The Beauty of Flaws (Kori Arc Part 4)

Kori's second memory continued. Kori did not speak further after the engineer had told him how humans did not view Shifites as people. He was wallowing in the anxious feeling he felt as his maintenance resumed until its end. When he was on his way home with Arcturus, he took the opportunity to ask Arcturus about the sentence that lingered in his mind.

"Arc, do you see me as a person?"

His question caused Arcturus to stop. "What makes you ask that?"

"Hailey, the lady in charge of my maintenance, told me that I shouldn't show emotions in front of anyone as no one sees Shifties as people."

Arcturus looked at Kori with a surprised countenance; his mouth slightly gaped. He seemed to be in deep thought before asking, "What do you see yourself as?"

"I see myself as…a Shiftie."

"Do you like being a Shiftie?"

It took a while for Kori to process that question. Nova could tell Shifties weren't accustomed to true self-awareness. They knew they were Shifties, but that was about it. Kori looked absolutely troubled by his question.

Do I like being a Shiftie? What does it mean to 'like being a Shiftie'? I'm just a Shiftie. Am I supposed to love myself?

He's asking if you love yourself? Sayaka asked.

What does it mean to love?

To love means to find them dear. If you love someone, you want to prioritize them above all else. Love means being able to do something for someone you cherish.

Kori tilted his head to the side. I do not understand.

How do you feel about Arcturus?

Arc is my master, but he doesn't want to be called Master. He is kind. He treats me similarly to Ariel. He is kind to Caroline and Neil. He treats his friends kindly. He is passionate about his dreams and goals. He is what I call an ideal human.

Do you feel anything when you talk or look at him?

Not really. I just take in the image of what I think is an ideal human.

Then, you should take in that image and try to feel something out of it. You'll understand what it means to love if you do that.

The troubling feeling within him grew. Why are you helping me? Shifties aren't seen as people, so why do you help me become different?

There's nothing wrong with being different. You're you. You are allowed to have your own thoughts and feelings. You are allowed to choose what you believe in. Do not let people's words deter you from what you truly want. I believe that having emotions will be beneficial for you.

Nova recalled everything that he had remembered from viewing Sayaka's memories. Sayaka knew what it was like to not live up to expectations. She had all the wisdom and knowledge to give to Kori; she was like Kori's conscience, guiding Kori towards a path he can be proud of.

"You should be proud to have someone like Sayaka guiding you to who you became."

Kori did not give an answer. Nova glanced over to check up on him; his eyes widened. Kori was shedding tears while having a straight face.

"Are you crying?"

"I'm not."

"But, you have tears trickling down from your eyes."

Confused, Kori placed a hand to his cheek. The wet substance on his finger surprised him. "Tears? I'm capable of crying?"

"I'm as surprised as you are."

"How is this even possible? I'm not human. Shifties are incapable of producing tears…"

"It's because of the Realm of Desires. In this realm, your innermost feelings are exposed. You cannot lie here; everything you feel is the truth. You are no longer in a Shiftie's vessel and have developed a soul of your own. It's not your physical body that's crying–it's your soul."

Nova felt sudden warmth surging into Kori's hand. He felt surprised by this. It was as if the realm was telling him that Kori is as human as an actual one. It was signaling him that he did not need to be so doubtful of this boy. Like Arcturus and Sayaka, he was someone with a wish; Nova could sense he had one. It was his duty to find it and grant it.

Nova's gaze fixated back on the memory; the paused memory resumed. Arcturus was worried about Kori who was unresponsive at the time. He shook his shoulder to grab his attention, to which Kori finally responded.

"Are you okay? You were spacing out." Arcturus was worried.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Maybe we should go back for another quick check-up?"

"I said I'm fine." Kori spoke with an annoyed tone, shocking both Arcturus and himself.

Kori felt an unsettling feeling within him. He couldn't comprehend what he had done. Looking at Arcturus's reaction caused him to feel uneasy. Sayaka had explained that he had felt fear and that he was afraid of Arcturus looking at him strangely.

Do not avoid it. Accept it.

I cannot comprehend 'fear'. Why is it so unsettling? Why can I feel it?

It's normal to be afraid of the unknown. However, do not reject it. It's better to accept that you are afraid.

How can you be so sure?

In a flash, Sayaka appeared before him, caressing his face. Her black hair danced against the gravity. Her gentle touch felt soothing to him. It's because I have a lot of fears myself, but I accept them to become strong. Sure, it's unsettling and unfamiliar, but that's the beauty of flaws. I'll guide you and help make sure you get used to this. Everything will be okay.

The current Kori spoke to Nova. "That was the first time I saw Sayaka's appearance. The way her hair danced in my mind and the way her gentle smile warmed my heart gave me certainty that everything was going to be okay."

Nova felt Kori's grip tightening. He didn't see much of their interactions during Sayaka's trials, but he could tell from body language alone that they had great trust and respect for one another. He knew that this memory was the reason why Kori was able to accept his emotions and be able to accept himself as well. The bond between them was strong and respectful; it reminded him of Souhait and him.

"Kori?" Arcturus looked at him with worry once again.

"Arc…"

"Are you really sure you're…fine?"

Sayaka explained to him that Arcturus being worried about him was a good thing. She then requested for him to repeat the words she would say to him. "I'm fine. Thank you for worrying about me."

Arcturus's eyes widened at his words of gratitude. A smile curled up from his lips as he placed a hand to Kori's head. "I'm glad you are fine. Let's go home. Grandma will worry if we stay out for too long."

He walked ahead. Kori just remained still. He wasn't sure why the image of Arcturus's smile lingered in his mind. It was warmer than Sayaka's smile. He still felt the warmth of his hand on his head. His hand was always warm, but it felt especially warm and soft just now. It felt fascinating. He wanted to know more about these emotions within him.

Sayaka, can you teach me everything you know about emotions? I wish to know what it's like to have them.

Sure. I'll teach you as best as I can.

Nova sensed budding determination from him. When he glanced over at Kori, he smiled. He liked what he saw compared to the beginning. The Kori in front of him was full of life and more human than an actual human. Even though he's man-made, he learned how to appreciate and what it meant to be selfless.

If only all Shifties had emotions like him…

 The memory reverted back to its dormant state in the form of a snowflake.