A Royal Pain

After the Amalga Gela incident, and after no shortage of pestering from Zaine and Rebecca. Luka began teaching the pair magic and swordsmanship from time to time in between shifts in the Inventory.

"Lukaaaaa teach me swordsmanship!" Rebecca demanded.

"Um…boss….please teach me magic!" Zaine asked, under his breath.

"Damn shut uuuup, "Luka shouted, irritated. "You're supposed to be working you damn parasites. You're lucky I'm even teaching you ." Luka had no interest in their antics and got straight to his favourite pastime, counting money.

Viktor was stacking shelves as he said "Yeah it's best not to pester the man, he may give you a trial by fire or something"

Suddenly a trumpet began playing a royal fanfare, which Luka didn't appreciate in the slightest, more did the rest of the Inventory crew. The trumpet was being played by a man dressed in a royal guard uniform, consisting of a red suit with a lot of frills.

"What the? Where did this creep come from?"Luka wondered "Hey jackass! I just opened and it's too early for this shit! And your trumpet sounds like a dying horse giving birth! Get off my damn property!"

Luka remained ignored by the trumpeter until his piece was finished. He then pulled out a scroll and began to read from it.

"Hear ye! Hear ye! The Duke of the Westona region of the Lichtwelt Kingdom, Sir Billiford Jonathan Bartelby Rigsmann of the Rigsmann estate has arrived!" The trumpeter bellowed before a red carpet rolled all the way to the front desk of the shop, much to the confusion of the others. Then entered a tall man with green, long hair and regal attire, walking down the previously laid carpet displaying an aura of narcissism powerful enough to even rival the egotistical likes of Luka.

"O-o-oh crap! Everybody! Bow now!" Zaine stuttered as the employees took a knee. Everyone was bowed, or at least, all except for Luka, who somehow couldn't read the room.

"Ugh," the manager scoffed. "Walking down a red carpet, in my shop like he owns the place or something. Who the hell does he think he is?"

"Uuuuuh Luka…" Rebecca said, nervously. "Do you… know who that is?"

"I dunno, some big shot?" Luka said back. "Am I supposed to care or something?"

"You probably should" Rebecca stated. "That's the Duke of Westona. He basically had authority over the whole region"

"Who cares? My only loyalty is money. This guy can authority himself for all I care" Luka said, dismissively, prompting an eye roll from Rebecca.

"Greetings, commoners," Billiford said, in an egotistical voice. "I'm sure you're all delighted to be in my presence tod-"

In aid of all effrontery, Luka interrupts the duke. "Good Morning! Judging from your irritable friends quote unquote 'trumpet playing' and your quite frankly ridiculous attire, I regret to say you're a bit early…. The circus is in town next week" Luka said, with a condescending smirk, agitating his employees. The clear-as-day difference in social standings was as important to Luka as practically everything else not involving money to him: it wasn't.

The nobleman scoffed. "I'll let that comment slide as am in a good mood and sympathetic to the fact that your commoner brain, or lack thereof, makes you unable to comprehend who you're talking to" Billiford retorted. That sentence alone allowed the noble to make his mark in history as the first person to stand on an equal level of disrespectfulness to Luka, a feat accomplished by no one else. "That aside, do you have any intention of bowing your head?"

"Do you have any intention of paying me to do so?" Luka responded, as though he was trying to make a statement of superiority in the art of audacity.

The duke was taken aback. But after returning to their senses, he decided to take out a single silver coin and flick it in his direction. Luka is a relatively wealthy man. He may not be the richest (yet) but he has no shortage of money, especially not in silver of all things. That being said, it would be ridiculous to believe that he would ever take orders from this man for such a measly fee.

He caught the coin just before it hit the ground, before seamlessly landing in a bowing pose, leaving everyone present in shock. He can indeed be bought for one silver. Luka Randz is absolutely shameless.

"Your nobleness" he said as he got on one knee.

"Heh. That's more like it" the nobleman said. "Anyway, I've spent too much time digressing from the point of my visit. I've been assigned to be a messenger for the king"

"The king!" The three employees said.

"Yes. Get over it" Luka said back.

"Anyway…" Billiford said after the interruption "the king invites you, Mr Luka Randz of The Sacred Inventory, and those associated with you, to have an audience with him at noon toda-"

"I'll stop you right there" Luka interrupted, typically. "Hate to say it, but that's lunch. Lemme take a look at my calendar…" Luka then pulls out his calendar from his coat pocket while the others watch in awkward silence. "I see. I can squeeze in this royal whatchamacallit at 12:45. That cool?"

"You dare reschedule an audience with the king?! Just who do you think you are?! He is your ruler!" Billiford shouted in disbelief.

