Zhou Hua and the Culinary Dao Method

Seeing that the stage was empty once more, people began to whisper among themselves...

"Hey, didn't you say your poop could perform divination a few days ago? Why don't you go demonstrate for us?"

"Wha- Who, me? Pshh! I didn't say that, you must have misheard me or something, heh heh..."

"Nope! I clearly remember you saying something about your shit levitating for six seconds before falling into the latrine. Don't you remember when you said that, brother? Hm? Hm!? What? You don't dare to admit it now?"

"...ahahaha... seriously, come on man... don't do this to me..."

"Hmph!"

"Does anyone know where my Little Ming has run off to? I prepared the iron thread grass for him to apply to his fists, but now I can't find him. Could he have run off with Little Yunyue?"

"Sorry, Miss Lin, I haven't seen him. I'm also in a bit of a predicament myself."

"Oh, what is it Miss?"

"What should I do? My chickens have all flown away!"

"Aiya! That is quite troublesome. If only there was a little fairy boy dressed in green to come and gather them for you."

"Hm? What are you on about? Have you been drinking? One too many mushrooms? I knew I should have sent the guards after that shady fat plumber!"

A lot of 'interesting' conversations were taking place at this point in time, causing Logean Wuji to have to suffer the secondhand embarrassment that came with hearing it all. In an attempt to ignore it all, he decided to strike up conversation with Ye Hong and Ling Ji'er- who had been silent so as not to interrupt Logean Wuji's thinking.

"So, Ling Ji'er, is your family here today?"

Ling Ji'er looked surprised as she turned to face Logean Wuji, barely able to utter an 'eh?'

"Oh, my family? Well I see Uncle Fang over there, Cousin Jun is there with Aunt, and there's father shouting up to the rooftop where Jian'er is."

Looking over, Logean Wuji saw a man with greying hair wearing a dirty shirt and pants over which was a blacksmith's apron. His gloved hands were cupped around his mouth as he shouted to his daughter, Ling Jian'er, who was atop the house with Cyrus- though a good few feet apart.

"Your father is a smith?"

"Indeed he is, though he's only just started. Before we came here, he was a simple salesman and had never even touched a real weapon. Even so, he always said that his true passion was to forge powerful weapons, like the 'Chaotic Blades of the God of War' or Tian Yang's 'Piercing Heaven Spear.' So, once we arrived here, he started to train under Mister Rong. It's only been a few weeks, but he's already making swords and spears that are good enough for the guards."

Logean Wuji nodded, carefully observing Ling Ji'er and her father, Ling Cai.

"I am curious to know, Ji'er. Where is your mother." Hearing this, Ye Hong also turned to look at her.

"The thing is, I don't know. I don't even know who she is." Ye Hong carefully put down his cup of tea after calming himself. Since he did not want to make a mess on Logean Wuji's table, he set it down gently then let his excitement out, "What!? How could you not know? What about when your sister was born?"

"Ah... heh heh... The thing is, before Jian'er was born, it was still just me and my father."

This time, even Logean Wuji was confused and intrigued, since he did not use his true sight to peer into Ling Ji'er's secrets. He and Ye Hong leaned a bit closer, waiting for the explanation to this puzzle.

"One night, I was making tea for Father when someone visited the house. I could not see them well in the dark, but I could tell it was most likely a monk; I heard the sound of large prayer beads banging against each other. After that, Father said he had to leave and that he would be back very soon."

"I waited for quite some time- it even started raining, but he still did not return. Eventually, as I was about to fall asleep, I heard him enter the room. I was relieved and full of questions, so I went to greet him. It was only then that I heard a baby's soft cries. In his arms was Jian'er, soaking wet from the rain. 'This is your baby sister,' he said and, without any further explanation, began taking care of her."

"I asked him countless times about our mother- Jian'er as well- but his answer was always the same: She will come find you when the time is right."

Ye Hong and Logean Wuji were stumped. Logean Wuji even wanted to cheat and peek into her life, but he didn't in the end. He would allow her to keep her secrets and solve them in due time.

At this moment, the piercing clash of a gong being struck silenced the masses. Turning around, the people saw a proud and puffed up Zhou Mantiao, walking with gong and mallet in hand. Behind him, Zhou Hua blushed, embarrassed and trying to keep her head down, hiding it behind her loose white hair. With nothing but a black cloth in her hand, she and Zhou Mantiao got onto the stage.

"Greetings custome- uh, I mean fellow villagers! I am Zhou Mantiao, your humble friend and greatest restaurant manager in the world. With me now, in all her feminine glory, my big sister, Zhou Hua! Watch now as she breathes to life a Divine Dish using nothing but her outstanding prowess as a Chef!"

"Behold the magic, behold the brilliance, hang onto your tongues and wipe your drool! This is, the Culinary Dao Method!"

Zhou Hua frowned for a moment. Beforehand, Zhou Mantiao had asked her if he could play the part of her announcer and get the crowd all warmed up. She flatly refused, but he did it anyway. Still, she had to admit, he did a decent job.

The people were definitely invested, wanting to see how she was going to cook without the necessary tools.

Zhou Hua smiled, bowed to everyone, then walked to the edge of the stage as she scoured the crowd. Finding some random person, she called them up onto the stage which elicited cheers and whoops.

