Episode 28

By now, the tavern was in utter chaos. The line outside had grown impossibly long, with more townspeople joining every second, clutching their stomachs and groaning in pain as the curse forced them to seek immediate relief. I had resigned myself to my fate as Lavatoria's makeshift public restroom, though every time someone sat down or used my new urinal-hands, I felt a new wave of disgust and trauma.

But despite the horror, the magical power inside me continued to grow. My body was practically glowing at this point, and the water magic I had discovered earlier seemed to be getting stronger with every dump that passed through me. I could feel the magic surging beneath my surface, but the weight of the experience was starting to wear me down.

Nixie, standing beside me with a sympathetic look on her face, placed a hand on my lid. **"Hang in there, Jake. It's almost over. Once everyone's relieved themselves, the curse should run its course."

"I don't know how much more of this I can take," I muttered, feeling my porcelain body practically vibrating with the energy I had absorbed. **"I'm at my breaking point."

Ursha, who had been trying to keep the crowd under control, stepped forward with a grim expression. **"There's still a lot of people left. But you're handling it… well, better than I would have expected."

I rolled my eyes (or at least, I would have if I had any). **"Gee, thanks."

Just then, another surge of people rushed in, pushing past the crowd at the door and making a beeline straight for me. They all had the same desperate look in their eyes, and I could already tell that I was about to be put through another round of cursed dumps.

"This is never going to end," I groaned, bracing myself for what was coming next.

As more and more people used me, the magical energy inside me continued to build. I could feel it swirling around, growing stronger with every second, until it reached a point where I thought I might burst.

Then, just as the last person in line finished their turn, I felt something inside me snap.

A massive wave of magical power surged through my porcelain body, sending a blinding flash of light throughout the entire tavern. The air crackled with energy as the ground beneath me trembled, and I could feel the magic coursing through me in a way that was both exhilarating and terrifying.

"What's happening?" Nixie asked, her eyes wide with shock as she stepped back.

I could barely respond. The magic inside me was overwhelming, too strong to contain. The water magic I had tapped into earlier had reached a whole new level, and I could feel my bidet powers evolving into something far more dangerous. My urinal-hands were glowing now, pulsing with magical energy, and I could feel the strength building in them as well.

Before I could even comprehend what was happening, a torrent of water magic erupted from me. A powerful jet of water shot out from beneath me, blasting a hole through the far wall of the tavern. The sheer force of it sent debris flying, and several townspeople dove for cover as the wave of magical water surged through the room.

"Jake!" Nixie shouted over the roar of the water. **"You're going to take the whole place down if you keep doing that!"

I tried to stop the flow, but the power inside me had reached a point where it was almost impossible to control. The water magic was too strong, and every time I tried to reign it in, another surge would burst forth, sending even more jets of water flying across the room.

The tavern was quickly becoming flooded, and the remaining patrons scrambled to escape the rising tide of magical water. I could hear people shouting and cursing as they waded through the ankle-deep water, trying to reach the exit.

As if the water magic wasn't bad enough, my urinal-hands suddenly activated again. This time, instead of their usual function, they began to emit streams of glowing liquid magic that shot in all directions, knocking over tables, chairs, and anything else in their path. The energy coursing through them was wild, untamed, and I had no idea how to control it.

One of the patrons, a burly man who had been drinking at the bar, got caught in the crossfire and was knocked off his feet by a blast of liquid magic from my urinal-hand. He landed in a heap, groaning as he tried to pull himself back up.

"Sorry!" I called out, though at this point, I wasn't sure if there was any way to apologize for what was happening. **"I don't know how to stop this!"

Nixie and Ursha both ran over to me, dodging the errant jets of water and magical liquid shooting from my hands.

"Jake, you've got to calm down!" Nixie shouted, grabbing hold of one of my urinal-hands and trying to steady it. **"You're out of control!"

"I'm trying!" I shouted back, though it felt like the power inside me had completely taken on a life of its own. Every attempt I made to stop the flow of magic only seemed to make things worse.

Ursha, her expression grim, stepped up beside me and placed a hand on my porcelain frame. **"Focus, Jake. You've leveled up so much, but you've got to control it. You're stronger than this."

I took a deep breath (or the toilet equivalent of one) and tried to center myself, focusing on the swirling energy inside me. Slowly, gradually, I could feel the power begin to stabilize. The wild jets of water and magical liquid started to slow, and the chaotic bursts from my urinal-hands began to fade.

After what felt like an eternity, the flow of water stopped entirely. The tavern was a mess, flooded, damaged, and littered with debris, but at least the worst of it was over.

The tavern was eerily quiet after the magical chaos finally settled down. The few remaining patrons, soaked and dazed, slowly got to their feet, looking around in disbelief at the damage. The water had flooded most of the room, and the walls were pockmarked with holes from where my magic had blasted through.

"Well," Nixie said, wiping water from her face and giving me a wry smile. **"That was something."

Ursha grunted in agreement, looking around at the destruction with a raised eyebrow. **"You've definitely leveled up, Jake. Now if you can just learn to control it."

I sighed, feeling the exhaustion of the day finally catching up to me. "I didn't ask for any of this," I muttered. **"I just wanted to be a normal toilet."

"That ship sailed a long time ago," Nixie said with a laugh. **"But hey, at least you've got some pretty impressive new powers now."

I couldn't argue with that. The trauma of the day aside, I had definitely gained new abilities, my water magic was stronger than ever, and my urinal-hands were now something I could (probably) use to my advantage. Still, I wasn't exactly thrilled about the way it had all happened.