"Huuuuuh?" Luka groaned. "You guys are the ones who asked for my presence. I'll be there when it fits my schedule. Do you need me to teach you how an invitation works or something?"

The employees and the trumpeter all stood on silence with their jaws hanging in disbelief of this man's total inability to grasp the concept of this man being completely careless in the face of an overwhelming difference in social standing.

"Hmph" the noble scoffed "to think you'd miss the chance on making mone-"

"Oh if I'm making money then I'll be there whenever" Luka interrupted again. His shamelessness truly knows no bounds.

"Oh." Billiford said, confused. "In any case, we will see you by noon, and no later" the Duke and his trumpeter then left the shop.

"Well, looks like we're getting the royal treatment, huh boss?" Viktor asked.

"Ugh. I'm not one for all these meetings and stuff, and I've never been any real fan of all that blue blood, regal shit." Luka said in an annoyed tone. "If anything, this is gonna be a Royal pain in the ass. Whatever, let's get this over with"

It was noon, and the Inventory Quartet arrived at Origionia Palace, the main castle of the royal family.

Zaine was quickly using magic to iron creases out of his cloak, Rebecca was checking if her hair was good and Victor was combing his hair. As for Luka, he stood there, impatiently waiting for the gate to open.

"This guy took time out of my busy schedule and is making me wait? Who does he think he is? Some kind of King?" Luka said, irritated.

"Uuuuh actually" Zaine responded. "He is"

"Shut up" Luka demanded. Zaine obeyed, although he looked like he was holding back tears.

The duke then appeared as the gate opened.

"Right this way, the king will see you now" Billiford guided.

"Ugh, took you long enough" Luka responded. "….Also what was your name again?"

Billiford was taken aback before saying "how could you forget my name? It's Billiford Jona-"

"Wait. Nevermind. I just remembered I don't really care" Luka responded with all audacity.

Billiford wanted to scream at him, but reluctantly led them to the throne room, where the king was seated.

"Greetings. I am Augustus Regalia Maximilian-" the king said, before being interrupted by Luka.

"Let's keep it brief. I don't need to hear the 5 page essay you call a name" Luka said, leaving everyone in the room dumbfounded.

"Insolence!" A bystander said.

"Oh shut up" Luka responded. "No one asked for your input, nobody"

"Silence!" The king shouted, before looking Luka dead in the eyes. He then scoffed in disappointment. "So this is the so-called prodigy Luka Randz? Nonsense!"

"Oh brother, here we go with this shit." Luka said as he rolled his eyes, gathering more negative reactions from the bystanders.

"People far and wide believed that you'd be the legendary hero. such a gifted warrior, reduced to a mere merchant. How the mighty have fallen." The king insulted, causing the laughter of the audience.

"Considering how often you sit on that big ass chair of yours, someone would believe you fallen and can't get up, your 'majesty'~" Luka said with an arrogant smile.

"Lock him up!" "Execute him!" "Hang him!" We're some of the many things the audience members were saying.

"Can the peanut gallery please be quiet, I can only deal with one annoying voice at a time." Luka scoffed.

"You could've been great! How could you abandon humanity when they needed you?" The king questioned.

"It's simple really." Luka said. "There's no money in heroing. Why would I risk my life for humanity with such little return. Doesn't make much sense does it? And I couldn't care less about some demon king. Besides, I don't owe the oh-so-great humanity a damn thing. Not you. Not this kingdom. Or any of the other four great human kingdoms for that matter. My loyalties lie with money and money alone. Everything else is just noise. That's all there is to it. If people can't understand that much, that's their own damn problem" It went without saying that the insults from the audience got louder.

The king grew angry and said "Ridiculous! You could abandon your people for something like money?!"

Luka rolled his eyes while doing the talking movement with his hands as a way to mock the king. "I'm hearing a whole lot of gums flapping" Luka said "but no one in this room has gone and fought any demon kings, have they? Not even the ever so mighty king himself. Why should I care about the words of a pompous idiot who sits in his big castle and sends a fresh-out-of-school girl to fight humanity's battles? What a riot! Why would I care what you th-"

"That's enough!" A lady said as an echoing slap spud filled the room. This sound was formed by something hitting Luka's face.

"Ouchie…" Luka said, sarcastically. He took the thing off of his face only to find it was a glove, thrown by a fair maiden, clad in armour. She had long, luscious, purple hair and blue eyes, as well as fair skin. She was the princess of The Gran Kingdom and Commander of the Royal Knights: Lucia Regalia Maximilian Gran.

The audience fell deathly silent. When a knight or other such role throws their glove at an individual, the knight challenges the person to a duel, with the honour of both parties on the line. And in the throne room while the monarch is present, it has an even greater implication.

"Luka Randz!" Lucia shouted authoritatively. "I, Lucia Regalia Maximilian Gran, challenge you to a duel before the throne!"

