Chapter 18; Just assume I'm dead...
"Why? Feng Ying Long... Where were you when I needed you the most? Where were you when I was forcefully sent abroad? You have no right to ask me why, We were kids then and now we are all grown-ups..." She coldly retorted back, she wanted to spare him but she was exhausted from the day with so many things happening at once.
Feng Ying Xie was surprised to hear her words, did this also indicate that they knew each other since they were young? It didn't settle well with him... He wasn't closer to his sons in their early ages because he was occupied with studies and nurturing his career.
"Su You Qing, I wanted to come... I truly wanted... I wanted to but..." Feng Ying Long muttered regretfully as he lost words to speak out, he didn't want to be sincere about whatever had transpired then but he felt, he didn't deserve all this blame.
"Hahaha, you want to say that, you wanted to come but you were prevented? Feng Ying Long, you should know, the girl you knew years ago had died at the airport at that point... She will never come back... You broke your promises...." Yes, she had liked him and promised each other to be together until they grew old but he disappeared on her when she needed him the most.
"Su You Qing, I didn't have the powers to, can't you understand me, I really wanted to come but I had gotten into an accident and I couldn't..." Feng Ying Long strode forward approaching Su You Qing who stood there gazing at him coldly.
She might have loved him at the moment, but now, she no longer have the luxury of falling in love, she was already a walking threat.
"It's good that you didn't have the capabilities, it's already too late, we can't rectify anything, you should have searched for me, but you never took that step, you just had to request the Su family to contact me now, but you have no idea where I have been for the past ten years.... Ten years Feng Ying Long... " Her eyes no longer held any warmth..she was cold and fierce.
Feng Ying Long who had gotten closer, eyed her with tears in his eyes. She no longer gazed at him with those childhood, innocent eyes.
She finally let go of her anger and frustrations, she could still recall turning her neck to the back every single second just expecting to see him coming through the entrance door to get her, but no... She was even shown pictures of him and Su Mei playing together and attending a function all dressed up.
How dare he say he tried? How dare he say he wanted to? how dare he try to blame her? Where was he?
" You have been really wanting to tell me all these words, Su You Qing, right? I'm a human being, give me just one chance... I was powerless and a kid back then..." He went down on his knees begging, he didn't know what he would do if he lost her for the second time.
Whenever he recalls that he lost her once, he didn't dare think the kind of pain he would have to bare.
"Feng Ying Long, you all pushed me to this hell hole, I will spare you for the sake of our past relationship, but stay away from me... I will never be free... Neither my body nor my soul... I just have a short period of time... So please, stay away... I promise to spare you..." She bent over and whispered across his ear, he needed to hear it and move on... It was for his safety too.
"Su You Qing..." Feng Ying Long eyed her with his watering eyes, his entire body trembled nonstop.. what did she mean by hell hole? What could have happened to her abroad? What did she go through?
He immediately held her neck pulling her closer to his face and gazing into those ocean blue eyes that were displaying all kinds of emotions, "Su You Qing, tell me, I might have a solution or we can think of a solution together!" He tried to calm down but he already understood it wasn't a simple matter from the look of her eyes.
"Feng Ying Long, cherish the memories we had back then, we will never have them again forever in the future... And I'm not coming back... Just assume I'm dead... It will be easier and in all sense, either way, it will happen soon..." She warmly eyed him, she might have been disappointed and frustrated but still, he was part of her childhood which made it more sweet and memorable.
"Why Su You Qing? I'm grown now..." He hated the feeling of being powerless and being treated as a child, he was capable of deciding things now.