Where its all began

Why does a person break all vows, betraying everything that is sacred to them? Is it fear, hatred, reason, or love that drives this betrayal?

Allow me to introduce myself, I am John, born and raised in a small German town. My parents, were what one commonly called upright people, very busy with feeding the mouths of their offspring and raising money for the mortgages. They were very loving but most of the time anxious, with no time to have trust in themselves and the future. They were hardworking and domestic, with few acquaintances and no friends. My brothers and I were encouraged to go to school regularly and learn so that we would have an easier time later on. My brothers had always been smarter than me, and while that plan may have worked perfectly for them, it's hard to say if it did for me.

My life was supposed to follow a path that would lead me to the highest heights a mortal can reach, but that wasn't possible. As a child, I was normal - not a late bloomer or a prodigy. My school years went like millions of others, with no special academic achievements and a few F's in math. I was always in the middle of the pack, had my first kiss at fourteen, and had a few flirts with girls next door. The biggest decision I made in life was to buy myself a scooter, which I bought with money saved up from part-time jobs. My mother was afraid I'd ride myself to my death, while my father was proud that his child was finally becoming a man. Being the first in my class to own a scooter increased my win rate with girls - if it wasn't for the scooter, I wouldn't have stood out even once in my life.

My school career went smoothly until graduation when I moved to another city to further my studies away from the familiar. Being away gave me a newfound rush of excitement - everything was new: new people, new impressions. The city was characterized by its large university where everywhere you went you met young people who were not working but enjoying life as far as their slim wallets allowed. Being away from the influence of my parents made me begin searching for something new - something exciting; the exciting side of existence.

I pursued my studies with discipline and diligence, enjoying attending lectures, seminars, and making many contacts at university. I was so happy that I could finally escape the dull life I had been living and replace it with something exciting and adventurous, if only I knew then what lay ahead on this thorny path; perhaps I would have given up all the pleasures of life and become a devoted monk instead.

Then I saw her! Never before had I seen a person who possessed so much grace. I was sitting in the middle of the lecture hall, surrounded by noisy, exuberant classmates. The air was stuffy and musty, with rain-soaked coats draped over desks. The room felt dark and unfriendly, and I was hanging more than sitting. The previous evening had been long, and I was tired, easily succumbing to the general mood of idleness. No one needed to feel guilty about it; studying was hard work.

As I fell into a state of drowsiness, a gentle vibration filled my tired body. Slowly, I realized that this vibration was coming from a specific point in the room behind me. This realization shocked me intensely because in that moment, I saw the most beautiful woman in the world. She was strikingly slim, almost bony, but with such a harmonious appearance that I fell in love with her instantly. She radiated strange waves of charisma that captivated me.

She did not look at me as she sat down on an empty seat, exuding strength without smiling or speaking to anyone. My full attention was drawn to her as she sat among casually dressed students, standing out with her expensive, elegant clothing and subtle golden jewelry that hinted at a wealthy background.

Her face was simply beautiful with high cheekbones and full lips adorning her features. Her brown hair cascaded shoulder-length in loose waves that almost curled, shining with a healthy glow. There must have been a captivating figure hidden under her clothing that accentuated her body shape.

I couldn't help but wonder if she came from a good family or perhaps had a wealthy boyfriend who provided for her luxurious lifestyle. It seemed impossible for someone like me to have a chance with such an extraordinary woman who exuded confidence and elegance.

In her presence, my self-confidence evaporated as I realized she was out of my league.

It took a few weeks until I encountered this woman again. She was a participant in a seminar that I also attended. Working groups were formed. The professor assigned us to the same group. When I spoke to her for the first time, I noticed how shy I could be. But I didn't stutter. For me, in my state at that time, it was a reason to be proud. She was natural and relaxed. Serious and casual at the same time.

