James’s trapped love

It was James Terry who worried so much about Cecilia. He couldn't get her soft, lovely tear-stained face out of his mind. He desperately tried hard to forget her, yet he couldn't help thinking about her. She was now broken-hearted because of her lover's death. Ken's death made her really hurt; he knew. He had seen the pain in her eyes that it seemed no one could console or comfort her. Was there a woman who loved a man that much like her? James thought.

And he found himself in disbelief that he worried so much about her. He had never felt for a woman like that before. The sad look on her face and the pain in her eyes made him unhappy.

In the following days, he wanted to see her if she was

all right but didn't want to disturb her privacy, either. He tried himself not to go to her house, but she was in his mind all the time, even when he was working. It was the first time in his life a woman had managed to distract him from his work.

In the evening on the third day, he headed toward her house. On the way to her house, he felt strange about himself. James knew Cecilia had captured his mind since the moment they met, even though he didn't want to admit about it. He had met a lot of women but had not been interested in any of them like he was in her now. He had been very devoted to his career and avoided some beautiful women who wanted to get involved with him. But now he found no way to avoid Cecilia, escape from her. And James found himself difficult to resist the attraction of her. Cecilia was different from other women he had ever met. Not only her beauty but her delicate heart and great love for her lover, Ken, he was impressed with.

Now he thought she needed help and someone to talk to her, to comfort her, to support her. He would do all of what she'd want him to do.

James was so emotional in anticipation of helping her, supporting her and getting a chance of being with her. He turned up his B.M.W onto the driveway to her house after Henry had opened the gate. He silenced the car engine in front of the house and got out of the car. The house seemed to be quiet as usual.

It was Mrs. Mary who opened the door. James went

inside.

"Where's she?" he asked Mrs. Mary.

"She's sleeping. But I think she's going to be awake soon. You can sit and wait here, Sir," said Mrs. Mary.

He nodded. And he was seated on the sofa in the living room, set down his briefcase on the coffee table in front of him and picked a paper up and read it. A few minutes later, Mrs. Mary offered him a glass of fresh lemonade.

"Thanks," said James. "Has she been still crying?"

"Yes. And lately, she stays up late at night. I think she hasn't been able to sleep well."

James nodded and took a deep breath with displeasure.

"Oh, Mr. Terry, I have a lot of works to do. You could wait for her as long as you want. Excuse me, please, Sir," said Mrs. Mary, leaving him alone in the living room.

James continued his reading, waiting for what seemed like an hour. And then he heard a few foot steps up on the stairs and looked up to see Cecilia descending the stairs with slow steps.

When she caught sight of his sitting in her living room, she paused in the midway down the stairs for a few moments, looking disturbed and continued her way down.

James wondered if Cecilia thought that he'd come here to invade her private world.

"It's you," she said coldly, walking up to the sofa on the opposite side of James.

"I came by to see you if you're all right," said James as

she sank into the sofa. "Are you all right now?"

Cecilia nodded. "Yes, I think I am. Quite well."

"Did you have a nice nap?"

"Um… I had. I couldn't sleep last night so I took a nap after lunch and have just woken up now."

Gazing at her, James felt his heart thumping a bit faster. To hide his feeling, he folded the paper and set it on the coffee table in front of him and shifted his gaze to the aquarium.

Cecilia looked as lovely and as innocent as a kid in her pajamas with her hair flowing over her back in soft waves.

"What can I do for you, Miss Rodney?" asked James. Cecilia stared back at him briefly. "I mean, if you need help, let me help you. I want to help you and do whatever you want. If anything you want, just name it," he said confidently.

His words made Cecilia surprised.

"What's that supposed to mean, Mr. Terry?" she asked, confused.

"It means that I just want to do anything you want or you ask me to do." James knew that he sounded like a crazy little guy but he couldn't help it. The words had just escaped from his mouth before he could stop.

Cecilia shook her head. "I don't need anything and you don't need to do anything for me," she said, perplexed.

James seemed to be amazed at her response. His face turned dark. "Well, I'm just telling you that because of my best friend's last words," he said, uneasiness in his voice, seeming to try to hide his enthusiasm. "As you know, he asked for me to help you, to support you and to do everything you want as much as I can."

