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Illusion Is Reality: Gravity Falls

Gravity falls fan wakes up as Bill Cypher, gets OP, other shit. Disclaimer, I do not own Gravity Falls. This fic is inspired by things said by Alex Hirsch, many fanart and fanfics I’ve seen. There will be pop culture references, there will be song lyrics, there will be memes. You have been warned. I wanted to try something different, how well I succeed is up to debate... . . . . . . .

Mlzuum4 · TV
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181 Chs

-There’s always the next generation-

---

After escaping from Pyronica during another attempt to talk me into at least giving Dating a try I just floated out in space thinking to myself. Specifically, on the subject of my form and body. The 'human' form I take is pretty much based on me from my first life. It's all well and good but...isn't that kind of boring? I can literally create any form I want after all. Why stick to Miz's tiny little girl appearance?

Why haven't I tried making an actual HumanBill form yet? It seemed obvious. It might even be fun. I create a mirror and just look at myself. What would Bill look like as a human? I've seen so many fanarts with other people's interpretations of a human Bill Cipher. Heck, I've seen Alex Hirsch's glorious abomination of a Human Bill. But what do I think Bill would look like? What if I just reshape this triangle into a human shape and add skin and hair? That would be the most accurate yes?

Slowly my triangular body began morphing. It grew and shifted until there was a clear distinction between my head and torso. My arms and legs fleshed out into actual limbs instead of noodles. I sprouted hair, ears and a mouth. My ears grew a little too much since I was distracted trying to form my mouth. I wiggled them, long and sort of pointed? I decided I liked them well enough so I let them be. I blinked rapidly and wiggled my limbs. This felt weird. Transforming so slowly. My torso continued to stretch out and I formed a pelvis. My sides pushed out to form shoulders.

A head, neck, shoulders, arms, chest, stomach, hips, legs...watching myself change in front of the mirror was so erotic. Curse my weird fetish. It didn't help that I was naked. It was odd seeing my Piece as a fleshed out creature. I was humanoid but CLEARLY not human. I still only had one eye and my skin still had some bricks jutting out of it here and there. I held up my hand to look at my four fingers, long, thin and weird.

The parts of my skin that were 'flesh' was a much paler yellow than my bright golden bricks, my legs kept some of my black color though. It felt soft and squishy just like real human skin. I didn't have nipples or a belly button. Running my hands down my new form I inspected myself curiously. I still had both my Piece and Slot. No butthole, which made sense considering I've never had one as a triangle and I've kept my genitals the same. My Piece wasn't a flat oval anymore. It was 3 dimensional now, like the rest of this fleshy body. It kept its ability to extend and retract inside me too.

(((((((((((((NSFW-Things get a bit TOO detailed from this point on, also, masturbation.)))))))))))))))))))

I played with it a little. Pulling it out slowly and pushing it back in, it was cylindrical now, smooth to the touch and looked nothing like a human penis. Perfectly smooth with no bumps or openings. Like an oval rod or an elongated egg, which was technically what my Piece actually IS so...yeah? It was stiff but squishy to the touch. Oh my god, I just realized my Piece looks like a featureless dildo. I was pretty turned on just playing with myself. Good thing I was floating in a completely empty part of space. No one around for billions of light years.

I sure hoped no one could see me…

My Slot was essentially the shape of my Piece but reversed. I could probably fit an actual dick in there now. The thought of it made me uncomfortable. My Slot extended inside me. The flesh around the edges could sort of close around my opening. I traced my fingers along the edges, floating closer to the mirror and tilting my crotch up to inspect it. Well it looked nothing like a vagina aside from being my equivalent there of. I gently pressed my skin apart to see a narrow circular hole. It looked too thin to fit my Piece's girth and I frowned at it. Perhaps it stretched wider during clicking?

I rub my finger in circles around my entrance. I have never put anything inside me. Even when masturbating, I've never once inserted anything inside myself. The thought of doing so, even if it was done by me just felt...wrong. While I was curious about the functions of my slot, I just couldn't bring myself to explore fully.

This body was more sensitive than my triangle form though. Even just tracing the entrance of my slot without inserting anything already sent pleasant tingles along my skin. My Piece extended fully, calling for attention. I wrapped a hand around it, my long fingers easily encircling it and began to jerk myself off. Ooh~ definitely more sensitive. I panted softly as every stroke of my Piece made my bricks burn with heat. My free hand traced the bricks along my chest. "Ahh!" I cried out at the unexpected pleasure.

