my life must been a game?

hahaha..my life must be a toy for gods,right??why??why...did I even live till now??probably because in hope of my family loving me....hahaha must been funny huh?? that's probably the most useless thing I ever hoped....

I should stop with this useless thoughts....but it must feeled great being love by your family huh??..look at those kids running around with so much joy while getting chased by their parents.... would I also be happy if my family love me???... what's the point of thinking this things when I know that it will never happen..

i watched as the kids run around the park when suddenly the ball flew at the middle of the road,a kid was about to get hit by a passing car...and I instantly run and push the kid out of the way....I don't remember much...all I know is that people surrounded me and start calling for help before I lose my consciousness

How many hours have past... maybe days..weeks.. months..or years I don't know..all I know is that I was surrounded with only darkness...I can't see anything..I felt being squished....I can't move my body...I don't even know what's going on with me...did I die??or I'm still alive??I don't know...is this perhaps after life???

After that I suddenly start to see a little light... start to follow it.... after that I don't know what happens but it feels like that light is sucking me outside...it feels great.. it feels warm..it's as if my hope have been granted...