Breathe in, breathe out

"Return immediately once you've disposed the trash." Dr. Natalie commanded. "There are more trash to dispose today."

Elion nodded and exited the office, towards the hallway.

"See you tomorrow." The guard at the entrance greeted him. 

"Dr. Natalie told me to come back." 

"Come back?!" the guard's gaze traveled towards the garbage bag Elion was carrying, shaking his head from side to side. "There's more?"

Today too, there was a trash. 

Today too, he buried somebody.

He returned immediately to the doctor, making his face as blank as possible.

"It's in the lab." Dr. Natalie opened her drawer, took a key, and stood up. "Follow me."

The doctor led the way as Elion followed like a shadow, they went down, heading towards the library.

They were welcomed by Dr. Natalie's twin sister, Duchess Puppy, the librarian.

But it was not a warm welcome, though they may have the same face, Duchess Puppy seemed older, but softer, more natural compared to her perfect sister who has a flawless and bright skin. 

They headed towards the desk. 

"I told you not to come when I'm in here!" Duchess Poppy hissed. "That was the deal."

"I can go to the queen right now and tell her about your other library."

"You would not dare." Duchess Poppy's face crumpled. "I can go to the queen and tell her about you EXPERIMENTS."

"Don't be so dramatic my dear sister, we will just clean up and go our way." Dr. Natalie sighted. "You don't want your precious library to smell like… trash like?"

Duchess Puppy waved a hand in the air. "Make it fast." she slid the table upwards, making way for them to enter.

Dr. Natalie went straight towards the back door. "You know what I do to attendants that talk right?" she turned the knob, walking inside. "I make them into trash."

Inside was a small space just enough to fit two people, in front was another door. Fishing her key on her pocket, she opened the door. 

There, revealing her laboratory.

All the fixtures were made of steel. There were rows of steel bunk beds, all are empty. There were also floor to ceiling sliding cabinets on both sides of the wall, each labeled by numbers. Elion hoped that these were empty too.

There was a large aisle of sink made out of steel too, there was no sign that it was recently used--- no splashed water of blood anywhere, no used equipment left on the sink. 

The place was actually the opposite of the doctor's office, it was clean and odorless--- too clean for Elion's taste. 

The lab was quite big, almost as big as the wards. Walking towards the end of the room, there was a steel bed, and something was covered by a white cloth. Anybody would be able to tell that it was the body of a person, from as the cloth was wrapped tightly onto the body, revealing it's silhouette—Elion could also see that it was a woman. 

Something hissed at the corner, chains clacking. 

Elion immediately ran towards it before the doctor could even stop him. 

The cage was made out of steel too, it was a size for a big dog, but there inside was a man instead. No, at a second glance, Elion could confirm that it was a zombie.

"Don't come closer to that." Dr. Natalie's heels clicked on the floor. "Unless you want to be one."

"This is my study room." Dr. Natalie explained. "For years, I've been looking for the water of the gods." She walked around. "I think you would agree with me that the vaccine is too monopolized, I just want to level the field. But after years of research, I still haven't found the formula. But there's no need to worry, I have more than a lifetime to figure it out."

"I can make you my attendant if you like and assist me in studying the secret of the water of the gods."

"I can do both, work for you and the princess."

"Fair point, for now you can be my cleaning boy." Dr. Natalie rounded the area. "Number… thirteen, dispose of it."

Elion obliged and cremated a person in the palace for the third time.

***

Elion was shoved onto the wall in an instant, Lord Ziloh pinning him on the neck. "I was wrong about you." Ziloh smirked, tightening his hold into Elion's neck. "You're much more useless that I thought."

Elion cannot breathe, he was trying to pull free from the hold, but the Lord's hold was like a steel on his throat. 

"You failed her." Lord Ziloh's eyes was shifting from black to red. "You have only one job, and you failed her. " 

"Eli," Lord Ziloh closed his eyes for a second, once he opened it again, it returned back to black. "I'll make sure not to hear your name on her lips again." He released Elion from his hold.

Lord Ziloh was gone in an instant. 

