Nicolas' secret

― What the fuck is this? Try not to fall in love? Who the hell does he think is supposed to fool me like that?

Theodore watched his best friend walk back and forth muttering and cursing at the four winds without stopping. Even with a burger in his hands, biting huge pieces, the little one did not stop talking.

― I told you that kiss would bring trouble, but you didn't listen.

― Throw it in the face! You know damn well why I did it, and that's how you thank me.

― Nico, we know very well that you did that more to piss off Milles than to protect me. Besides, Gabriel was there...

— Gabriel, Gabriel, Gabriel. Every time you open your mouth, you talk about that son of a bitch. ― Suddenly Nicolas had stopped walking, turning furiously to his friend pointing his finger at him ― Why the fuck do you smell him, huh?

Theodore sighed low biting his own snack trying to organize his thoughts. Wouldn't run away from his best friend for long, Nicolas was insightful when it came to matters of his interest. Omega knew very well that no secret would be lost in the world for long, they would be discovered at some point.

It would be better if your friend knew through him than other people who could distort the facts.

Taking a deep breath to take courage, Theodore drank a sip of guarana before launching the bomb.

― I kissed Gabriel.

Nicolas had petrified in place with bulging eyes. Was he still breathing? He couldn't tell if he was pale, since it was customary for his friend to be white as paper.

― W-What? I think I heard wrong.

― You heard right, I kissed Gabriel.

― He forced you, didn't he?

― No Nico.

― Of course he must have forced you. I should have known that that vulture wouldn't forget what that clown Milles said that day. Argh! I don't believe it!

― Nicolas! ― Theodore screamed and managed to silence his friend to listen to him ― It was not forced, I decided on my own.

― He knows you like him and he must have used it to manipulate you, I see what he wants.

― If you were to think about how it all turned out, it would be logical to say that it was your fault.

Nicolas widened his eyes pointing at himself after taking another bite of the snack.

― Mine? What the fuck do I have to do with it?

― Look at your mouth... ― Theodore shook his head ― It was because of what you did to Milles that day. Gabriel was curious what it would be like to be with another guy.

Finally Nicolas had sat on the lawn, standing in front of his best friend staring at him with his tired, bulging eyes. Perceiving the other's silence, Theodore only signaled for him to eat as he began to tell the beginning of his dream that had become reality.

The story that Gabriel had asked to read, the tickets exchanged in the classroom, the first and second kiss exchanged behind the school at the end of training. He even told of Lilian and her cunning plan to get Gabriel's attention that day. He was sincere with his best friend not hiding any details, being listened to silently.

As if watching a movie of his interest, Nicolas had lunch without losing sight of Theodore. He had not dared to interrupt him, letting sincerity slowly appear in his narrative.

Theodore realized that many things had happened since Friday. When he had finished talking, he realized that his friend had already finished eating while remaining silent. Was he processing the information? Or did your head create a thousand and one words to create a beautiful sermon?

— It's already autumn, isn't it? ― Whispered the lowest, tilting his head back staring at the sky ― Already had to dream and it's time to harvest what we planted... You fell in love with him, and now you must be glad you stayed, right, Theo?

― It would be a lie to say that I am not happy. But I cannot delude myself too much.

Remembering that Sadie was feeding in Gabriel's mouth, being held in his arm made the omega's chest tighten. Even Milles seemed content playing with his sister, creating a happy atmosphere among those three. They seemed so united, so happy...

Raising his clear eyes to his best friend, Theodore had tried to imagine that same atmosphere between him and Nicolas with Gabriel in the middle. Frown at a grimace of how strange that vision was.

It would be impossible to have harmony like that.

— I don't want to be the buzz kill, but already being... What do you think will happen if that girl finds out? ― Theodore swallowed it dry when he remembered the scum Sadie had created the year before when she found out about him and Jake.

― Gabriel has nothing to do with her family, as far as I know.

― It's worse just because she likes him, too. Theodore, there's no way that can get back to that spoiled girl.

― We're in the same boat since you kissed her brother.

— As far as I can tell, Milles is not the kind of guy who gets carried away by his sister... He's gonna make my life hell himself. Besides, that girl is no fool to mess with me.

How could he forget that your hot friend was capable of making Sadie Mckenzie shake her knees? Unlike him who would be an easy target to hit.

Realizing that his friend had gotten up to go to the trash can to throw the soda can away and then sit next to him, Theodore sighed focusing on his own lunch.

— When you had the bag without a handle ― Theodore arched his eyebrow to his friend, about to rebuke the new nickname given to Gabriel, but Nicolas did not even look at him looking lost in his own thoughts. Even his voice was lower than usual. ― Did you feel anything different than when you hooked up with Jake?

To give a sincere answer, Theodore recalled the moments he had with the cousin of the Mckenzie. A tall, handsome boy who smiled at him genuinely. Unlike the brothers who teased him because of the strange smell that always surrounded him, Jake was polite. Always protecting him by being around defending him.

Jake had shared his first kiss and his first heat. It was the first time someone touched his body, taking extreme care as if Theodore were glass. He still had marked on his skin the pleasant sensations that his first lover had left in him.

He felt so loved.

He was happy to have Jake in his life.

But it wasn't the same as when he kissed Gabriel.

— With Gabriel everything is intense. ― He answered finally, looking at his hands ― When I am away I can act naturally, but it is only he appears that my world is messy. With Jake it was the opposite, I felt at peace.

― What does that mean?

Raising his eyes to his friend, Theodore had noticed a small hint of need in Nicolas, as if desperate for some more logical explanation. He had noticed that at that moment, the little man was not interested in knowing what Theodore really had to say, but to identify himself.

― Do you remember when my mother told us when she met Pete? That she felt he would be your soul mate?

Nicolas had opened a nostalgic smile.

― You cried apologizing for being born to someone who was not your mother's soul mate.

Theodore laughed at his own innocence. Now this one, he was still little, would not understand the feelings of adults so easily.

Not like he could understand now.

— Mom said she felt complete and happy. Being with Pete was all she needed to smile because she felt right. ― Theodore had looked away ashamed. ― I thought I was feeling too much for just kissing an alpha like Gabriel, but when he kissed me today... it was different. I felt connected to him, as if I had found my place in this world.

― And you've never felt that way before?

― No.

― Right, Theo... do you believe that soul mates exist?

― I do, and you?

Watching Nicolas intently, the gentle breeze swayed the captain's dark hair showing his tired eyes and shoulders hunched over with the weight of the world. Nicolas lowered his eyes to his own feet kicking the earth with the tip of his sneakers.

— I know they exist, but I never wanted to look for mine since I do not want to go through the same as my mother. But my instincts love to betray me, and they must have gone after the damn person unconsciously. What can I do when I found him?

Slowly the omega pressed his fingers on the woody bench on which they were sitting. Theodore widened his eyes and opened his mouth without uttering words. The countenance of his best friend was painful and sad, as he had never seen in his entire life.

Still he opened a smile. Nicolas still smiled at his best friend.

― You found your soul mate... don't tell me it's...

― Alpha instincts must already be reacting the same way my instincts are desperate. Soon he'll find out, Theo.

― But how? I mean... what would he be like? And you take better care of yourself than I do, there's no way he knows.

― I only have to know what he's going to do when he finds out I'm an omega too.