Most of this body was fleshy but I had some bricks along my wrists, thigh and chest. They were glowing as the heat within me rose. I rubbed my hand along the hot bricks on my chest. "S-shit~that's...really nice~" I gasp breathlessly. I gave my Piece a long, drawn out stroke and mewled desperately. I was burning up all over and it just felt so freakin' good.

I spend a good amount of time just teasing myself. Stroking to bring myself close to the edge and then slowing down before I can actually peak. It was an oddly pleasant way to torture myself. I started talking dirty to my reflection.

"Hah~you jus-just want to get off d-don't you?" I gasp at my reflection. My bricks were glowing like the sun itself even as my skin flushed orange. "Y-you're just burning up inside hah~ an...and you just want to let it aaaaall~ out don't you?" I moaned as my fingers continued to tease my Piece.

Edging wasn't too bad of an experience. Sure it was agonizing to be so close to an orgasm only to be denied that one final stroke to tip me over, but it felt so good to tease myself. I mewled pathetically and bucked my new hips into my hand. Did this count as sadism or masochism? I was torturing myself and getting off on it.

My eye started tearing up as my moans grew more and more desperate. Please. Please. Just let me get off. Oh god please! I started sobbing as my hand continued to play with my Piece cruelly. How fucked up do I have to be to do this to myself? I sobbed as my hips rocked faster and faster, every part of me was burning and it felt so good but it also hurt so much. I couldn't take it anymore. I thrust my Piece into my hand as fast as I could. Both hands were on my Piece now, squeezing tightly in a way that should be painful but I didn't care.

My cries were getting louder as I sobbed and screamed. Begging, pleading and desperate. Finally I came.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Ok, we're done here))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

My whole body shuddered as my Piece clicked off. It flew forwards to hit the mirror, bounced off and then smacked me in the face.

"EMLEAH?!?!?"

I screamed incoherently and clenched my hands around my eye. Fuck! Fuuuuuck! Ffffffffffuck! That fuckin' hurt! God fucking dammit! Why the EYE?! It's gonna take so long to regenerate that!

As I screamed expletives out into the void of space I decided I probably shouldn't try masturbating again for a while. At least not in a form where I can shoot projectiles. It's probably unsafe for everyone involved.

---

Once I sufficiently healed myself, I put clothes on this body and examined myself properly.

Well...I'm cute right? The elf ears were kind of ridiculous and using my true form as a base made for some strange anatomy but...yeah? I'd say this is kind of like a human Bill Cipher? It was certainly cute in a strange Cyclops sort of way. For a moment I considered showing this form to my friends but ultimately decided not to.

It still felt a little too personal. But...maybe someday...

---

"Ow!"

I immediately blink to Pyronica's side, already fussing over her. "Are you alright? Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine Bill~" she rolls her eye at me, there's a biscuit on the ground besides her, looks like she's been attempting to cook again. "One of my teeth just fell out." She shows me the large misshapen bone.

"Oh. Well was it from the bottom of your mouth or the top?"

She looks at me strangely. "The...bottom?"

I nod (or rather, I tilt forward and back) before holding out my hand. "Gimme."

Incredibly bemused with a hint of apprehension, Pyronica handed me her tooth. I inspect it for a bit before floating up and stabbing it into the ceiling. None of the doors in this place had frames and our roof was triangular so this was the best I could do.

"What...are you doing?" Pyronica stares at her tooth stuck to the ceiling.

"If you lose a tooth from the bottom it needs to be put up high. If it's from the top it needs to be put down low." I say matter of factly.

Pyronica didn't get it but allowed me to place her fallen teeth around the house whenever she lost them. Having all the teeth around strangely made me feel at home. It wasn't much, but it was something. And then Teeth lost a few teeth when he and Xanthar played a little too roughly.

"It's…very noticeable…" Pyronica notes as she watches me bury one of Teeth's giant teeth in the garden. I had decided to use them to make a little path through the garden, like stepping stones. Except teeth.

"It's fine." I reply as I carefully pat the dirt around the tooth. There. It actually looks quite nice. I can hear Amorphous Shape questioning Pyronica about what the heck I was doing. She just shrugs "Bill just DOES stuff sometimes."

"Indeed."

I pretend not to hear them with the ease of long practice.

Teeth and Pyronica had a strange relationship. On one hand they got along well enough, talking about food and music. On the other hand she couldn't stand it when Teeth and I had pun-offs. Teeth thought her mouth was hideous, cringing whenever he saw her crooked teeth. The two ended up butting heads more often than not.