She must have felt how awkward her conversation partner was. She remained natural and did not let me know that she recognized my state. I interpreted this as kindness from her. Her name, was jessica but anything else about herself remained a mystery. I found it difficult to relax around her. How could a person be so confident! Did one have to be so flawless in appearance in order not to allow any doubts about one's own personality? Her effect on me was devastating. I couldn't tell what I thought of her. All lights fade next to the sun. I knew that the more often I would encounter her, the more desolate my self-confidence would become. I wished to feast my eyes on her from now on, daily seeing her without getting used to it. My words always came out strained from my lungs when talking to her. Her voice was gentle, clear, and penetrated every molecule of my body. My mind was paralyzed, and I controlled my movements compulsively just to make at least a somewhat good impression. There was nothing left of me anymore - no charm, no humor, no spirit, no wit. I felt like a fool every day, becoming more of an idiot each time.

How did this woman experience me, whom I admired so much? The woman whom I idolized and wanted to worship? The woman whom I loved must have thought of me as the most boring and mediocre person on this planet.

Her presence made my true essence visible...

As days passed, I found myself increasingly tormented by Jessica's presence. Despite our daily interactions, we never connected on a personal level, and the situation became unbearable for me. Day by day, the more I hesitated to move things forward with her, the more fearful I became. Fear spread in my life, embracing me in its chilly embrace. I became so fearful, so fearful to even breathe normally in her presence. Her radiant deep blue eyes tore me apart internally. I knew I had to make a decision if I wanted to sleep peacefully again. In just a few clear moments, it became obvious to me - it's either I distance myself from her and never see her again, or I completely push things forward with her and risk being rejected by her.

"I will now visit the seminar one last time. I'll give myself one last chance to prove myself worthy of her, and if I fail, then it means I have reached my limit. She is not for me, only normal girls like me are worthy of me."

My shoes felt like lead as I embarked on the path of fate. She did not come to the seminar that day. My last chance was missed by her. The feeling of being inferior to her was total.

In the following months i slowly recovered. I visited friends again, i invited love ones. I started laughing at jokes again without feeling like im being watched. without controlling the sound of my laughter.. i didnt care if i laughed too loudly or to shrilly. soon i started making jokes myself again. the fear that the joke will be too shallow disappeared.. slowly the difference between my friends and myself shrank. Eventually, my normal life came back..i was happy again..

Yes, Jessica hasn't attended varsity since that day, three months has now passed without seing her.. at some point my dreams of her began to fade, they became rare.. i returned to my old self.. however, two details were now different. I had not been in a relationship with a girl during that time.. and have developed a habit of observing how i was feeling. In fact, i contatly obsevered myself.. the amazing thing is, i could observe myself without changing my behaviour.. i simply watch as my life unfolds, i have gained distance from my own life over the months.

I have become both familiar and a stranger to myself at the same time.. that was her gift to me. Her strong personality has changed me,It was a great gift because a man who can see himself as a stranger gradually loses fear and also - anxiety

Its has been a year now, and i haven't seen jessica.. and i have continued to live like this on my own. In the evenings, with friends, we sat in the greek restaurant. The cheerful mood was enhaced by the resinous wine flowing freely, with no care in the world and without any awareness that things can change..

I was just laughing at my friends silly jokes.. when my nerves began to vibrate..in a instant i was as sober as I had ever been in my short life. There she was! She was nearby. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. Like a panicked animal sensing a pack and knowing there was no escape, my body began to tremble. Spell bound, i stared at the door. Two eternities passed. A tall, handsome young man entered the establishment. He was in his mid- thirties, had a clean- shaven beared, and short dark hair..

He wore a light summer suit. Many men wore suits, but this one fit perfectly. No wrinkles, no creases, a hundred percent fit. The man rediated perfection. From his tanned face shone two friendly, clear eyes sending complete openness across the room. Streght, confidence emitted from him..beside him, its was her, jessy she entered the room.. if i was already pale in her presence, then in the presence of this perfect couple I was extinguished. I stopped trembling and fixed my gaze on these two figures intently..

They walked side by side at arm's length from each other toward me. My companions were still cheerful and loud unaware of the incoming strangers. The serious faces of the two godlike figures seem all the more ghostly. She looked at me and approached me. She stopped infront of me. I think i must have stared at her with my mouth open. My eyes wide open as if sensing doom. Yet my brain was empty. Her gaze saw right through me. She could look into the deepest depths of my soul. I was bloodless when she spoke to me:

"John, its nice to see you again..let me introduce you to my brother". With unparalleled nonchalance, she gestured towards her companion.

