I’m Santa?
After the elf managed to catch his breath he comes over to me, clearly keeping his distance as if he's scared that I will break free and get him again. "Mr Claus…..sir what has gotten into you? One moment you were sound asleep then next your acting crazy".
"Who the hell is this Santa Claus person.. where in the hell am I and what have you done to my cultivation base" the elf looks at me confused "how about you calm down and we can talk about this okay…" I look at the elf and ponder, I decide to give him a chance to explain "get these runts off me then sure let's talk".
As I got up from being pinned down I go back and sit in the chair I awoke from "okay so speak… where am I?" The elf looks at me and sighs in relief that I've calmed down "well mr Claus sir" "DO not Call me Santa or Claus or whatever call me Zhou Taiyuan" "sorry mr Zhou Taiyuan sir … your at the North Pole". I look at the elf questioningly "where is the North Pole? Is that in the upper heavens or the lower realm?" The elf looks at me confused "it's on earth Mr Zhou sir at the very top of the planet" .
I look at one of the elf's at the side "you go get me a map of this earth" the elf bows and runs away to go get one "okay we will come back to that, what did you do to my cultivation", the elf looks at me even more confused than before "what is cultivation mr Zhou sir?", "what do you mean what is cultivation, even mortals who have no talent or that have been hidden away for centuries know what cultivation is" the elf looks at me with an apologetic look "I'm sorry sir but I have never heard of it, do you mind explain it to me?", for the next 10 minutes I explained the basics of cultivation to the elf and how I was about to break through to the god realm when I awoke here.
"I'm sorry sir but nothing like that exists on this planet at most we only have some slight magic but it takes years to even grasp, we only have one person here that can use some magic but all he can do is make our reindeer fly once a year for Christmas. Which is where you come in Santa… I mean Zhou Taiyuan sir", "bring me this person who can use magic I wish to meet him… and who is this Santa character you keep calling me"
"Well mr Zhou sir, you are Santa or at least you were…. He brings joy to every boy and girl on earth at Christmas giving gifts and spreading joy to all."..... "so let me get this straight your saying I'm this Santa character that gives gifts to every little child on this plant called earth? What do I get out of it?", "nothing sir just the pleasure of bringing joy to all".