"So – thank you, Mr. Terry," said Cecilia. James couldn't help but catch a hint of sarcasm in her voice. "But I don't think I need anything but him when I've lost him," she added, her voice suddenly became cracked.

Tears burned under her eyelids and filled her eyes though she tried to blink away.

James looked shocked to see the tears begin to flow down on her cheeks.

"Cecilia!" called James Terry, straightening himself up, fixing his eyes on her. She glanced up at him. "I don't want to see you cry, Cecilia. And I don't want to see you caught up in such sadness, either. Tell me what you want. I want to do anything that makes you happy," he said.

Cecilia was amazed to see that a concerned look was strangely on his face. And it seemed that it hadn't taken him long to get around to her first name.

"I want to die," said Cecilia coldly, her beautiful face darkly shadowed.

James could read her eyes; she really meant it. "Feel sad if he was alive again. And cry out loud as much as you want if he survived again. I'll also cry for you," said James with anger. "But how much you cry or how sad and heart-broken you are, he will not…return. He won't come back to you again," he lectured.

Cecilia was deadly still. She looked like a statue, her head down, biting her lower lip, tears wet on her cheeks. She felt being annoyed. Why did he lecture her like that, she thought. She'd just met him for only a few days. And she wasn't his student, she thought, fumed.

"You should be sorry to lose your time," said James. "So stop wasting time on that man who'll never be able to come back. Forget about him!" ordered James.

Astounded, Cecilia squinted at him. "Forget about him?" she repeated. "How could you say that? How could I – ?" she stammered. "It's too early for me to get over this sadness. I'll miss him many a time. Not even a day will pass without missing him. And no one can stop me from missing him and thinking about him," she said firmly.

"Sorry. I know I shouldn't have said like this. I'm sorry that I let you know about his death even when you came back here, but it was his idea, his wish, you know. And I did as he wanted me to do," said James.

"I see."

"And there are some things left that you should know about, Cecilia," he said. "As we founded the company together, he owned the half of it. And he had made over the whole of his property to you."

Cecilia's mouth dropped open.

"Has he?" asked Cecilia in disbelief.

"Yes, he has," said Terry, nodding.

Oh, God! I can't believe! Oh, Ken, thought Cecilia. She

was grateful to him; she would always be. How generous he had been!

James opened his briefcase and extracted some files of documents and set them on the coffee table and showed her.

"These are some documents that he has made over his property to you by the attorney."

Cecilia gazed at them with surprise, and didn't know what to say, awe-stricken. She swallowed with some difficulty; she felt her throat tighten suddenly. For a long moment, Cecilia couldn't form a word to thank James, she didn't know why.

James studied her for a moment and asked, "Have you arranged anything for your future? I mean what're you going to do the next coming days?

"I've planned to run my own cosmetic company."

"Oh, that's a great idea," he said. "By the way, would you like to have dinner with me?" asked James, his eyes full of hope. "I invite you warmly. I want you to feel relaxed."

"Thank you," said Cecilia. "But I don't want to go anywhere."

"Well, though you don't want to go, I want to take you with me to somewhere, someplace where you can relax," said James. "Where do you want to go? To one of the famous beaches?" he asked. Cecilia shifted her gaze away from him as if she didn't care much of what he was saying. But he persisted. "You can take your maids or one of your friends

with you as your companion, can't you?"

Cecilia shook her head. "No, I don't want to go anywhere…with you," insisted Cecilia. "If I want, I'll go by myself, not with you," she said defiantly.

His gaze fixed on her face, his eyes full of meanings that she couldn't understand, and she didn't want to know what they were, anyway.

But James said several words to her in his mind.

I'm the one who wants to be interested in a very proud woman like you, Cecilia. And in fact, I've been interested in you since Ken showed me your picture. I used to hate women but now I seemed to have changed; when I first saw your face some strange emotional waves have passed through my heart, thought James.

As he kept staring at her consumingly, she became uncomfortable. What kind of man he is, with such a bold gaze, thought Cecilia, dissatisfied. His gaze was still so penetrating he could look right through her.