" This is my brother Pete"

With a friendly glance but without smiling, the man nodded at me.

In that moment she told me its was his brother, i felt relaxed, free and happy. But i couldnt speak because even my brain was relaxed, and free of any hint of thought.. she continued

" We must continue to chant as nicely as we used to before.. tomorrow, we are having a small party. If you have time, come"..

As if out of nowhere, she had a golden fountain pen in her hand and simultaneously produced a hand size leather bound note book on the table..

My friends watched with wide open eyes, as a world destroying beauty.. began to write with swift motions and fleeting movements on the paper.. making a address appear.. she tore its, Then pulled out the page from the note book. Folded its, then tucked its into my shirt breast pocket..

She did not touch me, Now that i think about its, i realized that I had never touched her either; I hadn't even shaken her hand.

Her brother briefly greeted my campanions, turned around and prepared to leave the establishment almost in synchronously with her. After taking a step, she briefly turned her supple upper body, met me with her gaze, her mouth didnt move, but i had the sound of her voice in my thoughts. Its said " Tomorrow, 8:17 pm. Be on time".. i was hearing her voice yet, i could see clearly her lips were not moving. She was using my mind.. yet its didnt bother me.. its only later when i have left the tarven and i was sleeping on my bed, that i realized the two only came to the tarven to meet me. They had come directly to me and left once they had done what they came for. " How did they do that?, how did they know where i was?, why me?, Why 8:17 pm? Seventeen? How did that thought come into my head?, why arent they smiling? What kind of family was this?, whose children were so beatyful and radiant? Should i really go?, who else would be there?, What did they want from me? Had we ever chatted nicely before?

No! We had only exchanged content related information during the seminar. She had never been noticeably nice to me. By the way, not to anyone else either. That suddenly occurred to me. " Why would she suddenly show kindness? A triviality", nevertheless, its was firmly established to me that she had lied to me. Yes, i felt like her behaviour was a lie. Neither she nor I had ever considered any sentence we exchanged as nice chatter. " Then why did she lie to me?" A person who lived so close to perfection could not just blurt something out like that. No, she must have consciously lied to me. "What was going on here?"hundreds of questions raced through my mind that night. In my confusion its was impossible to sleep, the more i thought about it, the more confused i became. I had to go, i had to go to this little party.

The day was filled with a very calm atmosphere. Today, i would say was the calm before the storm. That day i didnt want to study. I didnt want to talk to anyone. I took care of myself, relaxed, sat in streets cafes, went swimming and later went to a headdresser salon for a haircut, with my last money brought myself new clothes..

" We are having a little party?.. jessy voice echoed in my head. " Who are We?. Was its her parents? Her brother? Her friend? Her husband?".

This time i wanted to make a good impression. And not standout nagatively among the godlike beings, well atleast not too much.The day passed slowly, as the questions in my head gave way to the feeling of burning curiosity. That completely filled every fibre of my being..

I took a taxi, i mentioned the address to the taxi driver. Who drove me to the villa district not far from the city gates, the gentle light of warm summer evening felt doubly intense. this day held a very special significance to me. I was on the quest of finding answers to all my questions.

As she opened the door, I looked at her glossy eyes. I had the first answer to my question answered.

"So that's why she lied to me. Now, it was clear. If she hadn't occupied my mind with thinking about why she was talking about nice chats with me, then I wouldn't have been curious enough to follow the invitation."

My resolution to see her only once was now out of the window. She had once again proven how superior she was to me. It wasn't me who determined when to see her and when not. She determined it. She had subtly manipulated me and undermined my firm decision.

The new question now was, "How could she have possibly known my decision and resorted to trickery in order to deceive me?" How did she know my decision? Did she really know? Or was I thinking too much again? Was I just trying to understand and justify my new feelings? A feeling I didn't know if it was a bad one.

I felt in that moment like she had allowed me to see through this story. I couldn't figure it out before because she didn't allow it. She used my brain. I was almost certain now.

And I couldn't distinguish when I was thinking for myself or when it was her... I was immediately distracted from the nausea that this realization caused me when a black hunting dog jumped through the hallway towards me and stood barking in front of me. Obviously, adrenaline held back the vomit. Could I feel anything other than miserable in her presence?

