Prologue

"Ria your boyfriend is here!"

I hear my roommate's voice coming from the living room. I open my bedroom door and yell

"Tell him to go away!" I don't want anything to do with Matt anymore.

That lying bastard.

"Tell him yourself!" Lisa screams back and I hear her bedroom door slam shut.

I roll my eyes and slam my door shut. I should have known that she would say that.

She has always been a bitch, I don't even know why I put up with her.

I sleep on my bed again and pray the problem will disappear. He wasn't there when I wanted to talk to him so why should I be there when he wants to talk to me?

I know I am being childish but I don't care.

I hear a soft hesitant knock on my door and I immediately choose to ignore it and pretend to be sleeping.

The knocking stops after a while and then there is nothing but silence. I sigh in relief. Maybe he is gone.

"Come on Ria! Please talk to me." I hear him say before I hear my bedroom door open.

Looks like I spoke too soon. I know I should have locked that door.

I keep my back to him. I hear his footsteps approaching and then I feel a small shift on my bed meaning that he is sitting in it.

"I know you are awake. I heard you yelling a few minutes ago."

I don't respond.

"I'm sorry. I should have called." He says after a heavy sigh.

I am so pissed off that I give up on the silent treatment. I get up and I give him the biggest glare I can master.

"That's an improvement at least you are looking at me now."

He says with a nervous smile. The bastard has the nerve to joke when I am mad.

I get off the bed and go stand in front of my door trying to get as far away from him as possible.

"No Matthew. You shouldn't have called, you shouldn't have stood me up and made me look like an idiot in front of my parents!"

I take a deep breath hoping that it will calm me down but it doesn't so I continue

"If you did not want to come all you had to do was say so. I asked you over and over again and you assured me you would make it. I haven't heard from you for two weeks and you think a phone call would have fixed it?"

He runs his fingers through his hair. He always does this when he is nervous.

"Look Ria I know I messed up and I am sorry. I have been going through some stuff. I didn't mean to disappear on you."

I cross my arms across my chest. I will not forgive him this time, not until he tells me the truth.

"What kind of stuff? What is so important that you went missing on your girlfriend for two whole weeks?"

I say putting emphasis on two and waving my index and middle finger in the air.

I can see he is having some kind of internal struggle. His deep blue eyes are pleading with me almost like he wants me to forget I asked this question, but I can't take it anymore. Matt has been behaving very strangely these couple of months and is beginning to strain our relationship.

This is not the first time he has stood me up on our plans and it's not the first time he had disappeared without telling me. It is, however, the longest he has gone and he knew how important it was for me that he meet my parents.

I'm done with his drama. He needs to start putting me first.

"I can't tell you. I am sorry." He says in defeat.

It's that moment that brings the nagging thoughts I have been having since he left.

"It's Julie isn't it?" I whispered.

I don't want it to be true but it is the only explanation that makes sense.

He gets up from my bed and makes his way to me.

"Stay the hell away from me!" I shout while backing away from him. He immediately stops and has a pained expression on his face.

"Ria this has nothing to do with her. I promise."

"Well, I don't care if you pinky promise. If you were not with Julie Davis then where the hell were you!"

As you can tell I have already lost my cool a long time ago. I am just angry that he keeps lying to me all the time.

"Babe Julie means nothing to me I have already told you that."

"That didn't stop you from kissing her did it?"

He pinches the bridge of his nose and turns his back from me. A sign that he too has lost his cool.

"I already told you she kissed me. I never kissed her back and that is the reason I told you about it. How long are you going to punish me for?"

"Then look me in the eye and tell me what is going on with you!" I scream in frustration.

He keeps his back to me. My anger is slowly melting and in its place sadness and heartache builds.

I can't believe that he doesn't trust me enough to tell me what is bothering him. It hurts so much. I slowly walk up to him and put my hand on his shoulder.

"Please talk to me don't shut me out." I plead with him my voice so soft it's barely above a whisper.

He violently shakes my hand off his shoulder and turns around to face me

"Can't you see! I have no one left but you! I am doing all of this for you!"

He shouts before he walks back to my bed and sits there with his head between his hands.

I hesitantly walk up to him. I am very surprised by his outburst. What does he mean by all that?

"He knows everything about me. Nowhere is safe. He hears everything."

I kneel in front of him and push his blond hair away from his face. I don't know what he is talking about but it is scaring me.

"Who is he"Ria your boyfriend is here!"

I hear my roommate's voice coming from the living room. I open my bedroom door and yell

"Tell him to go away!" I don't want anything to do with Matt anymore.

That lying bastard.

"Tell him yourself!" Lisa screams back and I hear her bedroom door slam shut.

I roll my eyes and slam my door shut. I should have known that she would say that.

She has always been a bitch, I don't even know why I put up with her.

I sleep on my bed again and pray the problem will disappear. He wasn't there when I wanted to talk to him so why should I be there when he wants to talk to me?

I know I am being childish but I don't care.

I hear a soft hesitant knock on my door and I immediately choose to ignore it and pretend to be sleeping.

The knocking stops after a while and then there is nothing but silence. I sigh in relief. Maybe he is gone.

"Come on Ria! Please talk to me." I hear him say before I hear my bedroom door open.

Looks like I spoke too soon. I know I should have locked that door.

I keep my back to him. I hear his footsteps approaching and then I feel a small shift on my bed meaning that he is sitting in it.

"I know you are awake. I heard you yelling a few minutes ago."

I don't respond.

"I'm sorry. I should have called." He says after a heavy sigh.

I am so pissed off that I give up on the silent treatment. I get up and I give him the biggest glare I can master.

