CHAPTER 4 GUILTY

TROY's POV

I returned to the veranda because my guests were still there. I restrained myself from following Erica. A part of me felt guilty for my actions towards her. I clenched my fist and drank the remaining alcohol in my glass.

"It's not easy to make such a breakthrough, everyone's efforts pay off."

"Yes, it's worth it."

I sat there, seemingly uninterested, as I listened to my guests' conversation. I couldn't help but sigh deeply and dwell on my thoughts. I was irritated with myself when I recalled Erica's reaction. She must have been terribly embarrassed.

I noticed Fatima kept glancing at me, hesitating whether to approach me or not. She sensed my growing anger since I got back to the veranda and wanted to talk to me to calm me down.

I held a bottle in my hand, and I was no longer using a glass. I took two swigs of the alcohol, almost treating it like water. It had that effect on me.

"Man, don't tell me you feel sorry for her? Wasn't this your plan to make her fall for you and marry her just to expedite your revenge? This is it; you're close to succeeding. Why do you feel guilty when you see her hurt? You promised that you wouldn't fall for her. Don't waste what you've started, Troy, because it will all go to waste. Don't let your emotions take over. What about your brother? You vowed to seek revenge no matter what." Another part of my mind chimed in. 

I reached for another bottle of alcohol and kept drinking until I was thoroughly drunk. The guests had already bid their farewells and were on their way home. 

"Troy, take it easy with drinking. You'll surely have a hangover tomorrow, and it's a headache you don't want," Fatima advised me, but I didn't pay any attention to her.

Ryan signaled her to leave me alone since I was inside the house anyway. and my wife was there to take care of me. Fatima just nodded in agreement and walked out.

"Hey, buddy, we're going to leave now. You should have that conversation with Erica, don't put it off," Ryan advised before giving me a thumbs-up. He tapped my shoulder with a smile and then left, closing the door.

I finally finished at dawn. I was so drunk that I stumbled as I walked up to the bedroom.

ERICA's POV

I was startled by the loud bang of the door. I opened my eyes, and there was Troy, clearly wasted, stumbling so much that he could hardly walk straight. His eyes were bloodshot. Had they just finished? I wondered about the time; it must be early hours before morning.

He quickly approached me and abruptly removed the blanket covering  my body. Suddenly without any warning he jumped on top of me and kissed me intensely as if there is no tomorrow. My eyes widened in surprise, he even attempted to enter his tongue inside my mouth but I pressed my lips together firmly to prevent him from entering. I'm  mad at him for what he did to me. It hurts me so much thinking he humiliates me, he was my husband, he should have been the one who protects me. After all, he knew that I only had him as my family.

I tried to push him away, but his chest was as solid as a rock. I don't have enough force since he was on top of me and I bear all the weight of his body. He is still kissing me and my lips are already sore. He's drunk, that's why he's doing this. I gathered enough strength and tried my second best to push him away, and finally I succeeded.

"Troy, please let go of me!" I shouted at him. Yes, I love him, but not like this, not in this way, especially when I'm still mad at him. But he moved quickly. He grabbed my arms and held my head, then kissed me again like a hungry lion. We were both running out of breath when he finally stopped kissing me. I held my heart because of how fast it was beating. But I was startled when he pushed me away abruptly, as if he had awakened from a nightmare.  He used the back of his hand to wipe his lips, then turned around, ready to leave the room again.

"Where are you going? You're already drunk," I asked him coldly.

"None of your business," he replied. 

"Just hate me," he added.

And with that, he left the room. I just shook my head confused with his behavior. "How long will he be like this with me? What did I do wrong?" I asked myself, thinking of the possible reason.

TROY's POV

I snapped out of my thoughts about Erica and hurriedly left the room preventing myself from doing anything I might regret. She looked stunning in her nightwear, and I couldn't rely on my self-control, especially with the alcohol coursing through my body, making me increasingly hot. 

I decided to head out to the library and watched a video clip of our wedding – a simple garden wedding but she's not aware that the wedding was fake. 

I watched as I held her in my arms, and she looked genuinely happy that day. She truly believed in our relationship. 

"To all who have gathered here, witnessing one of our most special days, and to you, Erica Alcantara, I vow that we will face every trial, overcome all challenges, and resolve any misunderstandings as long as we're together. I won't let any second of our life be wasted." I recited in a heartfelt speech.

"Don't forget that, okay? I will always cherish those words in my heart and mind, and I'll remind you too if you ever forget," she replied, her eyes filled with indescribable happiness. 

"I am Troy Sandoval, and I won't forget it I promised," I replied with a smile while raising my  right hand as a sign of promise.

I continued to replay the video, desperately searching for an answer.

"You said it, man? Where is it? There should be no happiness here. You've recorded it."

Frustrated and impatient, I couldn't hear my own words on the video. I snatched the remote, turned off the TV, and angrily tossed the remote onto the floor.

"I don't care if it gets broken. I can replace it anyway." I said angrily.

I went outside and headed to the guest room where I planned to sleep. I need to take a nap, otherwise, my temper might worsen. I had a hard time falling asleep as my mind was flooded with various thoughts.

I was torn between feeling sorry for Erica and a part of me telling that she didn't deserve pity. In frustration, I kicked the small table in front of me and rubbed my face. Honestly, I didn't know what to do anymore. It felt like I was falling apart because my heart and mind were in constant disagreement.