She calmed the dog, assured me that he was completely harmless, even sweet, and invited me into the house. A modern, beautiful building with a light facade and minimalist furnishings that spoke of selected taste. Here, the interior designer truly earned his fee. Everything exuded a touch of generosity. There was plenty of space between the furniture, the shelves were far from overloaded. A few graphics adorned the white walls. Noble materials defined the ambiance. Unlike many other stylish apartments, I felt comfortable here from the first moment on. There was a lot of money in this house; I hadn't expected anything else. From the hallway, I could already see the living room, or rather the living hall, through double glass doors. A beautiful, large room, one side of which was fully glazed and allowed a view of a wide green landscape through a terrace. The sun gently shone over a distant forest covering a hill, and I felt this sunset should be very special.

One half of the living room space was dominated by a massive table. A board. Five men of middle to advanced age were sitting at it. Her brother was not there. She was the only woman.

As we approached the room and approached the others, she briefly introduced me. "This is my friend John, whom I have told you so much about," turning her head to face me, she said. "You are punctual. Surely you will eat dinner with us. You like exotic cuisine, don't you?" Without giving me a chance to respond, she placed me at the head of the table. "Me, her friend!" That was exaggerated. But she said it. Why, I wasn't sure. Was I thinking too much about trivial things again? After all, my entire encounter with her consisted solely of trivial exchanges and commonplace conversations.

I sat at the table and said nothing. The men were silent too. No one looked particularly interested in me. I was just there, like them. The woman who was supposed to be my friend sat across from me at the table.

She stood up and in her casual manner, she gave a brief speech.

"Now that we are all here, everyone can eat. My uncle has a lot to tell us about his trip. We want to eat while he talks. Today, something truly extraordinary is on the menu. My uncle has brought us a cook from Borneo," my uncle once said. "He is a brave warrior who has slain more than twenty enemies with his bare hands.

Did she say "uncle" was surprised at this unusual word, which caused me to barely pay attention to what she said next?

A door opened and a black man entered the room. He wore a dark blue business suit, had fairly long curly hair, and a shaggy beard. He was no more than five feet tall. After taking one step into the room, he stopped, looked around, and finally looked at me.

He stared at me with wild, sparkling jet-black eyes. I couldn't withstand that gaze for even a fraction of a second. I looked to the side, seeking help from others who were relaxed at the table, but I physically felt that he was still fixated on me. I looked back, and there it was again: the feeling that I hadn't had in so long. Fear. Wild, unrestrained panic. Fear of having to give up my existence in that hour.

"Damn! She hadn't meant it as a joke! When she said this man had slain twenty enemies with his bare hands, how many more had he killed with a weapon?" A man whose unbroken will could be read on his face, no one could resist him. He must have been the king of Borneo. If I had to describe him in one word, I would choose the expression "intense".

I lowered my eyes. He probably took this gesture as a sign of submission to his will. The situation and the mood relaxed from then on. He clapped his hands three times. That was the signal for four even smaller black women to enter with large silver platters. Bowls of exotic fruits and vegetables were placed before us on the table. They had to go several times to load all the exotic delicacies onto the table. They set the table extremely quickly and skillfully. Finally, mountains of food stood before us. With that, the image of wealth and prosperity was complete, or so I thought.

The cook personally brought in the last platter. Obviously, here came the real delicacy of the evening. When he placed this plate directly in front of me on the table, my stomach almost turned over. Roasted iguanas or lizards on a skewer. They were still intact, with tail, legs, and head. Big animals, maybe half a meter long. Definitely a dozen or more. Although my horror was obvious, I did not want to be rude. I tried to smile, but my facial features were contorted into a grimace as I nodded thankfully to the cook.

I couldn't pay attention to the reaction of the other guests. I was too busy suppressing my disgust with it all. One of the men stood up, tapped his spoon against a glass, and gave a short speech. His name was Brandon, and he was happy to be back in his homeland and able to tell us about his experiences. He thanked the cook and waitresses and announced that he would bring us many news from the library.

With this last remark, I couldn't make anything out of it. But it promised to be an interesting evening. When Uncle's turn came, he stood up and began speaking.