The audience and the three employees gasp.

Luka starts wiping his face before Lucia speaks again.

"Incase you're unaware, a duel is where the honour of tw-"

"Yeah yeah, honour of two warriors on the line, duel till the other surrenders, if you refuse you have no honour and yada yada yada. You sure love the sound of your own voice, huh?" Luka said with his typical smile, much to Lucia's annoyance. "Well that's good …cus I had no honour anyway~!"

The audience all looked in shock as he said that, while the audience employees all had the same thought: "well that was obvious"

Luka threw the glove back to her and said, "that being said, I respectfully decli-"

For once, Luka was the one being interrupted, rather than the other way round.

"Not so fast!" the king exclaimed, grinning. In a duel before the throne, the monarch present can set a punishment for the loser!"

Luka groaned in annoyance. "Ugh. What a drag." He said. "Alright, your highness, what do you want?"

"If Luka Randz forfeits or loses, he must relinquish the Sacred Inventory! In addition, he must join the hero's party!"

The employees were in shock.

"This is bad!" Zaine shouted. "B-b-boss? What'll we do?!"

Luka grumbled "if this isn't a royal pain then I don't know what is". He said, angrily. He then calmed himself down before looking the king jn the eye with an arrogant look. "You invite me here out of my busy schedule, disrespect my good name, then have the audacity to threaten me? Alrighty then. If that's the game you wanna play, I'll play by your stupid rules. However…"

He then looks at Lucia, who's confused as to why he's looking at her.

"Are you sure you want to do this, girl?" Luka asked.

Lucia chuckled. "What's the problem? Don't want to hit a girl"

Luka was silent for a moment before laughing maniacally, much to Lucia's confusion. He then began to speak after he calmed down. No no no. In fact, quite the contrary" Luka then took a more serious tone. "I'm saying that those corny principles aren't in the cards in a fight against me. However, I'm not a heartless monster, so I'll give you one chance to forfeit"

Needless to say, no one was buying the 'im not a heartless monster' line.

"You think I'd forfeit?" Lucia said, confidently. "I'm fighting for the honour of the royal family and the royal knights! The same honour you so brazenly disregarded! You think you can just come into this place, make a mockery of us and just go unopposed? Think again! I, Lucia Regalia Maximilian Gran, show you the consequences of trifling with the King!"

Luka was taunting her with the talking mouth band movement again. "Yap yap yap. Give it a damn break already. Time is money and I sure as hell don't have the time for all this" Luka mocked. "Let's just get this chore over with"

"Indeed" Lucia said in agreement. "So allow me to set the stage for you defeat"

As she said that, a large magic circle opened, as large as the floor of the room.

"Greater spacial magic: partition area!" Lucia shouted as a barrier filled the throne room.

Greater spacial magic: partition area is an advanced spacial magic spell that separates an area from the actual material plane, effectively creating a subspace identical in composition to the area within the barrier. This allows the changing of the area within the barrier as much as the user wishes, while ensuring the changes will 'reverse' once the spell is deactivated.

She then followed that up with: "Terraforming magic: flower garden"

Terraforming magic is a complex fusion magic that can take on many forms, flower garden being a fusion of earth and vegetation magic. This allows her to change the area inside her spacial magic into a flower garden, giving the two more space to fight. Again, since this is used in tandem with partition area, The actual throne room that is still in the material plain remains unaffected.

"Hm… using spacial and terraforming magic to make a large area in a smaller one… yeah you're not slick with that reference" Luka said, despite Lucia not knowing what he meant,

"Strength booster: 100, speed booster: 100, magic booster: 100" Lucia chanted.

Booster skills allow a person to multiply the power of an attribute for themselves or their allies by a certain number of times, in this case: 100 times her already high strength, speed and magic prowess. This got the king in a good mood.

"Now witness, Luka Randz. This is the power of someone on par with the hero herself!" The King shouted. "The duel may now begin!"

Lucia wasted no time sprinting towards Luka and sending a magic infused sword attack at him. Luka, however, dodged this easily, which surprised Lucia. She launched more sword strikes in rapid succession, all of which dodged by Luka, who was enjoying frolicking through the flowers in the process.

"How is this possible" Lucia thought. "I have 100 times speed and he's dodging it like it's nothing?"

"Stand still you rat!" She exclaimed. But her plea fell on deaf ears.

Luka jumped up and landed on the tip of her sword.

"Well excuuuse me princess~" Luka said as he laughed.

Lucia, irritated, flung him off. Then while he was in mid air, she launched an attack. "Sword magic: blade of 100 miles!" She exclaimed as her blade began to increase in length, aimed to stab Luka in the heart.

"Shinzo?!" Luka said, jokingly.

