An Apology

Arcturus found himself staring at the sky. Was he in his Realm of Desires? When he sat up, he noticed familiar aster flowers all around him. The sight of them caused him to stand up and frantically look around. He couldn't see the cottage, but saw the back profile of a familiar golden haired figure. His eyes widened as he rushed towards him.

"Nova!"

Calling out his name caused Nova to turn around; Arcturus was locked onto the gaze of his lavender eyes. Nova looked surprised to see him, but still welcomed him with a smile. Arcturus stopped running once he got to a good distance to look at him closely.

"You're okay."

"Yes."

"Are you really okay?"

"I am."

"Then why aren't you waking up?"

"The draconic transformation is something of a last resort. Both Souhait and I have to resonate our minds and souls into this transformation for it to work. It drains a lot of our energy to the point that it only lasts for a short while. Souhait is fine, but I am exhausted. It'll take me three days to awaken."

"Three days…" Arcturus couldn't help but to worry. Would they be alright after three days? He hoped nothing bad would happen to them the longer they stayed at Constance's house; he even pondered if they would even allow him to stay for three days.

Arcturus shook his head to rid himself of his bad habit. I'm overthinking again. Everything will be alright. I'll make sure of it. That was the reason why he chose to go with Constance.

"What has happened since we fell out of the airship?" Nova asked.

They both sat down as Arcturus recalled everything that had happened from his dream of being dead to getting a fever. He did notice the increase in sadness in Nova's face as he kept rambling on; he did recall it starting when he had brought up Kori when he had talked about his dream. Once he finished his anecdote, the atmosphere between them became silent. The pristine air became murky as he noticed the sunny weather became cloudy. The aster flowers looked as if they were on the verge of wilting. This caused Arcturus to tense up; the weather in Nova's Realm of Desires correlated to his mood.

"Are you…okay?" Arcturus made sure to be careful and not pry too much.

"I'm sorry…" Nova muttered.

"It's not your fault. Why apologize?"

"It's my fault that this all happened to you. It's because of me that you had to get hurt from the fall impact. It's because of me that your ears are ringing. It's because of me that you got a fever." The more he blamed himself, the more vulnerable he became; every sentence he spewed caused him to curl up. By the time he was finished, he was hugging his knees and had buried his face into them.

"It's really not your fault at all."

"It is. Despite me being immortal, I am incredibly weak. My only great attribute is living forever. I'm not strong. I'm not brave. I get exhausted so easily too."

Arcturus felt something cold on his forehead. He looked up to see the clouds darkening and rain droplets slowly dropping. He looked back at Nova; he didn't want to see him in such a state.

"Don't apologize…"

His words were futile. Nova continued sulking. He looked as if he was the only guilty person in the world and it slowly frustrated him. Nova was blaming himself for everything that had transpired, which was false. None of the things that happened to him were his fault; they just happened.

Why can't he see that? Why can't he believe that?

The rain drops increased; it started drizzling. He became annoyed. He couldn't stand seeing Nova like this. If he was going to console him, he was going to have to do it his own way. He reached his hand out and grabbed Nova's arm. He tugged on it so that Nova was staring at him straight in the face.

He spoke sternly. "Don't apologize. You apologize when you own up to your mistakes. Mistakes means you did something wrong. While mistakes are common, you did nothing wrong. Constant apologies lose their meaning if said too frequently. That's why you shouldn't blame yourself. None of this was your fault to begin with."

It wasn't enough as Nova averted his gaze. Arcturus could tell words were futile. He thought of the next best solution. He grabbed Nova's other arm and then pulled him towards him. As soon as Nova's body touched his own, he wrapped his arm around him. He hoped this embrace would work.

"What are you doing?" He could hear Nova's confused tone.

"You looked like you needed a hug. Do you not like it?"

"...Thank you." Nova returned the embrace as he wrapped his own arms around his body and buried his face into his shoulder.

The drizzling slowly stopped. While it was still cloudy, Arcturus noticed the flowers regaining their color and strength. He started patting Nova's back rhythmically and gently.

"Nova, I want you to know something important: it's not good to wallow in regret. I know that you're immortal, so you've got your fair share of burdens, sorrows, and regrets. I cannot make them go away; I'm not conceited enough to do that. You have to make them go away on your own. I can tell from your demeanor that you never thought to have them go away because you always took in everything on your own."

He sighed. "When I went on this expedition, I promised myself to never look back. If I look back, it would mean I would regret everything and that everything I have done until now would be for naught. Looking back means I acknowledge the regrets and guilt I casted aside. It would mean I am at fault for everything that had happened until now. I don't want that. I've lost so much to keep going forward. Isn't that the same for you?" He stopped patting as Nova pulled back and gazed upon him.

Nova nodded and then pouted. "I wished to become immortal to keep on living. I want to live longer than anyone else on this planet. I have to keep on living."

Arcturus saw a small fire igniting in his eyes. "Why do you live?"

"I live to help achieve Souhait's goal. I live to see what sort of world Terrenter would become when we accomplish it. I live…" He looked down again.

"Is there more to your reason?" Arcturus wanted to know more. He felt as if this was the first time he was seeing the real Nova so he wanted to keep learning more. Nova suddenly gripped the back of his shirt tightly as he looked back up straight into Arcturus's eyes.

"I live to seek revenge against those who wronged me. Because of that, I have to keep living–longer than them…longer than anyone else…until the end of eternity."

The fire in his eyes grew. Arcturus slowly realized why Nova wanted to go to Sirius; wanting to grant the wishes of the people there was a factor, but one of the sources of his revenge was there. It was for both his and Souhait's goals.

He felt overjoyed that he finally got through to Nova. He felt as if they became closer now. Nova wanted both revenge and wishes, so that was what Arcturus would help him with. The sulking Nova was no more; what he saw was a beautiful, determined man eager to take on the world; he would be there by his side.

They both took a look at the sky as they noticed it had gotten brighter. They gave each other a sheepish grin as Nova leaned in to embrace Arcturus. He could hear him whisper words of gratitude to his ear.

Nova pulled back. "I'll see you again when I wake up."

"Yeah. I'll protect your sleeping body until then."

When Arcturus blinked, Nova was gone. When he blinked again, he was no longer in the aster field. The sky was no longer there; instead, he realized he had woken up from the soothing dream.