"Brothers, I'm delighted that all of you have joined me this wonderful evening. It brings me great joy to see that most of you have enjoyed my gift," he said, stealing a glance at me.

Everyone liked listening to world travelers. And the uncle had an engaging way of telling stories. It seemed like he gave speeches often.

As we ate, we learned that the uncle had been away for over a year because he had undertaken a research trip. Obviously, he was looking for a library. He spoke about how on every continent there lived a small group of people who possessed this library. And these libraries hold books that describe the life of all people. He knew where the Asian library was located. Now he was looking for the Australian one. His brother was working in the same field and discovered the African one. At present, he is searching on the South American continent.

The explanations of this man were captivating. I listened and ate. I even ate the iguanas, after being informed that only kings and chiefs in Borneo were allowed to eat this special kind.

Furthermore, the meat was very rich in protein and contained many nutrients. However, the decisive argument for trying these animals was that I saw how others bit into them with great pleasure after drizzling the iguanas with the juice of a lemon-like fruit. When I followed suit, I realized that the native kings wanted to keep this delicacy as a privilege. The tender meat of the reptiles melted on my tongue. The uncle kept talking and talking. Time flew by. We dined excellently and abundantly. During dessert, they gave out a fruit cream which I tasted for the first time. While enjoying this delicacy, a question came into my mind. I interrupted the uncle's flow of speech, who had been the only one speaking until then.

"There is an Asian library, an African one, an American one, and an Australian one. Maybe even two American ones and two Australian ones. According to this theory, there should also be a European one... now my question is, why are you not searching for it?"

Hearing this, the uncle laughed.

He told me the European one has been in his family's possession for several thousand years already. In fact, it was in his house. And the goal was to unite all groups that owned libraries, because then the major flaw of individual libraries would be balanced out.

A cold shiver ran down my spine and I got goosebumps. What had he just said? The books describing everyone's lives had been in his family's possession for several thousand years? I then asked what the major flaw was. He told me only the lives of people who ever came into contact with the library and asked about it were recorded. The millions of people who never learned about these books were not mentioned in these writings. If one had all libraries, they will find the key to the library that records the lives of all people who ever lived or would ever live.

World travelers have always had much to tell about their experiences - most of which could not be verified.

But here was a man claiming that there were books in his house where people could read about their fate if they asked for it.

This meant that all I needed to do was ask, and I could read about my destiny - something verifiable.

"Is my life described in those books as well?" I asked, a hint of doubt in my voice.

He nodded solemnly. "Yes, indeed."

"My entire destiny?" I pressed, a slight tremble in my words.

"Yes, certainly," he replied, his tone unwavering.

"Everything?" I asked, my eyes searching his face for any sign of hesitation.

"Yes," he said, the corners of his mouth turning up in a small smile.

"Even my death?" The words caught in my throat as I voiced the unthinkable.

"Of course," he answered, the smile on his face deepening.

The evening had been beautiful up until this point. All joy had vanished. I had reached a serious point in my life. "Was this why she was so serious too? Others? Did they know what lay ahead of them? Did they know the time and manner of their death?"

"If fate was predetermined and there was no escape from this path, and if humans knew this and if the correctness of this fact was confirmed to them daily - if it was confirmed by experiencing what was prescribed - how could a person still have the illusion of freedom? How could a person live with this knowledge?" Every hope was taken from them. Without hope, a person could not be cheerful. Was that the price for perfection of these people? Disappointments, fear, doubts - these would be blown away when a person looked into their fate. Furthermore, it is in human nature to want to know everything. I am curious too. Otherwise, I would not ask such questions. "What would it be like if I could foresee just one day from my future life?"

For example, tomorrow's day. If I felt it would harm me, what would I do? Should I leave the rest of my life in darkness? Let myself be surprised by the future? Or should I want to see more? "How about it? This offer was unbelievable. Did he mean it seriously? Or was he teasing me so that everyone could laugh freely if I were naive enough to believe these fantastic tales?"

The chance stood at one to one. If everything were made up, we would laugh heartily and the uncle's lecture would have been a complete success. Everyone would have had a great time laughing together. If the strange story were true, then I now had perhaps a unique opportunity to see the future. One day couldn't be that bad.

I agreed.

The writings were not organized by names but by birthdays. This was my moment.

