Chapter 36.1

About Gundamurra,' he went on, his voice dropping to the soft deep timbre that invariably stirred an emotional response in his songs. 'They could take it on board, accept it, appreciate it, live with it.'

But they didn't live here, Megan corrected in her mind.

Their lives were centred in the city.

He placed the king back on the chess table, standing it upright, nodding to it as though in respect, then swinging around to face her with a rueful little smile. 'The companions I've had from time to time were happy to share Johnny Charm's life, but they wouldn't have wanted Johnny Ellis.'

She shook her head in confusion. 'You've lost me.' 'Oh, I lost you a long time ago, Megan,' he drawled, cocking his head to one side as he looked her over in a distant, objective appraisal. 'I think you lost yourself, as well. You do your utmost to deny that you're a woman, neutering your femininity in men's clothes, scraping back your hair…'

'That's purely practical for the work I do,' she defended hotly.

His gaze dropped to her folded arms. 'Whole body language telegraphing keep away. That guy at college sure must have done a number on you. I would have thought Patrick's daughter would have had guts enough not to be a victim, to know her own worth…'

'I do, dammit!' She flung out her arms in defiance of his reading. 'Which is why I won't be bought with a marriage proposal from you!'

'That was more a provocative thought than a proposal, Megan.' His mouth curled in sardonic humour. 'And it did provoke quite a lot, didn't it?'

She burned over how much she had revealed. He hadn't even been serious. He'd set a trap and she'd leapt right into it. The urge to return to her father's chair, regain the authority she needed, had her swinging towards it, but the realisation hit her that Johnny would despise her if she claimed that seat again in these current circumstances.

Somehow she had to snatch some initiative. Reversing direction, she rounded the desk, placing herself against the front of it, hands propped on the edge, adopting a commanding though relaxed position, and tossed out the only thing she could think of to put Johnny Ellis on his back foot.

'What if I'd said I would marry you?'

He had the nerve to grin at her, a grin she wished she could smack right off his face. Topping that irritation came his totally rocking reply, 'Then we could very well be planning a wedding.'

He didn't mean it. Of course, he didn't mean it! He was watching her, watching for a chink in her armour through which he could draw more blood. She tossed her head disdainfully and scoffed, 'You've got to be joking.'

'Am I? It wasn't so long ago that marriage was all about consolidating property.' His eyes seemed to sizzle a challenge at her as he added, 'And having heirs to it.'

Her stomach contracted at the thought of Johnny Ellis fathering her children. Her mind savagely denied any desire for a sexual connection with him and snatched at a pointedly mocking reply. 'We don't live in feudal times anymore and I would hate being stuck in a loveless marriage while my husband gallivanted around the world doing his thing.'

His eyebrows lifted in equally mocking surprise. 'I thought you'd settled on Gundamurra as the love of your life. Why would you care what your husband did as long as he provided you with a future here?'

He was twisting everything around to make the unacceptable sound reasonable. She had to end this ridiculous conversation. 'I'll make my own future,' she stated emphatically.

'Which you'll have to share with me, anyway,' he reminded her.

'Not…intimately!'

'It could be productive.'

'Oh, stop it, Johnny!' she burst out in frustration, pushing off the front of the desk and almost folding her arms again, stopping herself by clenching her hands at her sides and flaming at him, 'Don't play this stupid game with me!'

He instantly sobered. 'Not so stupid, Megan. It uncovered a prejudice you've been nursing for years. An unjust prejudice. I hope you'll now lay it aside so we can be friends.'

She didn't want to be friends with him. She wanted… 'Friends with a common purpose,' he went on. 'To save Gundamurra. It doesn't matter where I'm coming from. It doesn't matter where you're coming from. We both care about this place. So just let it be, Megan. I supply the money. You put it to good use. It's as simple as that. And what your father wanted.'

She looked at Johnny Ellis and saw a mountain of unshakeable purpose.

He wasn't going to go away until she agreed. Fighting him was futile.

Worse…it stirred up all she had to keep hidden from him.

Her father had ordained this. Her father…

A huge lump of emotion blocked her throat. Tears pricked her eyes. She jerked into action, walking around the desk again, pausing by her father's chair, her hand sliding up the worn leather of the back rest, gripping the top of its wooden frame, wanting the strength that had been embodied in this chair to seep into her. She swallowed hard and forced out the words that had to be said.

'All right. You supply the money and I'll use it however it will best serve Gundamurra. If you'll go and get Mitch now, we'll sort out the necessary financial arrangements.'

'Megan…'

The soft caress of his voice shivered down her spine. 'Please…just go.'

She heard him heave a long sigh. 'I just wanted to say…I know you consider Gundamurra as your birthright and you see me as an intruder. But in a very real sense, I was reborn here. It's home to me, too. It always will be.'

Always…

A shudder ran through her. Every muscle in her body tensed as she heard him move, relaxing only when she heard the office door being opened and shut.

Gone.

But he'd be back.

And if this was home to him, even without her father here, he might always come back. He had every right to. He owned forty-nine percent of Gundamurra. There was no escape from sharing it with him.

What if she said she would marry him?

Would he really marry her…forsaking all others…till death do they part?

A pipedream.

A stupid, stupid pipedream!

The reality was he'd go off about his business whenever it suited him—a business she couldn't share because Gundamurra needed all her time and attention—and she'd be left wondering who was sharing his life away from her.

A great marriage that would be!

But if he was unfaithful to her, she could divorce him and maybe get his share of Gundamurra in the settlement.

Dear God! She was thinking like a bitch! A horrible, nasty bitch! All because… She closed her eyes and dredged up the real truth…the truth that had been festering behind all her responses to Johnny Ellis since she'd been old enough to acknowledge the deep down craving. She wanted him to love her. Love her as the one and only woman he wanted.