CHAPTER ONE

" Hey, nerd", Kimberly said slamming my locker shut," I've got some work for you". She reached into her bag and pulled out all her assignments, " I need these tomorrow Morning". Then she turned around and walked away. She was the meanest girl in school. A total bully and even a bigger braggart. Despite her flaws, I admired her. She was -; beautiful, confident, popular, rich and she didn't mind what people thought of her. I wish I had all she had more often than not. I watched her walking down the hall, an act that influenced a lot of head-turning and I felt bile rising in my stomach.

I turned back to my locker and opened it up again. I stood there, arranging and rearranging my books as more students stopped by to give me their assignments and paying for them. Once the hallway started clearing, I made my way towards the school's exit in lazy strides thinking of how this assignment thing started as Kim's way of pushing me around before it turned into a business. I changed my pace as I made my way to my car with my head low, trying to get as little attention as possible.

I got in and started the car and I started backing out of the parking lot. Out of instinct, I gave the school's entrance one last glance but when I watched Ethan Grants push through the doors my glance grew into a full-on stare. I was entirely convinced that everything he did will always find a way of coming off as extremely attractive. Just as I was swooning, Kimberly rushed up to him and I could tell she was flirting with him because of how she twirled her golden strands between her fingers as she laughed and stroked his arm. A loud honk from the car behind me brought me out of my trance and I turned back to the road and sped off.

When I got home, I found my mother in the kitchen already prepping for dinner. A wine glass in hand. "Hi, Mom. I'll be in my room", I said already halfway up the stairs. " Crystal! You are home. I'm making dinner", she said walking out of the kitchen and towards the staircase. "I need to go wash up and I have a lot of homework, I'll eat later," I said as I got into my bedroom and locked the door behind me.

Truth is, I felt miserable. I felt like I was the shadow of the girl I so desperately needed to be. A hollow space that people would walk in and out of whenever it suited them and I abhor it. Mother would never admit to it but I am conscious that she keeps meddling in my business because she has no one to shift that focus to.