"Let's just get out of here," I said, rolling toward the exit as the water sloshed around my wheels. **"I've had enough of this curse for one day."

As we made our way out of the tavern, I couldn't help but wonder what other absurdities were waiting for me in this ridiculous world. But for now, at least, the curse had run its course, and I was still standing. Or, well, rolling.

The streets outside the tavern were eerily quiet, as if the entire town had experienced a collective sigh of relief after the curse had finally run its course. People who had been clutching their stomachs in agony were now stumbling back to their homes, drained both physically and emotionally. It seemed like everyone in Lavatoria had been hit by the curse, and I had been the unwilling hero of the hour, though I wasn't exactly sure if "hero" was the right word for what I'd endured.

Nixie and Ursha walked beside me as we made our way down the street, leaving the chaos of the tavern behind. The flooded building still echoed with the groans of the few remaining patrons, and I could hear the occasional sound of someone trying to bail out the water I had unleashed in my magical overload. The damage was significant, and I wasn't sure how long it would take the tavern to recover from the incident, but at least the worst of the curse seemed to be over.

"That was… something else," Nixie said, her voice heavy with exhaustion as she wiped her face. **"I don't think I've ever seen anything like that before. I mean, a town-wide poop curse? Who comes up with that?"

"It's Lavatoria," Ursha grumbled. **"It was bound to happen sooner or later."

I rolled along in silence, still processing everything I had been through. My porcelain frame still glowed faintly with residual magic, and though I had gained new abilities like powerful water magic and urinal hands, the trauma of the day was impossible to shake.

"I've seen a lot of weird things," I finally said, my voice low, **"but this… this was by far the worst."

Nixie gave me a sympathetic look. **"You really powered up, though. I mean, you blasted a hole through a wall with your water magic! That's something, right?"

I let out a heavy sigh. **"Sure, if you want to look on the bright side. But I can't help but feel like the price was way too high. Do you know how many people took a dump in me today? I've lost count."

Ursha chuckled, though there was a hint of empathy in her eyes. **"Look at it this way: at least you won't have to deal with it again. The curse is over, and we survived. You gained new abilities, even if the process was… less than ideal."

"I guess so," I muttered, though the memory of the day's events still made my porcelain body shudder.

Just as we were about to turn the corner and head back to the inn for some much-needed rest, a familiar voice echoed through the street. "Jake! My love!"

I groaned audibly as the succubus appeared in a puff of smoke, her eyes gleaming with the same desire I had come to dread. She was dressed even more provocatively than before, her black dress clinging to her curves in ways that seemed designed to drive me mad with embarrassment. Her long, flowing hair billowed behind her as she floated toward me, a look of pure adoration on her face.

"Oh, not her again," Nixie muttered, rolling her eyes.

Ursha crossed her arms, clearly not in the mood for another showdown. **"What do you want this time, succubus?"

The succubus, completely ignoring Nixie and Ursha, floated right up to me, her fingers trailing along my porcelain surface as she smiled sweetly. **"Jake, my dearest, I've been thinking about you all day. I felt your surge of power from miles away, and I just knew I had to come see you. You're even more powerful now than ever before… and I want all of it."

I backed up as far as I could, trying to put some distance between us. **"Look, I've had a really rough day. I'm not in the mood for… whatever this is."

But the succubus was relentless. She pressed herself against me, her hands tracing the outline of my glowing porcelain appendage as she leaned in closer. **"Don't be shy, Jake. You and I are meant to be together. With your infinite magical energy, we could rule Lavatoria together. No one could stop us."

Nixie groaned loudly. **"She never gives up, does she?"

"Nope," I muttered, trying to roll away.

Ursha, ever the practical one, stepped forward and yanked the succubus away from me. **"Listen, lady. Jake isn't interested, and we're all too tired for this nonsense. If you don't leave now, things are going to get ugly."

The succubus pouted, but before she could protest, a strange rumbling sound echoed from the distance. It was faint at first, but it quickly grew louder, and we all turned to see a large group of townspeople, people who had already used me earlier, rushing toward us, their faces filled with panic.

"No way," I whispered in disbelief. **"Not again…"

The townspeople, still clearly under the effects of the curse, were heading straight for me. They needed to go, and they needed to go now. I could see the desperation in their eyes as they realized I was their only hope for relief.

"Oh, for the love of, " Nixie started, but she was cut off as the first wave of people reached me.

"Jake! We need you!" one of them cried, clutching their stomach.

I sighed, resigned to my fate. **"Fine. Just get it over with."

The succubus, who had been momentarily distracted by the approaching crowd, floated back toward me with a sly grin. **"See, Jake? They all need you. And so do I."

Before I could respond, the townspeople took turns using me, each one adding to the already overwhelming amount of magical energy inside me. The power surge was immediate, and I could feel myself leveling up again, though this time it felt less like a victory and more like a punishment.

As the last of the townspeople finished, I slumped in place, exhausted beyond belief. My porcelain body was practically vibrating with magic, but I was too tired to care.

"I don't know how much more of this I can take," I muttered, my voice weak.

The succubus floated beside me, her eyes gleaming with admiration. **"You're incredible, Jake. There's no one else like you."

Nixie and Ursha, both visibly annoyed by the entire ordeal, exchanged glances before pulling me away from the crowd.

"Let's get him out of here before something even worse happens," Nixie said, already leading the way.

Ursha nodded, grabbing my handle and helping me roll away. **"Come on, Jake. We'll find you a quiet spot where you can rest… and hopefully, where no one will take another dump in you."

I sighed with relief, grateful to have survived yet another bizarre and traumatic day in Lavatoria.