Chapter 15: Broken pt. 1

A month since Fay's 'death'.Fay decides to tell everyone about his Soul Gem and his true nature. Everyone is surprised of course. But not so much after knowing Fay can use space magic. Now it's just soul magic, it's nothing so special since it's Fay.Everyone seems to try to forget about it.Fay even tells them about how the body in the closet is his 'backup'.'Just in case I get decapitated or a dragon roasted my body whole you can bring my soul gem back!'. Fay said cheerfully while holding his Soul Gem for everyone to see, thinking it's something quite funny how he can just replace his body.Of course, the party doesn't find it funny and it just seems bizarre how Fay thinks about being decapitated and being roasted by fire.Months passed since the incidence and they keep doing quests to gain the fund towards preparing for mithril level quest.With the number of gold level beasts slayed, all of the members and the party rank are raised to Mithril level.…Everyone had a little vacation today in the capital city. Trevor refused to come because he felt sick.Fay offered to bring him to Eli but he refused.Well, they can always go to the Capital anytime they wanted.While there, Elvis put an order for dragon scale armour for the party members excluding wain and Trevor using the fund they have from the young true dragon materials auction.Mr Odi happily accepts the job as it's rare to work with materials of Mithril or even Adamantite ranked magic beasts. He has pride in his craftsmanship after all. He is blessed by the God of Blacksmithing after honing his craft for a hundred years, making him far more skilled than ordinary people with his skill.Wain went to check out the market with Elvis while Fay had business at the Mage Association Grand Library.That is to buy the whole grimoire of the frost Sage.The middle-aged woman is still working there it seems."Hello. I want to buy the full grimoire of the frost Sage".Fay handed the 1 platinum coin. The middle-aged woman is stunned. She remembers Fay of course, especially because he has a very pretty face."You really can use ice magic?". She finally has doubts. He had re-checked the details of Fay when he registered.A Mithril level adventurer.The 1 platinum coin Is expected. But it's still a huge amount of money.Fay had a question mark on his head. Didn't this woman congratulate him before when he told her? So, she never believed him???'uhh… Yes, I can'.She is half-believing it. She held Fay's hand."Please, show it to me".Fay reluctantly agreed to the request and went to the magic testing facility.He chanted Icicle spell, as extra large light blue magic circle forms. In fact, this is a casual Icicle using a minimum amount of magic Fay can use. But due to his true dragon body, the spell is very efficient in its mana consumption and becomes very strong!A 3 meters length shard icicle forms and rotates in high speed and is launched into the Adamantite plated wall.A loud Thunk resonates around the room as frost covers the entire wall.The woman gasped in shock and almost fainted."I, I am sorry for my rude behaviour". The woman put on a professional neutral face and apologised sincerely to Fay.'But how did you do it…?'."uhh… It's a secret". He can't really say Kyubey helped him complete the spells.'Can I buy the grimoire now?'."Yes, yes". The woman hurriedly went to take an old copy of the whole grimoire and give it to Fay. Fay hand over the platinum coin.She really shouldn't have judged and assumed the worst in people, the woman thought. She respects Fay and wouldn't tell anyone about it. Anyways, the whole world will know soon or later anyways.'Kyubey let's read the grimoire and complete all the spells.'Fay. Before that, I noticed your body had moved a while ago'."My body?".'The one in the closet'."Really?".'I have trackers on them'. Well, that's how Kyubey can probably appear out of nowhere at the right place.Fay felt worried. Maybe the innkeeper went to check his room or wants to clean the room and found it? Or his body turned into an undead or something? A robber?It's worrying.Fay went to a desolate dark alleyway. He opened up a portal back to his room in Angis quickly. He opens up the closet and sees it is empty.'Kyubey where did it go?'.'…'."Kyubey?".Seeing Kyubey is silent. He went to grab him from his head and look at his round red eyes."Kyubey why are you quiet. Tell me where my body went"."…".Kyubey stared blankly at Fay. Having no response whatsoever.Kyubey has never acted like this. He knows Kyubeys kept secrets but he has never replied with complete silence at his questions. He may give a half truth or emit information but he has never gone completely silent.Fay conjured his soul gem and focused his consciousness. He can feel the body is next door, in Trevor's room.Why is it with him?Fay went out to knock on Trevor's door.Knock3."Trevor, are you in there?".…"Trevor?".Fay tried to open the door, finding it locked.Did his body become an undead and attack Trevor? He's worried.He had to force the door open.Fay effortlessly breaks the door handle and pushes the door. … He gasped in shock. His hand covers his own mouth. His stomach churned with acids as he felt disgust, shock, and anger overwhelms his whole body."F-Fay…". Trevor can only look at Fay, with guilt.Trevor is… He is…Fay had to run away, running to his room bath and puke it all out. He coughed and kept puking while a tear ran down his cheek.Tears pooled in his eyes.Ahh… He doesn't want to believe it… He doesn't want to believe it… He sees it wrong. Its just his imagination, right? Right... maybe it's just a person that happens to look like him.…Fay hugged his own body… Shaking.That… isn't his body, right?