Cecilia couldn't hide the look of suspect from her face. The glow in James's eyes made it difficult for her to tell if he was being honest or not.

"Have you seen a diary Ken might have left?" asked Cecilia in a strained voice.

James arched his brows. "Ken's diary?" he said, looking surprised. "No, I haven't found anything like that yet."

"I'm sure he used to write diary," said Cecilia, now gazing away with her eyes narrow, it was as if she could see him there. "I want to read about the things he'd written just before he died."

Cecilia really wanted to read this book, because, she thought, it was the only thing that could tell her about the very last days of his.

"Well, I want to help you, but I don't know about it in the least," said James.

She hardly looked satisfied and did not appear to trust him.

James hadn't really found the diary Cecilia'd mentioned but had accidentally found one interesting thing – it was a gold chain, with a two photo locket – inside the pictures of Ken and her put in on each side, that Ken'd worn until the end of his time. Now James was wondering if he should tell her about this. He knew he should give this thing to her, but in another part of his mind he didn't really want to give it back to her because he couldn't help wanting to keep her picture, though he felt guilty at the same time. But he would have to give it to her one day. One day – he wasn't certain when it would be.

Now Cecilia was staring at him as if she could read his mind. Her sharp look dragged James out of his thoughts. He cleared his throat and shifted his gaze from her in case she saw the truth of what he had in mind. "Why do you want to get his diary?" inquired James.

"I just want to read it. And I want to know if it is true that he died of that damned liver cancer."

James looked at her. "Don't you believe in what I said?"

"Actually," she said, "I don't want to believe it. Because I know he had been very healthy."

"Hepatic cancer is a bad disease, you know, and…," said James. "And his disease was already old when he knew he had it," explained James.

Cecilia let out a deep sigh. "However, I couldn't imagine about the cause of his death," she said. "The more I think about it, the more confused I am. And I'm determined to try to get at the truth of his death," said Cecilia firmly, her eyes flickered up at him accusingly.

James Terry's face turned red. He knew well that she suspected him of Ken's death, anyway. James used to hate women for all the reasons he could give. But now why was he putting up with this, with her accusing eyes? Why did he surrender to a woman? Why had he changed so much since he met her, he thought himself incredulously.

Was it really that he was in love with her without realizing it?

'Support her, help her and do anything what she will want to do as much as you can for me,' Ken had said to him before he died. Ken'd assigned the duty of him to take care of Cecilia to James.

James'd accepted it earnestly to fulfill his best friend's wish. The truth was that James had been interested in Cecilia before he hadn't seen her. Now if anyone asked him what his earnest wish was, he would immediately answer him

that it was to have Cecilia for the rest of his life.

A deep silence lingered for a long moment.

"Mr. Terry, I'll have to go take a shower, excuse me," said Cecilia, rising.

His moments of thought were shattered by her voice. He nodded reluctantly. "Well, of course," he said. "I…I'm also leaving. Bye."

"Okay," she said, turning away from him. He watched her go up the stairs. And then he went outside to his car.

Cecilia had decided to take a trip to St Augustine Beach with her best friends, Alice Singer and Flora Henderson. First they had to make a list of the things they would take to the trip before they went out shopping. When they got to the plaza, they started to buy the things they needed for the trip: flats, a tube of sun cream, torch light, some new dresses and jeans, and latest styled sunglasses.

As Alice and Flora were as fashionable as Cecilia was, they were now eager to buy some new fancy earrings, bracelets and chains, and some new beautiful accessories and lipsticks, but Cecilia was not in the mood for shopping; she looked pensive and followed her friends like a robot. When they were choosing lipsticks to buy, Cecilia didn't join them but stared at them. Standing there and watching her friends picking the lipsticks out, Cecilia suddenly remembered Ken giving her a lipstick called 'love this' from Revlon brand once. She let out a deep sigh and blinked away the tears that had threatened to fill her eyes.

When Alice and Flora caught the sight of the sadness on her face, they led her away from the cosmetics counter to the cafeteria nearby after buying some lipsticks; they seemed to understand how Cecilia was feeling. When they got inside it, they sat at the corner table.