Now I could make the trick obvious with finesse.

There had to be some sleight of hand trick behind it.

I wanted to test them, so I gave them my brother's birthday.

Uncle summoned one of the men he addressed as "Master" and instructed him to fetch the book from the mysterious library. The search was meant to take half an hour.

Fifteen minutes later, the librarian master returned, a troubled expression on his face. "I'm afraid the book is missing, sir," he said, bowing apologetically to Uncle.

"How can this be?" Uncle thundered, his face flushed with anger. "Your sole duty is to maintain and guard the library. How could you let a book be stolen?"

I watched the scene with growing unease. Had the library and its precious works truly existed? Or was this all an elaborate ruse? I decided to confess my doubts.

"Uncle, I must be honest. I was skeptical of the library's existence, so I wanted to test it," I admitted. "I'm sorry for the deception."

To my surprise, Uncle's expression softened. "I suspected the master of neglecting his duties," he said, visibly relieved. "I'm glad no book was stolen, for that would have rendered the others worthless." Instead of scolding me, he seemed pleased that I had put the library's authenticity to the test.

Convinced of the books' existence, I shared my true birthday. The master left the room and returned after nearly an hour, carrying a black wooden box. The table had been cleared and covered with a dark silk cloth. With reverence and awe, the master set down the box and slowly opened the lid, revealing its plush red velvet lining.

Inside lay a stone tablet, roughly fifteen by twenty centimeters in size. Intricate symbols were etched into the surface, their meanings obscure to me. The master carefully picked up the tablet with both hands and handed it to me, saying, "You will survive tomorrow. These are the events that have been foretold."

The weight of his words struck me with profound realization. If the prophecies carved into the tablet were true, then I could be certain of living through the day - a fate that had seemed uncertain up until this point. A smile blossomed on my face as the overwhelming sense of freedom washed over me.

"What merciful fate has led me to this place, to these people?" I exclaimed inwardly, filled with deep gratitude.

The master began reading the translation of the characters aloud. He foretold a joyful day ahead - one filled with a long sleep, a meal with friends, a natural spectacle, and an unexpected stroke of easy money.

"Uncle Master, this information seems quite general," I remarked, unable to hide my slight disappointment.

The master chuckled, stroking his beard. "What were you expecting? The sun to fall from the sky and consume us all?" He laughed heartily.

I felt embarrassment flush my cheeks. "I suppose I wasn't anticipating something so...mundane," I admitted.

"Only the most decisive events warrant detailed description," the master explained, his voice tempered with wisdom. I nodded in understanding, content to accept the general, yet promising, glimpse into my future.

As the evening drew near, I found myself filled with a sense of cautious optimism, eagerly awaiting the day that lay ahead.

In the evening..

I left their company with mixed feelings. They were very friendly and even encouraged me to visit them uninvited whenever I wanted.

"Did the mysterious women have secret feelings for me?" Did she invite me to this exceptional, stimulating, and interesting evening to get close to me? Or was it about something else? My thoughts were confused, and my feelings unclear.

But now, it was time to observe the next day and see if there was anything special about the library of destiny. When I got home, I immediately went to bed and recapped the events of the evening. In my entire life, I had never spent an hour in such lively intellectual engagement as with these special men and this unique woman. It took me a long time to fall asleep. I slept shallowly and restlessly, dreaming of headhunters in the South Seas. I saw naked natives fighting with spears and clubs. The ancestors and medicine men appeared in my dream, showing me the animals of the jungle that gave them strength to win. I saw the king of wild iguanas being caught and devoured alive. Bizarre scenes alternated with harmonious scenes with my dream woman.

That night, I tossed and turned in my bed, and sleeping was more exhausting than the day's activities.

Since I couldn't regenerate in my sleep, I only woke up when someone rang my doorbell.

My alarm clock confirmed the accuracy of the first prediction.

I got up late. Some friends visited me, trying to persuade me to have a late breakfast or early lunch together, which also proved the second prophecy right.

Now a feeling of elation rose within me that made every cell in my body tingle. Today, I felt immortal. The knowledge that nothing could happen to me today put me in such a euphoric state that my acquaintances mentioned it several times. They said I was so cheerful, so quick-witted, and so superior-looking, radiating a strength and calmness they were not used to seeing from me.