Xanthar likes anyone who isn't mean to him. Ammy didn't really care enough to actively dislike anyone. Pyronica is a very headstrong person and that makes a lot of conflict with Teeth's similar nature. They were both stubborn. They both felt very strongly about their opinions.

Teeth was a huge dental hygiene advocate and since me, Ammy and Xanthar didn't have teeth (most of the time), he poured all his attention onto Pyronica. She didn't appreciate it. She liked her mouth just the way it was, thank you very much. If her teeth were crooked or chipped, that was her own business.

"Bill~" she whined. I rolled my eye and flipped through another channel on TV. Wasn't there anything good on? You'd think with infinite channels there'd be SOMETHING. "What did Teeth do this time?"

She slumps dramatically next to me, the back of her hand pressed to her head and moaning loudly. "He says I need braces. BRACES!"

"Ah huh?"

She pouts at me. "Make him stop."

"Kay. Oi Teeth. Leave Ronica's teeth alone."

Teeth, sitting at my other side on the couch, grumbles and crosses his arms. "Well, can you tell Pyronica that she'll have to ask me HERSELF instead of going to you?"

"Kay. Oi Ronica-"

Pyronica growls. "Yes I know. I heard him. Well can you tell Teeth that I went to you because he doesn't LISTEN when I tell him stuff?"

"Kay. Oi Tee-"

"I heard her!" Teeth snaps.

Amorphous Shape was on another couch taking notes about their behavior with a little notebook. "So what is THIS called?" He asks me.

"This is what experts refer to as a 'rough patch' in a Friendship. It's where they will be incredibly passive aggressive, refuse to talk to each other despite speaking out loud and intending for the other to hear and making everyone else suffer as well." I respond simply. Oh! Literal Hell's Kitchen is on. Man those demon chefs were hilarious.

"Truly. Friendship is one of the great mysteries of the universe." Ammy muses as he jots down more notes.

"Eh. They're gonna be all snippy with each other for a while, find something that reminds them why they're friends, make up and get over it."

""We can hear you."" Teeth and Pyronica grumbled at the same time.

"I know." I leaned back and turned up the volume on the TV. Ammy just continues writing his notes and observations.

---

My most recent instinct driven rampage was miraculously less destructive than usual. I was just floating around Time Baby's courtroom after a particularly distressing job, trying to calm down after the stupid baby gave me a scolding for apparently taking too long to finish the job.

"Stupid...I'll take as long as I want..." I grumbled angrily.

As wound up as I was, I didn't notice the Time Police group marching down the hall until they ran into me. I felt my feelings spill over as my instincts screamed for an outlet for my anger. I screamed incoherently and turned them all into cactus just so I could place them all around Time Baby's crib.

See how you like THAT asshole!

When my rage finally subsided enough for me to think clearly I couldn't help laughing at the sight of Time Baby's entire bedroom covered with cactus. I changed them back eventually but not before Time Baby got several of the unfortunate cacti stuck to his fat legs. Even when I changed them back to normal I had to pulled each police member out of the time tyrant's fat folds.

It was actually pretty therapeutic.

Disgusting, but therapeutic.

---

"What are demons normally like?"

Teeth asked that out of the blue after lunch one day. I was teaching Ammy how to wash the dishes. I blinked in confusion.

"How would I know?" I respond simply.

"But...you're a demon right? You don't really act like one though. So are all demons secretly nice guys or are you just different?"

"I've...actually never bothered to meet up with other demons. So I don't personally know."

"Wait. Wait. So you're like...super old but you're a virgin and you've never met others of your own kind?" Pyronica asks while looking through the fridge for more snacks.

"Roni~" I whine as Teeth looks startled at the reveal of my sex life, or lack thereof. "Look, there are billions of different types of demons throughout the multiverse. They're all Demons in their own ways. There's no REAL behavioral pattern that ALL demons fall under. So I really don't know."

"We should go meet some demons!" Pyronica suggests more cheerfully than she has any right to. I stare at her in numb horror. "Why would you want to do that?"

"But Bill~aren't you supposed to be All Knowing? Aren't you embarrassed that you don't know THIS?"

"Well..." Truthfully it just never crossed my mind to seek out other demons. Part of me was afraid to meet them. Despite all the terrible things I've done, a part of me wanted to pretend I was a good person and I didn't really want to...associate myself with the legions of the damned. Which was kind of racist. I shouldn't judge them before meeting them at least.

"Field trip! Field trip!" Pyronica starts chanting. Teeth joins in. Like I predicted, they made up from their fight and were as buddy-buddy as usual within just a few days.

