Getting rid of the heavy emotional dirt

Upon reaching home yesterday, I had a cold shower, then a long soak in the bath to cleanse away my impurities. I thought of kicking myself out the habit as Mr. Boardmann and I did not engage in sex. Yet I felt I needed the cleanse even more than ever because it had been an emotionally heavy night. Mr. Boardmann; the said enigma was going to be the undoing of me if I were not careful. Thank God that we were all done. He had said that we were not to meet again.

One was apt to think that the conversation could have taken place in a business meeting- real business, and not the business of my current profession. The questions were difficult and bizarre, and needed prior consideration before they could be answered. Sometimes I like to forget that I was a call girl. I like to think that I was someone else. Maybe a company director too, a salesperson, a lawyer perhaps.

Although I thought he was a troubled, arrogant, ignorant character; (yes it was a mouthful, and in private I tend to go through a multitude of adjectives to describe people and things, so it really was not personal) I felt that part of his retort had been to mimic mine. Sometimes he spoke kindly, the same way that I would speak to him. I never wanted to use brash words. For the ears sake. For the quality of sound. Some words vibrated nicer into the ears. It sounded more melodious; each individual syllable having a resonance of its own.

My cleansing ritual ends with a cup of hot chocolate; triple-scooped, just the way I like it. See the contrast between cold and hot? Sometimes it was the other way round. I would have a hot shower, long soak and a cold cup of chocolate milk. In my loose, flannel pyjamas, sipping my hot/cold chocolate milk, I had never felt more at home and at ease with myself. These were the moments I enjoyed best. Solitary, but I did not feel alone. By choice, and very aware of it. It was very liberating because I was in charge of my world.

Perhaps it was the contrast between my work attire and leisure attire which made me more aware of comfort. I found that whilst figure-hugging attire with low cleavage augured well with clients, what worked best for me was actually a light, flowy cotton dress which swirled with the wind every time I turned around. I liked to see movement, therefore windy days and stormy nights were actually my kind of thing. Plus that musky saturation in the air!

I fancied pastel colours, especially in shades of lilac. Thus my call girl persona - Lila. Having decided on Lila and then googling aimlessly to see what results appeared, I found that lilac was the colour of deep spirituality and it signified the rise of consciousness. I came to live up to the colour's standards. It made me more aware of my inner self of wholeness. Suddenly I thought back of Mr. Boardmann. He just dashed into my mind and I felt a shiver through my spine. I hope that he may find peace somehow.

I was jolted (thankfully) from my thoughts of him when I saw Penelope at my picket fence. She had come for a visit, unscheduled. She could always join me for a late breakfast. I invited her in, and she asked me how it went with Mr. Boardmann. She said that Pablo noticed that I was not my usual self on the way home yesterday. He said that I seemed a little sad.