Strange beginnings

"So needy, damn, if I knew you wanted this much I would've not given you an option." God looked at me irritated. "Since you have your race and curses you have erabor, but this kinky mountain will be in the shire. This new erabor is matched to your races extreme height and Temperament. And the original erabor still exists and the same place.

"Have fun in your new life." Said god. Next he pushed me through a large stone door, and everything went black and cold.

"My lord, are you hurt get up." Said Altiair( captain of the royal guard).

Initializing ( god of war protocol)

7%

15%

35%

50%

68%

100%

( god of war protocol complete)

" name of kingdom?????"

I said,"Sparta"

( start up completed)

(Initialize war system )

( completed)

~ quest one ~ ( wake up you lazy fuck)

I wake up to see a tall pale man covered in plate armor with long black hair and a long beard with Viking style braids. He had pail blue eyes and a scar that went from he eye brow to his chin. "Holy shit I though you was dead, and you don't even have a heir to the throne." Said Altair, " you just fell down and I freaked out, my singing that bad."

Hahahaha ," no it wasn't you fault, I guess I stayed up to late last night dealing with affairs." I said looking at my guard.

(Quest complete)

( reward conquest of the gods)

Lighting starts to strike my mountain and the ground shakes violently. A spiral black fog appears right in front of me. My guards get into the Phalanx formation around me as we prepare for a fight. A giant chest (13ftx7ft) from the void on to the floor.

As I opened the chest I saw the blades of chaos, Zeus's spear, Poseidon's Trident, hades's claws, and the blades of exile. The chest had every item that kratos killed in Greece. I picked up the sun shield and the blades of chaos with the blade of the gods. The rest I put in my room. After I walk to my throne, I see a few people walk to me, a beautiful elf with long blonde hair blue eyes and elfish plated mail, a wizard, a hobbit, and 12 dwarves.

( quest: get married virgin)

" greetings my lord, I am Celebrían, daughter of lady Galadriel and Celeborn." The elf said," I am here to form a alliance with you and my people of Lothlórien."

"I don't see a problem of befriending the elves and helping them in any time of need." I said, "but but what kind of alliance you people need."

Celebrian said, "My mother sent me here as a marriage Proposal to you for your help saving Gil-galad."

I accepted the proposal for the lovely elf. " now since we are having a wedding feast, I'll send my new mother-in-law, the fleece of the nemean lion."

I turned to the party of 14 and asked what business they needed with me.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS, WHY DID YOU COPY ERABOR!!" Said Thorin.

"Listen here dwarf, I build this kingdom long before Durin was sucking on his mother's tit, you will show respect or you can face a drake on your own."

"You have no home, your people are scattered, and you have no army, you are nothing but a crazy dwarf demanding your a king."

Thorin went quiet and Gandalf stepped forward with a stern face. "Would you accept a quest from an old friend, how long has it been since I've stepped into this mighty hall."

"Too long dear friend, I had a room built for you yet you never use it, you always ack like your in a hurry to be somewhere."

"Hahaha maybe your right, a wizard it always where he needs to be." He said, "keeping everyone safe has a toll on my body."

"Stay, stay, after the feast and preparations I'll help deal with a foolish drake, but let start with a wedding."

The preparation took place, all of the shire showed up and the elves from lothlorien. After a few weeks of planning the wedding commenced.the weeding feast lasted 7 days with mountains of meat and greens. Gallons of wine and ale flooded the table, as everyone got too drunk to stand. After the feast I carried her in to our room. The bed was very large which surprised her. The look of glee shown on her face was priceless, the sight of the lightning dragon skull from Midgard, Took her breath away.

I pick her up and princess carried her to the bed, after gently helping her undress, I removed my robe which was fenrir's pelt. ( all the royal guards have a cloak of fenrir's pelt).

Her smooth soft skin was beyond words, her breast made my heart stop, and her lips demanded to be kissed. I start from her lips down her neck, kissing everything I can. I move to her breast which he fights to hold in her excitement, after hanging around her nipples. I kiss down her belly and stop just shy of her whispering eye. I put her thighs around my head like earmuffs and licked like my life depended on it. "HOLY FUCK, slow down I can't take it anymore, your killing me Ahahah." She moaned and scream like she was getting butchered. She started pushing her hips to my face , legs shaking, struggling to keep her hips up. After I she climaxed a few times I gave her a few minutes to rest. "Now time for the main event," I lead my meat club into her warm sheath. I slowly put it in and start working back and forth. After an hour of working her out, I blow her insides out, I try to stand up I fall flat on my ass and fall asleep

After a week of getting to know my new wife. I tell her I have to leave for her wedding gift, which she demanded to join. I get 5000 men ready to slay a dragon and protect erabor until the durinfolk arrive.

I get tyr's armor set out for the long journey and battle. I get the blades of chaos, leviathan ax, guardian shield, and since my new wife demanded to come with me, I gave her talons bow with the blade of Olympus.

I order to keep the peace and my kingdom safe, I have my most trusted official act as regent until I return with some dragon meat.

As we walk out of my territory to the lonely mountain I tell a certain dwarf, " you know there is a bounty for a certain dwarf's head from a one handed pale Uruk , who rides a white warg." After a moment of silence, all of the dwarves look at me with wide eyes full of fear. "How is he alive, I killed him at Moría." Thorin said emotionally.

After telling him, he failed to kill a certain Uruk because one can survive without a hand.