CH 2: Say what now?

After thoroughly cursing that fuckin Monkey for about 3 minutes, old dude from the village finally managed to get my attention again.

"Sir!" He yelled it, apparently he'd been trying to for a while.

"What?!" I whipped around and glared at him. Who the fuck was he to interrupt my cursing?

"What Monkey do you speak of?" He looked a little too excited. Now I was concerned again. I settled down and raised an eyebrow at him. Trying to decide if I should just tell him or not. I ain't ignorant. I know the Monkey Kong's legends. If he had offended these people before, I was as good as dead if I told them the whole story.

Fuck it, I'll gamble, "Sun Wukong, the goddamned Monkey King." I eyed him the whole time, watching for his reaction.

Old dude started shakin. He had this funny look on his face like he wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Hope. It was a look of hope. Shit. I know what that look means.

He's desperate.

"Please, please! Return with me to the village!" He was basic'ly hopping he was so excited. This can't be a good.

Before I could answer yes or no, old dude took off flyin again, headed towards the village. I looked at him up in the sky and just shrugged. 'I got no where else to go. Fuck it.'

I started walking towards the village.

I must've been movin to slow cause Old Dude came flyin back. He was lookin confused again. He landed in front of me.

"Senior! Come! We must hurry!" He took off flying towards the village again.

'Senior? What is this place, some Mexican fantasy world? Dude's got a shitty accent.' I just kept walkin. He'll figure I can't fly soon enough. I did walk a bit faster though.

Sure enough, bout 20 steps later Old Dude came flyin back. Now, he looked concerned.

"Senior, please, we must hurry back to the village." He was a bit calmer now, maybe he'll figure it out. He started walking with me, encouraging me to hurry. Finally, I'd had enough.

"Look man, I don't even know you. I also don't know WHY I need to hurry. Lastly, I can't fuckin fly. So why don't you tell me what's going on?" I didn't even look at him while I was speaking, just kept trudgin. He made an O face and stopped walkin, I could feel his bulging eyes lookin at my back.

He caught up after about 6 steps. Now he looked sad. I rolled my eyes and sighed. I glanced at him and asked "Wanna explain what's goin on?"

He was quiet for a few steps. Then he got this last ditch look on his face. "Our village has been the target of bandits. Their leader has stolen several of our wives and daughters. Only one has ever escaped and she's never spoken a word. She was pregnant and delivered the baby a few years ago. The Bandit leader wants to take the child and it's mother back. They are almost here."

He sounded truly dejected. I looked at the sky again.

"This girl, is she your daughter?" I asked.

He was quiet for a minute, then just nodded his head.

"What is it you expect me to do? I can't fight bandits." What the hell does he expect me to do?

"But you said the Monkey King sent you here. We've been praying to his statue for help and then you showed up, so I just knew you'd been sent to help us! Please! You MUST help us!" I stared at him wide eyed. Fuckin Monkey. He's gonna get me killed.

Right then, shit got weird. In my head.

Like there was something right on the top of my tongue, but I could spit it out. Images of a person doing Kungfu forms like those Monks in orange do. Just over and over. The thoughts got stronger and stronger. I had the sudden urge to act them out. I resisted. How fuckin weird would that be for me to just be talkin to Old Dude, sayin I don't know how to fight and then I start doin bad Kungfu. No. Hell no. I'm not doin it. I'm not-

Fuck, I'm doing Kungfu.

Without realizing it. I'd already started the forms. Old Dude looked hopeful again. Confused, but hopeful.

The thoughts were still getting stronger. I couldn't see anything, all I could see were those images in my head now. I was full on throwing punches, sweeping legs, jumping in the air spinning around and kickin. Not gonna lie. Shit was cool. Except it wasn't, cause now I couldn't say I didn't know how to fight.

Fuck.

I just know I'm gonna get pulled into some bullshit.

It was around this point that I noticed an odd sensation building up in my lower abdomen. It felt full, like I needed to fart. The sensation kept growing. Just when I thought I was gonna shit myself, without control over my actions, I crouched half-way, brought my hands to my stomachs, then took a hard half step to the right while spinning my hips and punching out with my left hand.

What happened next blew my fuckin mind.

I shit you not, gold energy shot out of my fist and exploded a rock that was 30 meters away. Ka-boom.

***********************************

In the distance.

The Monkey King sat of a cliff face, laughing to himself.

"This was so worth the time. This Jake is hilarious!" The sudden display of martial was obviously his doing. "You're not getting out of this, perhaps I should explain those thoughts I gave him..."

He pondered for a moment.

"Nah, it'll be much more entertaining to watch him stumble his way through!"

With that, the Monkey King stood up and then walked away, vanishing like smoke in the wind.