Luka then used a slight bit of wind magic to push himself just out of the attack's trajectory, before making a three-point landing just for the fun of it.

"I hate to say it, but he did stick that landing though" a bystander said.

Lucia grew angrier. Then managed to conjure 50 magic circles.

"Multicast!" She shouted as she fired multiple beams of various spells simultaneously.

Luka then put his hand up before chanting "weapon creation magic: fly swatter" followed by "Enchant with skills: Durability, counter".

He then proceeds to use the fly swatter to smack away all of the beams as an even higher speed than they were flying towards him. Allowing him to get out of the situation unscathed. However, one of the attacks knocked the swatter out of his hand.

"Oh" he said. But while he was saying that, right beside him was Lucia in a position almost identical to a batto style quick draw stance. As the princess, Lucia, prepared her Ultimate sword draw attack in the hopes of defeating Luka, she vowed to win for her honour.

"Ultimate Sword Magic: Oblivion sword!"

Everyone looked in shock as Luka not only caught the sword with one, bare hand, but went further and broke it in half.

Lucia was about to shout at him before Luka put his finger on her lip. Lucia was caught of guard by this then Luka whispered in her ear: "bye bye~"

Luke them said "strenght limiter: 1000" before flicking her cheek, sending her tumbling at high speed across the field. By the time she stopped, she was out cold. In addition, her spacial magic and terraforming both wore off. Everyone looked in silence as the princess of the kingdom was on the floor, defeated and unconscious.

"Oof" Luka said. "In hindsight, I probably should've limited by about 5000 instead. Whoopsies~!" The throne room remained silent.

"Anywho, guess I win. Anyway, the day's still young and there's money to make so me and my stooges will be heading out. Later"

"Execute him!" The king exclaimed. "Kill this treasonous creature at once!"

The Royal Knights had surrounded Luka with the employees looking in horror.

"Sorry, but were you guys asleep during the fight or something? I just beat your commander. You don't have a chance and I know damn well you guys aren't paid enough to deal with all this" Luka said in an attempt to reason with the knights.

"To be honest, he's right" a knight said.

"You think you can attack my daughter and leave this place alive? Guards! Kill him now!"

The knights start preparing spells, aiming at Luka.

"Geez Louise, this is annoying" Luka said. "Alright, I've played your game and won, now we're playing my game. Level 1. Regicide."

The employees look in fear, knowing he might actually be angry enough to do it.

"Wait! Don't!" They all cry before someone steps in.

"Guards! That's enough!" Said Lucia.

"Lucia, what is the meaning of this!" The king questioned.

"He won the duel fairly and honestly. He doesn't deserve to be excecuted" she said. "Besides that…."

Her face turns red and she starts looking embarrassed, confusing everyone in the room.

"Father… I think I love him~!" She shouted while giggling to herself.

Everyone started shouting in confusion

Luka simply raised an eyebrow.

"Huh? what is this lady babbling about?" Luka asked one of the knights.

"To be frank with you, Sir" the knight responded. "Your guess is as good as mine"

"Nonsense! His execution continu-" the king says, then interrupted by Lucia.

"If you execute him, I'll never forgive you!" Lucia responded.

The king grew frustrated before calming down and reluctantly saying "fine. Whatever makes you happy. Luka Randz will not be executed"

"Good. I was about to cut your head off!" Luka said, relieved

"What?" Said the king.

"What?" Luka responded.

"Anyway screw this noise, we're out of here. Let's go guys"

The Inventory crew then left the building and went back to the shop. As they were walking back, Viktor asked a question to Luka.

"Wait. So why did the King even bring you there in the first place"

"It was probably all a plan to have me join the hero party. But it's cool. Alls well that ends well or something like tha-" Luka paused after seeing a familiar face at his shop's front door: Lucia.

"Good afternoon, darling~" she said.

The four were silent for a second.

"Who?" Luka asked.

"You silly~! I've decided I want to work in your shop too, so I can always be close to you forever and ever and ever and ever and.."

She kept repeating 'and ever' like a broken record.

"Ugh" Luka said. "I hate the needy girls"

Luka's face then lit up with realisation.

"Waaait. If the princess works here, she's one of the most famous people in the kingdom, that and she's got a pretty face. She's the perfect thing to pull in customers." He said before cackling manically and rubbing his hands together like a fruit fly.

"Luka, you truly are as bad as they come" Rebecca said.

"Oh stop iiiit~ with that kind of flattery you might just trick me into giving you a raise~" Luka responded.

"Anyway.. Lucia was it? Welcome aboard. As for the whole relationship thing, we're gonna have to talk on a down payment first".

And with that, The Sacred Inventory had a more regal touch in the form of new employee: Princess Lucia, who will join Luka and the others in the many other fun and possibly dangerous adventures that come with becoming the greatest shop owner in the world!