Confessions

Harry? His masked face is engulfed by a bright blur... Is it true? Is he really here? His blue gaze seems glazed in worry, his black locks even messier than last time.

"H-h" My voice... it's stuck somewhere in my throat, I cant seem to... My body feels hot... drenched and stiff. My hands, my fingers, can I move them?

"Khatryn... Thank god, thought I was going to lose you." His blue eye, is overflowing, Harry... is crying? "H-Ha, har" No good, my voice still won't come out. I need to get it together, I have to apologize... His hands have gripped tightly to my left, my fingers, they feel prickly and numb.

"Don't push yourself, you have been out for at least thirty hours." Thirty hours? He's been back for over a day already? But I was just... what about outside? Ough! My head feels like it is going to split open.

"It's been a while since you were sick before, but this..." One of his fingers is gently grazing over the brand left in my palm. That expression, I've never seen before, it's one of uncertainty mixed with something else.

"Tell me everything once you get well ok. And don't worry, I'll be staying, everything has been taken care of." Taken care of? Then Harry won't have to leave again for a while? My heart... I shouldn't allow myself to get excited or relieved... but I can't keep it from beating warmly.

For rest of the day... or is it night? He stayed, it's a haze but I remember his comforting touch as he held my hand, how he helped me get something to eat, there was some fresh fruit so he must have brought some. He also carried me to the tub before that, helping me wash off the sweat and warm up my body, even now it is hard to move, my body just feels... heavy. Harry, he is really here and he's fine, he changed the bed too, the cloth is dry and soft, its touch is pleasant against my skin. My eyes like my heart I can't stop them from flowing... everything will be ok... right? Those things I saw, those hands on my shoulders, the crowned one... it was all just a nightmare right? A fever dream brought by my worries... it must be, but...

"Just let it out, I'm here now." Harry's hands are wiping my tears, I never really thought of how big and warm his hands are, how tender his touch, not until now. It feels... soothing like I'm about to... no, what will happen when I drift off again? Will Harry disappear? Will I meet that clawed creature again? I don't want to, I just want to stay like this, for as long as possible. His right hand is stroking my cheek as the left holds my hand in a soft embrace.

"You need to rest now, it is getting late." No... I need to tell him. If I clench my hand and try to convince him will he understand?

"I-I don't... want, too."

"Why?" His touch, his voice, their all so gentle, exuding a pleasing warmth.

"Scared... If I close, m, my eyes it feels like one of us will... disappear." His grip, its tightening.

"Rest assured Khat. I won't let that happen, now close your eyes, you need to regain your strength."

Harry was right, I slept, I woke, and we were both still here, I did wake up several times heaving for air whilst my heart was pounding in fright like it wanted to escape, leaving my body behind. But every time Harry was there to calm me back to sleep, holding my hand through the entire night. It warms me up but I can't help to feel guilty. If what I saw back there with Harry happened, how will he treat me when I tell him? Will he still care for me in the same way... or will he get angry and hate me? But I must tell him, it is my fault so I have to, I can't just ignore the fact that I might be guilty of hurting him. He who saved my life all this time.

"How are you feeling today Khat?" Still worried but I have to, but still, I don't want to let go. I muster what strength I've got left and lounge, my hands barely able to lock together behind Harry's back.

"Easy there... What's wrong Khat?" I got to do it, right now. But it feels like my heart is tightening, crushing itself.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"What's gotten into you?"

"I saw you, during one of my visions, you were in this cave with some people and this old hodded man. And... and." His hand, it's stroking the back of my head?

"I see, but I told you didn't I? It is all in the past."

"But that thing looked at me before it hurt you! It is my fault for being" His arms, they are embracing me now, locking us tightly... together.

"Stop, Khat, none of this is your fault, it was something that couldn't be helped." Couldn't be helped?

"Why?" My grip is weakening, my head... its starting to spin again.

"I was keeping secrets back then, even if Oculus could see you I doubt it had anything to do with me getting marked."

"Does it hurt?" His grip is lessening.

"Not anymore." There is a faint metallic scent close to Harry's chest... wait Harry's hurt?

"You're injured".

"That. Got a bit careless while gathering supplies, it's just a scratch. You're in a worse state than I am". I guess he's right about that. His heart, I can hear it beating from here. Listening to its steady beats almost lessens this dizzying sensation.

"Want me to tell you about how we met?" Is he really going to? My wings are giving away a weak flutter.

"It was the day when the world I knew ended. The day of the first descent when those incomprehensible creatures came, wings darker than starless nights. I remember people dying, both those that I knew and did not. It was utter chaos and I found myself fleeing like a coward. After some time had passed I had gotten far away from the initial downfall when I came face to face with one of them. It was on the road outside my hometown, and in the corner of the road it was hunched over something, black wings, and clawed hands, only vaguely resembling the shape of a human and its face..." That pause, Harry must be struggling with words, I can't even imagine how it must be like, the taught of losing Harry alone tears me up inside.

"Its face, I can't even describe it, a floating mess of flesh and eyes, always seeming to morph and change, and on the ground in front, I noticed something white on the ground barely moving. I wasn't sure about anything, only that someone or something might still be alive aside from these harbingers of decay. For the first time since I started running, I unsheathed my weapons and started fighting, it was like something compelled me to do so. I eventually landed some fatal blows and the thing just seemed to melt into the ground leaving behind a darkened stain on the earth below. I hurried over to what I had spotted and I saw this winged child, wings, and hair reminding me of snow, she was so tiny, not longer than a meter... and, she was hurt unconscious, a chunk of her shoulder missing, red streams dyeing the green grass beneath. In my world that had ended, it felt like I had somehow gotten a new chance to be a person... to protect someone like family. It was at that moment I decided my new purpose in this changed life... to, to keep this child of heavens safe." My heart feels so warm, overflowing just like my eyes, whisking everything dark away.

"So please Khat, don't blame yourself, don't put yourself down, you are the only thing that kept me from giving up all this time. You kept me alive."