…Who is he kidding.His dragon eyes can see the details clearly. His enhanced brain captures the information as it is like a camera. He can't lie to himself.He felt betrayed, and violated.Wait. It's not his actual body… it's just a doll and an empty puppet.Fay tried to twist the reasoning to make it acceptable for himself… His soul is not there as well so…Ah… He can't lie to himself anymore.Fay had to puke out air as his stomach already emptied.He felt weak in his heart. And felt angry and disgusted at the same time.How could he do this to me…He felt his trust had been broken. For his own body, to be used as a… plaything.He doesn't know what to think anymore.Fay stood on his bathroom mirror looking at the sink with its tap opened letting noise empty his mind as he focused on the swirling of the water in the sink.…"Fay…". Trevor wore his clothes and entered Fay's room."I… I am sorry…". Trevor went closer to Fay."Stay away from me".Fay doesn't want to look at him at this time. It's his first time, feeling angry at someone in this world. It has never occurred to him, this would happen."Fay… I can explain. I know I made a mistake I just, I don't know what gets over me I…".Fay felt more rage inside him. What explanation can he give?He turned his eyes with a cold and angry expression.Fay did not know, but his blue eyes pupils has turned into a sharp line. He can only glare at Trevor in anger."Get out of my room".Fay clenched his grip on the sink so hard it even cracked.Trevor shakes in fear seeing the dragon eyes looking at him straight to his soul. He had to run away back to his room, afraid of Fay's anger. It's his first-time seeing Fay gets angry.Trevor had tears pooled in his eyes. He made a mistake that he can never take back his entire life.Is it a mistake? He wanted this. He wanted Fay's body. He did this on his own accord and indulged himself in his own lust. What excuse can he tell himself, and Fay?"I am a piece of trash…". Trevor finally admitted it himself.He looked at Fay's unclothed body lying on his bed, covered in his own essences with marks on its neck and body.He carried it gently to his bath, and cleaned it properly.As his hand wipes all the grimes away, he realises how fucked up it is.What possessed him to even think this is okay in the first place?He keeps wiping down everything clean. More tears pooled as he had to clean even the inside.It dawns on him he is truly a disgusting person. How could he feel happy touching this body before? He's a monster…How can he face Fay after this?He rinsed the soaps away, leaving the body clean. Only a few marks are visible up close. But it's still visible, regardless.He wiped it dry with a towel gently, and put back its clothes on.He holds the smaller sized body with his big arms, and carries them in front of Fay's room.Fay is now sitting on his bed, his eyes looking at the floor.Trevor hesitantly walked into the room."Fay… I cleaned them properly…". His words make it sound so fucked up.Fay is still digesting this event.'It's just an empty body. And his actions are to show affection and desire for you. You don't have to take it too negatively'. Kyubey finally said something.While Kyubey can't relate and can't feel emotions, he knows the theory and psychology of humans. He can guess why Fay feels like this. But still, he wants to make Fay feel better. Maybe his logical reasoning would help. And because he sensed the despair that are polluting Fay's soul gem.'Its just an empty body…?'. Fay repeated the sentence Kyubey said in his mind.Trevor walked to Fay side very sluggishly and placed the body on the bed. The body smells like soap after being bathed.Fay had to look at his own spare body. He looks closely and no details escape his eyes.The markings on his neck can be seen.Fay had to touch his current body neck with his hand.Trevor touched him. He didn't ask him and he just forced his way to do whatever he wanted with his unconscious body."How could you do this…". Fay knows, at least in theory, how humans aren't perfect and at times desires can overcome their own morality. But he doesn't want to believe someone he considers a friend of his did this.'I… I just… I don't know what possessed me… I just… I want you…'.Fay had to look at Trevor, hearing this for the first time. Trevor can't even look at his eyes. His eyes can only look at the floor and the sides.Fay keeps looking at Trevor, with a disappointed look in his eyes. He feels truly disappointed in Trevor. His anger had subsided after digesting things in a short time. Even his disgust had been gone, seeing his body had been cleaned.But the deepest feeling of disappointment is born."I am sorry Fay…"."I… I like you a lot…". Trevor spewed out some nonsense."I… I am a horrible person, and have done wrong things… I am sorry"."I know you wouldn't forgive me. But I really, really feel sorry…". Tears of shame and guilt finally fell down his eyes.The meaningless excuses and self-blaming only further pollutes Fay's own Soul Gem – polluting his own soul with despair. A third of it had already been dirtied by dark grimes.'Just take that body and keep it'.Fay spoke with emptiness in his heart.'Fay I…'. Trevor is shocked, and was taken aback. He looked at Fay's face to see his emotions.Fay stood from his bed and held his own body by the neck, choking his own body with one hand. His dragon body strength makes it easy.He casually carried it with one hand, walking to Trevor as its lower half dragged on the floor.'I don't want this thing anymore. It's dirty. You keep it'.Fay casually tossed the body to the floor, hitting the ground with a loud thud like a ragdoll. As if it's some piece of dirty trash.It lay there, in an awkward position in front of Trevor's feet. It's Fay's way to express his disappointment. Treating his own body like some empty body that has zero significance to prove a point.'Pick it up and leave'.Fay went to kick his own spare body's head even turning it sideways. It's indeed an empty body.Fay said his last word and went to lay down on his bed, turning his face away. He closed his eyes. Not wanting to think of anything anymore.He hears the sound of his door closing, as Trevor had picked up the body and left him as told.He just… wants to sleep it off.…