Living in fear

The day was over, and everyone was back from their daily hustles.

I was scared of my step brother's threat so I could not share what had happened during the day with anyone.

During the night,I could not sleep,the pain was still fresh in my mind and anxiously I roamed and got lost in my head.

The following morning I decided to tell my dad what had happened before he came in ,but unfortunately nobody believed me not even my own dad. I was severely punished and warned not to tell anyone about anything.

At that very moment, I started seeing myself as a burden,asked myself so many questions but there was no one to answer any of my questions.

"Why did my mom leave me,why did she gave birth to me if she knew she won't be part of my life,does she love us?she never loved us anyway, I concluded.

Back at school,my grades dropped off completely,I was always first or second in my grades and everyone loved me including teachers,

My teachers were worried about me and one of my favorite teacher decided to call my dad to school and see what they could do to help my grades get better again but my dad didn't show up for the meeting.I started to see school pointless and the future I dreamed of I could not see it anymore.

At home there was constant quarrels with my siblings,they would commit mistakes and she would scream at me and tell me how she wished I was never born. I had it drilled into me that I was a burden and had gotten out of control. I was just a child.

Days went by weeks and I was almost forgetting about that incident where my brother almost took advantage of my innocence, and here he is at it again!! This time he almost succeeded but I overpowered him and ran away.

I was scared to tell it to anyone not even to my own dad. I was living a life of fear.on my mind I had a plan,a plan was to ran away from home go and maybe find my real mom wherever she was. I was still a child,not exposed to so many things out there but I was ready to risk.

One fine morning,my dad gave me exam money. I was to go pay at school so that I sit for 5th grade exams.in my head I knew I was already a failure and so I didn't see the need of sitting for the exams.

I got a chance to ran away since I had something in my pockets.