To the north!

After a long night of rest, I prepare for my departure toward Mount Olympus, the domain of the gods. I'm not sure if it's a good idea to send me alone, but all the players of *War of Duty* are counting on me.

— "Are you ready yet? You mortals are so slow," says Noctua impatiently.

— "I finished preparing my belongings, we're good to go. Please try not to gather any attention while we sneak out."

— "Mortals can't see me; only those with a contract or enough spiritual energy can. The only one who could see me here is King Leonidas, so try not to draw unnecessary attention to yourself," orders Noctua.

On my way out, my stomach lets out an ear-piercing growl. Oh no, I drank too much alcohol yesterday, and now my insides are wrecked! I have to take a shit. Luckily, it's early enough that people might not be around at this time.

— "Hmm, I need to make a little detour, if you'd excuse me for a minute..." Another growl can be heard. "Or maybe 10!"

I rush to the nearest public bathroom. Just like the other places, this one is well-kept, and by the gods, there's no one here. I can't imagine how embarrassing it would be to have a conversation while in the toilets.

A few minutes pass, but an uninvited guest arrives—King Leonidas himself.

— "Good morning, hero Arthur. I see I'm not the only early bird," laughs Leonidas as he sits in the stall next to me.

— "He-Hello, King Leonidas, what a surprise! I was just about to leave. What a coincidence!" I got up and left as soon as I could, without even bothering to wipe before leaving.

— "What a strange hero. He's so dedicated to training that he didn't even wipe before leaving. I must follow his example of determination."

Meanwhile, on Mount Olympus, the gods are chained in a giant cell made specifically for them.

— "By myself! Is anyone here?" yells Zeus, king of the gods.

— "Can you not be so loud? Can't you see no one is coming?" responds Hera angrily.

— "If you put this much energy into finding a way out instead of bickering, maybe we'd have a chance to escape," scolds Poseidon.

— "Don't worry, father, because I asked for help, and my wish has been granted. Soon, someone will come to save us," smiles Athena proudly.

— "Who is coming? Is it my son, Heracles?? No, no, better—Odysseus and his army! No, even better! A future hero like Mel Gibson. I love his movies." Zeus shakes with excitement.

— "None of them. Half have been imprisoned, and Mel Gibson isn't a hero—he's just an actor. I called—Arthur Pindragon."

— "The king of England himself?! I'm so proud of you, my genius daughter!"

— "Wait a minute, isn't his name Arthur *Pendragon*? Don't tell me you summoned a complete stranger and a nobody here?" questions Hera.

— "Well... that's it."

— "What do you mean, 'that's it'? Send him back and call the real one!" orders Hera.

— "I can't. If I could, I would have done it sooner! I have no energy left. But rest assured, Noctua is with him."

— "If I could facepalm, trust me, I would. A nobody and a sassy owl... just our luck." Hera seems depressed.

From a distance, footsteps descending stairs can be heard. The shadow grows taller and taller as a creature with spikes all over its body approaches.

— "My, my, if it isn't my distant cousins awake," says a voice coming from the shadows.

The creature reveals itself—a tiny monster, as tall as a child but with a deep voice.

— "Typhon, so it was you all along," curses Zeus. "I should have tightened your chains if I had known this day was coming."

— "You were all too engulfed in parties and pleasure to notice we were slowly but surely escaping Tartarus. Oh my cousin, how shameful it is to see you in such a state," Typhon shakes his head.

— "Silence! You can't talk to us like that!"

— "No, now you can't diminish us like you always did! The tables have turned, cousins. Soon, your dear father will join us again. Yes, we will soon perform the ceremony, and Cronus will rule the world once more, just as he used to!"

— "By myself, you can't do that! He will betray you too, like he always intended!" Zeus tries to convince Typhon.

— "Don't worry, cousin. You'll have a happy family reunion very soon." Typhon goes upstairs, laughing loudly.

— "Curse the Titans... Athena, I hope your hero will arrive in time," says Zeus worriedly.

While the gods contemplate their fate, Arthur continues his journey toward Mount Olympus.

— "I'm so tired. It's been at least two hours! Why didn't you let me take the Trojan Horse 3000?" I ask Noctua, who is resting on my shoulder.

— "You don't want to draw attention to yourself so that every monster in the vicinity comes chasing after us?" says Noctua sarcastically.

— "Not even a tiny scooter?" I ask, desperate.

— "Shhh, hide yourself! A patrol of monsters is coming this way!" Noctua gestures toward the nearest bushes.

— "I can't stand the way Typhon orders us around. Do this, do that. We're monsters—we're not supposed to take orders like that," complains a boarman loudly.

— "You shouldn't talk about Lord Typhon like that; he could hear you," says the snakewoman, worried.

— "Aren't you on my side? I mean, look at us, in these weird armors... Do you think it's real leather? Seems fake to me," the boarman lifts his arm and inspects it thoroughly.

— "At least the gods and humans aren't hunting us down just for existing. Actually, I secretly dream of living in peace with humans," confides the snakewoman.

— "What a load of nonsense. Hey, I need to take a piss—just a moment," the boarman directs himself toward the bushes.

— "We have to move! He's about to piss on us!" I say urgently.

— "We can't! The mission will fail if we get spotted!" insists Noctua.

— "Tadadada, I'm singing in the rain!" sings the boarman. "Hey, I'm sure this would be a hit at the tavern. I must write the lyrics somewhere," he laughs.

— "Hurry up, we don't have time! If the general finds out we stopped, we'll be scolded like never before," the snakewoman trembles in fear.

— "Okay, okay, I'll make it quick," the boarman unzips his trousers.

I instinctively grab Noctua to shield myself from his piss. Even though she's a divine creature, I couldn't care less. It's her fault, after all. She didn't want to escape, so now we're trapped here.

A few seconds pass, and the guards leave in another direction. Both of us stay silent and still without moving. Noctua is dripping and seems to be in a state of shock.

— "Do you need pa—," I start to ask, but Noctua interrupts.

— "Shut up. Just... shut up."

We walk out of the bushes and continue our way toward Mount Olympus, not saying a single word to each other for a very long time.

— "You know, I won't tell anyone what I just saw. Promise," I say cheerfully to Noctua.

— "Shut up," the owl insults me again.