, he heard strange sounds that came from the place the piglet arrived from.

It wasn't something distinct and felt like something was...

RUNNING!

Norn immediately got up and started running in an opposite direction! Piglets mom heard his cries!

He didn't even bother looking back now, as he could clearly hear that something was coming after him!

After some running he couldn't feel his legs anymore.

His whole chest felt like it was burning, but he couldn't give up.

He knew perfectly well that if he stopped he would die!

But didn't he want to die some time ago?

Well, he did, but not like that!

Norn already came up with a plan, it was stupid but it could work.

He decided to lure the pig towards the cave and make other goblins deal with it.

It they questioned him about his action... he could simply say that he didn't find any food here and decided to bring some, but couldn't beat it alone!

It was the worst and the best plan.

But did he have any other choice? Not really.

He was already close to the cave, after all. He was lucky he didn't have time to go too far from it.

As he got closer to it some goblins started screaming...

"BIG PIG COME!"

"ATTACK PIG!"

A whole army of green midgets immediately came running from the cave.

Most of them didn't even have any weapons, at best they would have a stick or two.

Yes, some of the goblins had two sticks.

Their proficiency it dual-stick combat was questionable, but they thought it looked cooled that way.

Of course, they remembered to hit their enemy with the second stick from time to time, so it wasn't completely useless...

As green midgets attacked the "BIG PIG" Norn ran in the cave.

He wasn't ready to fight it, he was too tired and... scared.

He needed some time to rest, and then, maybe, he will join his "comrades".

He didn't bother looking at whatever happened infront of the cave.

He already knew that many goblins will die because of the pig.

It wasn't that big of a deal, on the contrary, it was good for him!

If all of the goblins died he will have all of the females for himself!

And even if he died right after, at least he made some of his dreams come true!

However, his dreams weren't going to become the reality.

After a minute or so cries from the outside stopped.

Norn couldn't believe that, but goblins won almost flawlessly!

He could only see one goblin on the ground, it meant that they traded one pig for one goblin!

Were they tactics or something like that!? How is that even possible!?

Norn felt sad that he couldn't see stats of other goblins, maybe then he would have his answer...

...

Nothing happened after he thought about it.

He wanted to see if any of his needs came true, since when he had such a thought previously he was given a skill.

Now, however, it didn't exactly happen.

He felt somewhat bad because of it.

It meant that he couldn't get any cheat skills just for existing!

It was unfair! He was born as a damn goblin, where is his cheat as compensation for that!?

As Norn was silently crying on his pile of dry plants the big goblin came closer...

"You get pig here"

Norn didn't know if it was a question or not, since his voice didn't have any intonation that would indicate so.

"I get pig here, so"

He answered in the same manner. He wasn't afraid of the big goblin as he was a tad bit smaller than he was now.

One more day and he will be the big goblin in the tribe!

"You good, we need food. You take meat first!"

The big goblin praised Norn.

He felt strange because of that.

It was just an accident, yet the big goblin, who seemed crude and barbaric, praised him?..

He wasn't praised in his previous life that much.

Of course, when he was a kid it did happen sometimes, but in his latter years?..

He didn't even know what to feel anymore.

Those goblins were kind to him for no seemingly no reason!

It was a good thing, right?..

Norn decided to listen to the big goblin and go take some meat from the pig.

He didn't think too much about it as he simply ripped off one of its legs.

It was much easier than he thougth it would be, it surprised him.

He thought that he'll need to try really hard to pull it off...

However, it wasn't much harder than taking a leg out of a cooked chicken body.

Was it all due to his strength stat?

If 6 points in strength made him so strong... What if it was 6000!? Would he be able to destroy mountains with his fist!?

However, as he started dreaming some of the gobling rushed him to go away, as he already took his part.

He didn't think too much about it as they were completely right.

Why wouldn't he do that? Those goblins were kind to him after all.

He didn't even want to kill them anymore.

As he got back on his pile he thought about something strange...

Why did his status window have a "Magic" stat?

Could he try doing magic or something like that?

It would be great, since he wasn't a fan of eating a raw pig leg!

...

After some pretending to know what he's doing he stopped.

It was too hard.

To his surprise, chanting some bullshit words like "Oh might God of Fire, help me burn down my enemies!" didn't work.

As such, he decided to stop looking like a complete idiot even to goblins and tried to make fire on his own...

He failed miserably.

It wasn't as easy as he initially thought!

However, he didn't give up...

"You know how make fire"

He asked one of the older goblins nearby.

"Make fire?"

It seemed that the goblin knew what fire meant! It was a good sign!

"You too young for fire! When grow then fire!"

However, his next line made Norn think. What did he even mean by that?...