A Death In The Family

It had started like any other day. Absolutely monotonous. Snow had packed up to my front door, 25 minutes of carefully removing the snow from the entrance had made me late for work…..again.

I had worked at foot locker for 2 years now. Selling Jordan's, Forces even Fila sometimes. Day in and day out…I had no friends, which was something I was grateful for. They'd just talk and talk and talk somemore.

'My parents just died last night!' Ok..and? What am I supposed to do? Problems involving people I didn't care about made me not care. For a while I thought of myself as a Psychopath, that however fell short quick, when I realized I never tortured animals or peed the bed for any extended period of time.

Plus fire wasn't really my thing. I do realize my lack of empathy but….why is that? Sociopath? I thought sociopaths have to go through some kind of trauma. I had a pretty normal childhood.

Anyway, peoples problems didn't connect to me very well. And while I could've maybe tried to 'fit in' as a psychopath would, again…..I couldn't care less.

Plus…I liked to say 'No'….ALOT! No is my favorite word, its just so fun. Like if someone invited me out, alot of people would just make up an excuse or something, but me?

"Nah." And then hang up. See? Truly beautiful.

Once again off topic. The point I was getting to was that my life was chill, until it wasn't.

"You died."

"Huh"

"…You died."

I look around for the camera's, but I only see a void. Abstract black painted over a abyss.

"How?"

"…Y-Your...…Nuts exploded."

I beg your pardon.

....I beg your pardon.

"Did you just say my nuts exploded?"

"Yes, they just….combusted."

A deep sadness engulfs me.

'Thats how I died? I lived 19 years = 228 months = 991 weeks = 6939 days = 166,554 hours to die by my nuts exploding.'

"Bro….my nuts? Why my nuts?"

"Couldn't tell you, but hey! I atleast got some good news." Just now I notice the….mans features? He just looks like a dude made from the galaxy. A galaxy dude.

"What is it?" I ask a little curious. Maybe heaven? That would be dope.

"You get reincarnated or transmigrated, one of those." A rush of joy flows through my dead veins but I stomp it out immediately.

"Where? Why?"

"Marvel and, because…your nuts exploded."

A couple minutes of silence stretch between us as I ponder my opportunity.

'Marvel is a dangerous world. I'd need something to keep me safe.'

"Powers?" Hopefully yes, I'd hate to be one of those people in a fanfic that have to do a bunch of serum taking and testing, that would be sucky.

"Yep, just let me spin the wheel." At his words a colorful gacha wheel appears out of nowhere.

"Wow, way to represent." I say at the sight of his rainbow wheel.

He ignores me as he spins the wheel, my eyes aren't godly enough to somehow read what they all say, as he spent it impossibly fast, perhaps he was trying to get rid of me.

Eventually it landed on…'Hercules Method.' I was a little surprised but not to much. Pretty solid if I do say so myself.

"Wait! Can I ask for something?"

He motions me to get on with it.

"Can I get mental shields? That would be very cash money of you. Also no copying my powers."

I see him ponder it and then nod.

"BYE!" He launches me into a void.