Yes, today I was a god among mortals. Now I knew the secret of godlike beings.

The day was beautiful. The sun was shining, so we decided to go swimming. In the late afternoon, it started raining, and a rainbow appeared over the lake. It stretched from horizon to horizon in a perfect semicircle.

Captivated by nature's beauty, I tried to burn this image into my memory when I saw another rainbow outside of the first one.

I didn't even know that such a thing was physically possible.

This display of nature was as rare as it was beautiful.

I spent the rest of the day with my friends. In the evening, we went to a pub. One of the guys threw money into a slot machine and got upset because he lost everything. It was his last money for the month. In my general feeling of superiority, I pushed him aside with a condescending gesture, put a coin in the slot, turned to my beer, and only paid attention to the machine again when it started spitting out coins. I had won the jackpot. I wasn't surprised. After all, the prediction was clear. I could boast because there was no risk in my life that day. If something bad had happened, I would have had a detailed description beforehand. We ended the day very late. I lay on my bed and replayed the last hours in my mind's eye. I thought about it. One prophecy was wrong. Everything had happened as written on the stone tablet. The course of this day had been set for thousands of years. But I hadn't lost anything. A terrible idea flashed through my mind. The library was unreliable. If trivialities were incorrect, crucial points could also be wrong. Had I been mortal today after all? Was my elation based on an empty promise? My hope of being able to be one of the gods forever collapsed like a house of cards.

Sad and disappointed, I escaped into a short, dreamless sleep. The next morning, I woke up very early, like a normal mortal. I felt burnt out and empty. For one day, I had lived like a god, and everyone had noticed. It was amazing that a prediction about my life was possible, but it was flawed. The smallest hole in a condom made the intact rest unnecessary. This comparison was the most clever thing my mind could produce.

Why should I bother with such unnecessary things in the future? I had learned something: Pride comes before a fall. I believed myself superior to my fellow men, and yet I had only been a gullible fool. My only comfort was that no one could have noticed, because I had not confided the reason for my elation to anyone. My friends had experienced me as superior and extraordinary for one day. Perhaps they respected me a little more because of that day. That would have been something.

I realized how I tried to relate a deep disappointment by desperately trying to find positive aspects in this experience. So I gave up and admitted to myself that I was just a simple, normal idiot. My decision never to see those people who had hurt me again was final. I did not want to dwell on what had happened anymore. My fate was that of an ordinary fool.

I decided that from now on, I wanted to be a diligent student, who would soon graduate. I would pursue a respectable career, start a normal family, and accept my life as it was offered to me, without frills or extravagance. These thoughts hurt me deeply, but they were right. Unfortunately.

In the following days and weeks, I lacked motivation and felt lethargic. I rarely went to university. I dozed off for many hours. I became more and more dull and numb. I no longer enjoyed conversations with my friends. Everything seemed flat and colorless. I returned to my hometown and visited my parents. Nowhere did I find inspiration for thinking. My fellow human beings were just as boring as I was.

After experiencing how interesting an evening of conversation could be, I realized that trivialities were doubly intrusive.

How could I bring some color into my dreary everyday life? Should I also become a world traveler so that I could tell stories of jungle adventures and cannibals? Should I uncover the secrets of the Inca Empire in South America before establishing myself in normalcy? I suffered. And no one in my familiar surroundings suffered with me.

Because no one had the depth to look into my soul. Only that one wonderful woman could do that. But I couldn't visit her anymore. Too much time had passed since her invitation. And now, I didn't want to see her anymore.

I was torn apart inside and desperate. As I indulged in melancholic thoughts again, a light bulb went off in my head. What kind of egoist was I! All this time, all these people believed in the prophecy without question because it had always been true before.

Maybe they didn't know that the prophecy didn't always come true? Perhaps everything had always been accurate until now, so they constantly believed they had an advantage over their fellow human beings.

Could I shatter this illusion for them? No.

But what if they took great risks based on their belief in the positive outcome of something predicted? My silence could put them in grave danger.

I had to warn them urgently.

This time, it was me who held the upper hand. My heart went out to these kind people who were willing to share with me the feeling of being a god...