"Field trip! Field trip!"

Ammy had joined in chanting now. I sigh in resignation.

"Ok fine! I guess we're all going to Hell."

"""Yay!""" They all cheered.

"Wait what?" Teeth asks as my words finally catch up to him.

---

It was more difficult than I thought, going to Hell that is. For one thing there were multiple different Hells. Each one had their own travel laws and required permits. A few needed you to have Sinned in some major way before they even opened the gates for you. So I went for the easiest Hell to get into, the one that had a front desk.

"Look, we're not moving here or anything. This is just a visit because my friends got it into their heads to try meeting some demons."

I was negotiating with the demon at the check in desk. Most people come to him to negotiate for the release of one of the Souls they have. He didn't know how to handle people wanting to get IN. He was gazing at me in awe though, which made me somewhat nervous.

"T-this is an honor! That the esteemed Bill Cipher himself wishes to meet with us." He gushed. Dear lord please tell me I don't have FANS. Demon fans?!

"Ah huh? So is it possible to just come in to look around? Take a tour and meet the locals? If it's not too much trouble-"

"It's no trouble at all Mr. Cipher! I just need to inform the boss that you wished to see how we do things here."

"Well, it's not really me so much as my friends but-"

"I do hope we are able to match your standards. I assure you all our demons are diligent and merciless when torturing the souls of sinners..."

"Ah...that's...good?" I wasn't sure if this was a good idea anymore. Scratch that, this was never a good idea to begin with.

"Not that I'm saying your methods aren't fine the way they are! We really admire your induced madness approach. Very artfully done. All the anguish without any physical injuries. Well, when you aren't just straight up killing them of course."

"O-okay...?" Yeah, definitely feeling uncomfortable now.

"Though the times you HAVE gone for physical torture were quite inspired as well. We still show our newbies the tapes of what you did to that Jerptian Nobleman."

"Well he was a rapist and deserved every-Wait! You've got TAPES?!"

"Well...you DID assault him on live television during his speech announcing his engagement to his sister..."

Oh right. I remember that now. I was so angry I didn't really bother waiting until he was alone. Man, I definitely went overboard that day.

"I actually use his screams as my ringtone." The demon shows me his phone, it lets out a hoarse scream. You can faintly hear my voice screaming "頂你個肺!!!" In the background.

I can feel my bricks heating up in embarrassment. "O-okay?"

"Wow. I didn't know you were famous among demons..." Pyronica said as she looked at the gushing demon.

"Neither did I..."

We were given an exclusive tour. It was as sickening as it was interesting. So much screaming. Teeth actually looked a little worried. "Is this what normal demons do?" He whispers to me.

"Well these are Punishment Demons. Their job is to make sinners suffer for the crimes they committed. Once the Souls have been punished enough they're set free to return to the cycle of rebirth." This Dimension automatically sorted the Souls of the dead to where they needed to go. That sounded quite efficient actually.

"This guy here. A mass murderer who only targeted children." Our tour guide says as he shows us to a Lepidogoat strung out on a rack. The demons stationed here were slowly stretching him out, he couldn't even scream so much as gasp breathlessly in pain.

"Do you do this kind of thing Bill?" Teeth asks.

"I'm not that kind of demon. I just make Deals." I mutter as the demons waved happily at me. Figures the only people in the multiverse who actually LIKE me would be demons.

I say demon but they weren't part of any religion. Demon is more of...a title if you get right down to it. Different dimensions have different rules for what a demon is. In this particular dimension the demons are all regular creatures who sign up for the job and gain mild powers from the corruption they undergo. They get their paychecks by torturing the souls of sinners and when they die, they end up on the racks as well if they derived too much joy out of it. Not that the poor bastards realize it.

It was a very circular economic system. There are some demons here who simply do their job without being bad people so their souls simply move on to reincarnation. There IS a Heaven to go along with Hell in this dimension but it's boring as shit and most people who end up there just opt for reincarnation anyway.

There are other dimensions where a demon is simply a horrible monster. In some places a demon is a supernatural creature with magical powers. There's a couple dimensions where demons are pretty much low level deities. I'm...something different. I use the term demon just because it's not inaccurate but it's still not entirely correct.

My friends were starting to get uncomfortable with all the gore. The tour guide walks us through another 'exhibit'. "What do you do with your Damned Souls Mr. Cipher?"

"I don't have any. I don't need them." I respond.

He jerks in surprise. "N-no souls? But...then how do you get paid?"

"I don't get paid. I don't have a Job so much as a Purpose. The most I get is the payments I demand during a Deal."