"That's an improvement at least you are looking at me now."

He says with a nervous smile. The bastard has the nerve to joke when I am mad.

I get off the bed and go stand in front of my door trying to get as far away from him as possible.

"No Matthew. You shouldn't have called, you shouldn't have stood me up and made me look like an idiot in front of my parents!"

I take a deep breath hoping that it will calm me down but it doesn't so I continue

"If you did not want to come all you had to do was say so. I asked you over and over again and you assured me you would make it. I haven't heard from you for two weeks and you think a phone call would have fixed it?"

He runs his fingers through his hair. He always does this when he is nervous.

"Look Ria I know I messed up and I am sorry. I have been going through some stuff. I didn't mean to disappear on you."

I cross my arms across my chest. I will not forgive him this time, not until he tells me the truth.

"What kind of stuff? What is so important that you went missing on your girlfriend for two whole weeks?"

I say putting emphasis on two and waving my index and middle finger in the air.

I can see he is having some kind of internal struggle. His deep blue eyes are pleading with me almost like he wants me to forget I asked this question, but I can't take it anymore. Matt has been behaving very strangely these couple of months and is beginning to strain our relationship.

This is not the first time he has stood me up on our plans and it's not the first time he had disappeared without telling me. It is, however, the longest he has gone and he knew how important it was for me that he meet my parents.

I'm done with his drama. He needs to start putting me first.

"I can't tell you. I am sorry." He says in defeat.

It's that moment that brings the nagging thoughts I have been having since he left.

"It's Julie isn't it?" I whispered.

I don't want it to be true but it is the only explanation that makes sense.

He gets up from my bed and makes his way to me.

"Stay the hell away from me!" I shout while backing away from him. He immediately stops and has a pained expression on his face.

"Ria this has nothing to do with her. I promise."

"Well, I don't care if you pinky promise. If you were not with Julie Davis then where the hell were you!"

As you can tell I have already lost my cool a long time ago. I am just angry that he keeps bullshitting me all the time.

"Babe Julie means nothing to me I have already told you that."

"That didn't stop you from kissing her did it?"

He pinches the bridge of his nose and turns his back from me. A sign that he too has lost his cool.

"I already told you she kissed me. I never kissed her back and that is the reason I told you about it. How long are you going to punish me for?"

"Then look me in the eye and tell me what is going on with you!" I scream in frustration.

He keeps his back to me. My anger is slowly melting and in its place sadness and heartache builds.

I can't believe that he doesn't trust me enough to tell me what is bothering him. It hurts so much. I slowly walk up to him and put my hand on his shoulder.

"Please talk to me don't shut me out." I plead with him my voice so soft it's barely above a whisper.

He violently shakes my hand off his shoulder and turns around to face me

"Can't you see! I have no one left but you! I am doing all of this for you!"

He shouts before he walks back to my bed and sits there with his head between his hands.

I hesitantly walk up to him. I am very surprised by his outburst. What does he mean by all that?

"He knows everything about me. Nowhere is safe. He hears everything."

I kneel in front of him and push his blond hair away from his face. I don't know what he is talking about but it is scaring me.

"Who is he?

I ask, a frown forming on my face.

He keeps chanting “it's not safe” over and over again.

"Matt tell me what's wrong, please. We can fix it together I promise."

He slowly lifts his head and looks at me and I see the same internal struggle I saw earlier it's as if he is trying to believe what I am saying.

"I have already said too much. I have to go I can still fix this. I just have to do what he says."

He stands up and makes his way toward my door but I stop him.

"Wait! You can't leave like this. Who are you talking about?"

I am on the verge of tears now I just don't understand why he is acting like this or how to help him.

He stops and looks at me. He grabs my face and the next thing I know he is kissing me.

He is kissing me like he had never kissed me before. His lips for some reason are cold against my warm lips. He forces my lips apart and his hot tongue invades my mouth. He is kissing me with so much desperation that I can't help but kiss him back with the same fire. I snake my arms around his neck and my fingers find their way into his hair. His hands grip at my waist so tightly it almost hurts.

And just as quickly as it began it ended.

"Matt." That is all I manage to whisper while still trying to catch my breath.

"I will fix this." That is all he says and before I can stop him he is gone.

I don't know what he is talking about but I have this feeling deep in my gut that something is seriously wrong with him.

Whatever it is I will help him get through it and if I can't I will die trying.?

I ask, a frown forming on my face.

He keeps chanting it's not safe over and over again.

"Matt tell me what's wrong, please. We can fix it together I promise."

He slowly lifts his head and looks at me and I see the same internal struggle I saw earlier it's as if he is trying to believe what I am saying.

"I have already said too much. I have to go I can still fix this. I just have to do what he says."

He stands up and makes his way toward my door but I stop him.

"Wait! You can't leave like this. Who are you talking about?"

I am on the verge of tears now I just don't understand why he is acting like this or how to help him.

He stops and looks at me. He grabs my face and the next thing I know he is kissing me.

He is kissing me like he had never kissed me before. His lips for some reason are cold against my warm lips. He forces my lips apart and his hot tongue invades my mouth. He is kissing me with so much desperation that I can't help but kiss him back with the same fire. I snake my arms around his neck and my fingers find their way into his hair. His hands grip at my waist so tightly it almost hurts.

And just as quickly as it began it ended.

"Matt." That is all I manage to whisper while still trying to catch my breath.

"I will fix this." That is all he says and before I can stop him he is gone.

I don't know what he is talking about but I have this feeling deep in my gut that something is seriously wrong with him.

Whatever it is I will help him get through it and if I can't I will die trying.