Elion coughed from the lack of oxygen and took a deep breath, holding himself back on his two feet. 

He began walking in the hallway rubbing his neck, thinking it would leave a mark.

'What was that?' Elion did not waste his time thinking what the disturbed Lord did, he had more pressing matters to attend to. 

The information Ziloh had gotten was so big that Brian had to be informed immediately.

As soon as he finished cleaning up, with a certain bump on his way, Elion rushed towards the kitchen to find Maya.

He rushed inside, all the female attendants squealed from his appearance, he grabbed and led Maya outside. 

"What is wrong with you!" Maya snapped her hand back away. "They will think we're dating or something… "

Elion did not hear what she said.

"I found it. Brian has to know immediately."

Maya suddenly turned serious, all other matters gone. "What."

Ziloh told her everything he saw. 

"I'll get to it," Maya nodded. "After I finished all the dishes."

Maya went back to the kitchen as the attendants squealed, teasing her. 

***

Alyssa does not feel hungry, so she did not find any reason to go out of her room, if she won't go out of her room, she did not find any reason to take a bath. She was curled up on her bed, her eyes closed, burning from absence of sleep, but her mind does not allow her to sleep. She was tired, but restless. 

It was her fault. All her life she had been inside the palace, the truth was always just in front of her, but she chose to turn a blind eye. Unknowingly, maybe, but it should not be an excuse. This was not what Alyssa was concerned about, this was not about the fear of being eaten to death. What kept her awake last night was her lack of… anger. She should have felt betrayed, she should even have felt disgusted, but no. Deep in her heart, she still loved her mother the same. 

Even if everyone who she considers dear turns out to be a… monster…she knew she still loves them the same. She understood her mother why things were kept to her, she was young--- and still is. And completing the ceremony would change that, everything will be revealed to her at the right time. There was no need to rush, there was no need to listen to the words of those from the slumps. There are reasons why such rules are place, such secrecy, she should have known better, as the princess of this kingdom. 

Her heartbeat slowed, her breathing became even. She opened her nightstand and took her cassette player and a new tape. Compared to the previous ones, there was no songs listed on the new tape's casing. Alyssa would just have to wonder eternally what that title and who were the artist of the songs she was about to listen to. 

Music calms her down, even the loud once. It was because she does not only listen to the melody, she listens to the lyrics too--- and that makes her mind occupied, away from her room, transporting back to the time before--- a time that was only alive through her imagination. 

She popped her earphones on her ears and pressed play, she closed her eyes, preparing herself to be immersed with the melody, imagining the singers performing right in front of her. 

But her eyes flew open after hearing a voice. She paused the tape, blinking, confused of what she just heard. 

There was no drum, nor guitars, nor whatever instruments out there. 

There was only a voice of a woman, and she was not signing. She was simply…talking.

Though taken aback, her curiosity was much bigger, so Alyssa decided to rewind it and to listen to it more.

"Entry one. It's…. January twelve, twenty twenty. I know it's my new year's resolution to make a journal. It's supposed to be an everyday thing and it's supposed to be written. But! I refuse to be like others so I decided to make a voice journal and let me tweak a little bit of my new year resolution. It's not going to be a daily thing to. I mean, my daily life is boring, no need to log everything out. I decided to start this anyways just to prevent some Cortisol and hopefully to release some Serotonin. Anyways, I'm going to pretend that I'm talking to a friend, because I am currently walking towards the kitchen, holding this old tape dad gave me for Christmas. Between you and me, I think dad is disposing all of his old stuff, this thing looks old." The woman's voice became muffled. "this thing looks used as hell. Anyways nothing much had happened, I was at my parent's place during the holidays. And we're planning this crazy, and I really mean crazy project at work. This is something big and if we succeed… life would change the way we knew it. " her voice became cleared again. "the most depressing thing that I have for you right now is I'm still single! Three years of being single. Hopefully I could change that this year. This year will be a good one, I just could feel it. So I'm thingking of meeting with…"

With her earphones on, and the tape rolling, Alyssa fell asleep, the woman's voice as her lullaby.