"B-but what do you do for money?" He sounds quite confused.

"I can create gold or any other material from scratch."

His eyes go wide and he's salivating. I don't need to be an empath to feel the Greed pouring out of him. Pyronica tenses beside me, watching the demon carefully.

"Say Mr. Cipher...are you...hiring? You seem to only have 3 employees...surely you could use more help?"

He gestures to Teeth, Pyronica and Amorphous Shape. Xanthar once more stayed home, he didn't want to see Hell. Pyronica narrows her eye at the man. Teeth shifts nervously.

"They aren't my employees. They're my friends. I had a minion once but he was a disappointment and left."

"So they are your henchmen?" He sounds so confused.

"They are my friends." I insist.

"...putting that aside, are you hiring?"

"Even if I was, I don't think you have what it takes to be my minion. No offense."

He sputters a little. "I beg your pardon sir. But you don't even know me."

"Name, Deniek. Age, 137 galactic years. Species, Grunk. Signed up for this job because you tried and failed at pretty much everything else. No real skills, not even any creativity for torture. The higher ups simply gave up and assigned you to check up duty. You've spent the last 25 years of this job just walking around and making sure the other demons were doing their jobs. Only thing of note is a huge gambling debt you're trying to pay off." I recited dully.

He got progressively paler as I spoke. "How did you know-"

"I'm not called the All Seeing Eye for nothing kid." I roll my eye. I was so bored right now. Pyronica starts laughing at him. "Anyone else just want to go home?" I asked my friends while our Tour Guide tries to come up with something to say. "I think this trip has been a waste of time."

"Not entirely. We know that these demons are nowhere near your level. I'm disappointed. No one here can even match the tiniest fraction of your power." Pyronica sighs. I shrug. "There are more powerful demons in other dimensions. Maybe we can meet them someday." Speaking of more powerful demons...

"I bet you could beat up everyone here." I grin as I nudge her. She cackles loudly. "I want to meet a real demon! Someone like you Bill." Teeth whines.

"There's no one else like me. There are some that are similar but I'm the last of my kind."

I said it in an offhand way but Pyronica and Amorphous Shape tense up slightly. They still remember what Jessie said about me destroying my homeworld. Teeth, not knowing any better, asks "Really? Wow that sucks. What happened to them?"

"I killed them all."

Everything goes quiet. The demons around us stopping their work to stare wide eyed and terrified. Teeth's mouth dropped open. Pyronica and Amorphous Shape winced. "Bill..." Pyronica reaches out to me but hesitates a little.

"It was an accident. But Jessie's right. Even if it wasn't my intent to kill everyone, I still did it." That's why it upset me so much. She was right after all. I sigh sadly, missing her and feeling sorry for myself.

"Bill that's not..." Pyronica grabs my hand gently.

"That's the difference between me and these losers." I gesture to the shell-shocked 'demons' around us. "They became Demons by their own will. I wasn't given a choice. Never even had the chance to refuse." I gripped Pyronica's fingers a little tighter. The fire on her skin felt soothing.

I closed my eye and sighed. By the time I opened it again I'd already gotten over my melancholy. Pushing my feelings to the far back of my mind to deal with later. "So guys. Since this trip was such a snore-fest, whaddaya say we crash the film set for Actual Hell's Kitchen and see if those Demons are any more fun to hang with?" I chipped happily. Teeth seemed confused by my sudden mood change.

Having known me longer, Pyronica and Amorphous Shape immediately latch onto the new, fun idea. Anything to distract me. Ammy grabs onto Pyronica and Teeth, who was still processing what he'd just learned about me, and I teleport all of us out of the literal hell-hole.

Of course the news that Bill Cipher became a demon by killing his entire species was the newest rumor to be spread around the multiverse.

---

Random Chinese cultural fact of the day~

The details vary between families, but the basic tradition is that if you lose a tooth you need to place it somewhere up high or down low. Generally this is achieved by tossing the tooth onto the roof or burying it in the yard. Since I grew up in a 10 story apartment complex, we couldn’t actually do that so my mom placed our teeth on top of the door frames and under our beds.

Basically, I thought every household just had teeth randomly hidden around it. Learning about the Tooth Fairy from my classmates at school just confused me. I quickly figured out she wasn’t real. It made me question a lot of things I thought I knew about the world. Actually…now that I think about it…I don’t think we grabbed the teeth when we moved out of that apartment…

Err…if anyone out there just finds teeth randomly in your apartment or house, don’t worry so much about it. It’s perfectly normal I assure you.

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