This person was a potbellied man with a short beard and large hazel eyes. He licked his lips and rubbed his hands together, meanwhile Zhou Mantiao dramatically beat his gong.

"Your name please, sir."

"Uh, Tanlan. You can call me Tanlan." [1]

A collective gasp echoed within the plaza, causing a few people to sneer or smile weirdly.

"This fellow is aptly named, isn't he?"

"Indeed. He must be feeling quite lucky to have been called up by someone who will cook for him. I bet he wouldn't have been happy with someone putting an apple on his head to shoot it off."

"Ah, but brother, he would be happy with that. He would simply eat the apple! Ahahah!"

"Keeheehahaha!"

Hearing the people's words Tanlan was unaffected. This was because they were absolutely spot on.

"So, Mister Tanlan, what is your most favorite dish?"

Tanlan was a bit nervous at first, but after hearing this question he forgot all about his nerves. He pulled up a chair, though no one knew where he got it from, and started to list all his favorite things to eat in the world. From mushroom soup to gratin, pies, roasts, cookies, crackers, various types of rice, various types of noodles, soybeans, cucumbers, ducks, geese, pheasants, yams and radishes.

The man simply did not stop. He even began to fantasize about eating during his over-the-top answer, so Zhou Hua simple decided to choose anything at all; he was bound to like it.

With that, she pulled her hair into one and tied it up, ensuring it was completely covered. After that, she clasped her hands and closed her eyes, beginning to breathe in a strange, inconsistent pattern. This breathing technique was something only Logean Wuji could recognize, and when he did he almost spat out his tea.

Ye Hong and Ling Ji'er had only just found out that the cups would magically refill themselves. After noticing that Logean Wuji had been taking mouthful after mouthful each time, yet never seemed to run out, they finally tried it for themselves. They had been sipping the whole time, fearful of the tea being depleted.

"Are you alright, Sir Wuji," Ye Hong asked.

"I'm just fine. It's just that, if Zhou Hua can use this breathing method, it means that she's already mastered the Essence of the Culinary Dao beyond what the Culinary God 'Zao Shen' himself was capable of."

Ye Hong and Ling Ji'er were unable to suppress the shock, so they spit out all the tea they had in their mouths. Directly beneath them, a few crowd members felt the tea, like warm, slightly slimy drizzle, fall onto them.

"Hm? The fuck is this!?" When that person looked up, all they saw was Ye Hong and Ling Ji'er coughing vigorously.

"Good lord... Did one of them pee on me? OOUU! Was it Sir Wuji!?" Absolutely over the moon, that person started to lick up the droplets of tea that had fallen on him, moaning and groaning in pleasure while doing so.

"Goodness, this man is a sicko!"

Next to that person, a large number of people cringed so hard their faces almost got stuck. They moved as far away as they could, creating a large open area around that 'sick' person. As for him, he did not care. He greedily licked at what he thought was the bodily fluid of Sir Wuji.

Meanwhile, Zhou Hua was finally moving. With her eyes closed and her mind open, she spoke three simple words: Culinary Dao Method."

Space shook with vibrating dao pulses, sending the crowd into shock. Logean Wuji was blown away by this, for it was something that would only occur when one's words were on par with a dao-law. This was very similar to when he spoke and his words became law, only not as great. Zhou Hua was only able to do this to enact a Culinary Dao-law, which meant she could only use it for cooking.

Even so, this was all she wanted so it was more than enough for her. If she could cook for a thousand years, she would gladly cook non-stop.

"Ooh!?" People in the crowd slowly adjusted, their eyes revealing the truth.

"Do you guys see that?"

"On the stage... It's... It's!"

"It's a kitchen! An illusory kitchen! I don't even sense any energy fluctuations from that woman! How could she create such an exquisitely profound illusion?"

Unlike the other spectators, Zhou Mantiao knew exactly what was going on. His sister had practiced at home after all, so he had been the first person to absolutely lose his shit over the divine magic his sister was now capable of.

In only a couple short days, she had gone from a slightly-above-average chef, to a godly cook with no possible limit.

Zhou Hua moved around the illusory kitchen, eyes remaining closed as she worked. Tanlan followed her every move, his eyes sparkling with delight the minute he realized what she was preparing.

The ingredients were illusory but, much like Logean Wuji's table and cups, they certainly did exist. The more she worked, the more physical and corporeal the food seemed to become.

The pork, the pineapples, the soybean sauce. As she raced through the steps, the heated scent of a busy kitchen snuck its way up Tanlan's nose, then up the noses of the entire crowd. Everyone was assaulted by the rich scent of sweet and sour pork being prepared.

In under 30 minutes, the food was ready. Much to Tanlan's delight, the steaming hot pork and veggies were 100% physical, on a tangible plate and served with tangible utensils. He was worried he would only be able to look at and smell the food, but not eat it. However, his worries were subsided the second he felt the weight of the plate, the warmth spreading from it into his hands.

He enjoyed that smell for half a minute before he dug in. Zhou Hua smiled at his ravenous style of eating, but she did not mind. There were few things more satisfying, to her, than someone enjoying her food with so much zeal. While Tanlan ate, she prepared another plate and then looked up toward Logean Wuji.

Gulping, she raised it upward and said, "Sir Wuji, this one has prepared a plate for you."

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[1] - 'Tanlan' pretty much means greedy.