"We're glad that we're going to take a trip because, you know, we can accompany you, Cecil," said Alice after they had ordered some food.

"Yes. I agree with her," followed Flora. "Actually, we all want to pull you through; we don't want to see you sad like that anymore. Our hearts really go out to you, Cecil," she whined.

"We're really sorry for your loss, Cecil," said Alice. "Since we all know that you two loved each other so much, stuck together and never wanted to be apart even for a while. But even when fate gave you two a chance to be together again, unfortunately, such a terrible tragedy's happened," she said, shaking her head again and again.

It was Cecilia who was so still and quiet; her eyes filled with sadness.

Flora winked at Alice not to mention about Ken anymore. They didn't want to hurt her so Flora changed the subject.

"By the way, who's the man called James Terry?" asked Flora. "How did he get involved with Ken?"

The other day, while Alice and Flora were at her house, James Terry called on it. No wonder they were interested in him and wanted to know about him. But then Cecilia hadn't

explained anything yet.

"Mr. Terry was Ken's best friend," answered Cecilia. "They ran the same company and he owned the half of it and they hadn't divided the share yet."

"Oh, what an interesting thing! Is that mean that you can get the half of it, I mean the share of Ken's?" asked Alice interestingly. Cecilia nodded.

"I think he's interested in you," remarked Alice.

Cecilia frowned and shook her head. "I don't think so."

"Don't deny it. I'm also certain that Mr. Terry's interested in you, Cecilia, because I could read his eyes," insisted Flora.

"Stop saying like that," warned Cecilia. "I don't care if he's interested in me or not because I'm not interested in him at all and there's the only person in my heart, you know, it's Ken," said Cecilia firmly.

"Yeah, we know that James Terry hasn't become the man you are interested in right now, but as time goes on," Alice paused a moment and added, "he may become the man you won't be able to ignore."

"No, it won't become this way, ever," snapped Cecilia.

"You cannot know if it will become this way or not, can you?" Alice pursued.

Cecilia held up a hand. "Oh, no more words about him. I don't want to hear anymore. It's just wasting time. Let's go back and we've got a lot of things to plan for the trip," she warned.

After about an hour, they went back to her house. They had just made the turn toward the house when they all saw James Terry's B.M.W parked right in front of the house.

"Oh, he's already arrived," said Alice with a surprise. "Maybe he's kept waiting for you."

Cecilia said nothing, pulling her car up beside his, and they all got out slowly. James Terry stood there, leaning over his car's trunk, a can of sprite in his hand, and sipped a little and smiled at her. He looked smart and handsome as usual in his gray suit, with a cleanly white shirt and a dark blue and white silk stripy tie.

"Hi," he said with a smile. "I've been waiting for you. Mrs. Mary told me that you'd gone shopping."

Cecilia glanced at him for a brief-moment and asked, "What for?"

James shrugged. "Can I call on at your house without any reason, can't I?" he asked with a smirk.

She didn't answer his question. She thought his question was just annoying. Her friends studied her and James alternately; their eyes darted from her to him.

"I came here to ask for you something," he said secretly.

"What's that?" she asked curtly.

"I've been told that you're planning for a trip. May I come along with you?" asked James.

"No, we'll go by ourselves," said Cecilia resistantly.

"Well, okay, okay," said James. She could see a small sneer on his lips. "So all I can do is to pray for you. Have a

good time in St Augustine Beach."

"Thank you," she said coldly, swinging away from him, and went up the stairs and entered the house. Her friends followed.

James was left outside alone and felt humiliated because of her two friend's scornful looks and smiles. For some reason, he continued to stand there and did not get into the car yet.

Was I defeated, James thought. He couldn't help recalling about her paying no attention on him. Why am I neglected by her that much, he thought. He had no idea. He blamed himself for his sudden surrender to this woman. Cecilia had managed to touch his heart in a way no woman ever had. Now he felt let-down.

James shook his head and took a deep breath. After a few moments, he started the car engine and backed the car out of the driveway and pulled away.