webnovel

I'm a Pastor, what the hell is an Acute Gastroenteritis Outbreak Spell?!

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn't help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire. Firstly, what in the world is the "Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis" spell? And don't even get me started on the "Osteoporosis" spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like "Blood Burn," "Gradual Freeze," and "Mental Chaos." Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities? Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn't help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield "Doomstorm" and "Ice Age," swordsmen boast "Sword Rain: Homecoming" and "Wind-Cutter Slash," while archers showcase "Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars" and "Storm Arrow." Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named "Cancer Cell Proliferation," "T-Virus Infection," and "Rabies Outbreak." In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, "Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!" Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, "Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don't know!" Even a boss character confesses, "Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!"

Yiqian Qingdai · Bandes dessinées et romans graphiques
Pas assez d’évaluations
601 Chs

Chapter 18: Night Watchman Shen Nanfeng? Dawn for nine days, die one day in advance!

Late at night, east of the city.

The night guard base of Chang'an City.

On the surface, Shen Nanfeng is the deputy guard of Chang'an City, but his actual identity is the Director of the Chang'an City branch of the Night Guards. He was currently reviewing the information handed over by his subordinates.

"Director, 21 new Professionists have been attacked this week!"

"Six professionists have died, and the rest have all been saved!"

"In addition, eleven of the Fallen Ones are dead, five seriously injured and captured, and the rest have all run away!"

"The Fallen Ones' organizations involved in this case are mainly led by three groups: Dawnbreak, Ghost Face, and the Blue Temple."

"Six newcomers dead..."

Shen Nanfeng instinctively gripped the document in his hand.

He was well aware that every year, the newcomers who were killed before the college entrance exam were all new Professionists paid special attention by the Fallen Ones.

Some of them had unusual awakening professions, high-star professions, hidden occupations, some possessed special skills or talents, or were very powerful in combat.

But without exception, all these new Professionists were very outstanding, so they attracted the special attention of the Fallen Ones.

Either they were forced to join the Fallen Ones, and it was easy if they agreed.

Once refused, they would inevitably be chased and killed by the Fallen Ones.

Every year, the Ministry of Education, the Night Guards, and even the military would send Professionists to protect these new Professionists.

But it was impossible to guard against everything.

Every year, quite a few new Professionists were killed by the Fallen Ones!

"How about Yao Zhixue? The newly promoted civilian nine-star Professionist from the twelfth school?"

Zhao Yunxiao said, "Director, Yao Zhixue is fine, she was saved by a classmate."

"A classmate?"

Shen Nanfeng found it strange: "Her classmate is also a new Professionist, right? Could he save her?"

Zhao Yunxiao smiled: "On my way back, I found out that he and Zhixue are a couple. It must have been a secret rendezvous that made Yao Zhixue quietly shake us off, but accidentally ran into people from Dawnbreak."

"Moreover, Yao Zhixue's boyfriend should not be simple."

"How so?"

"The Fallen Ones who attacked Yao Zhixue were led by a small team headed by Gui Jie, the Ghost Shadow Assassin from Dawnbreak. They are all Professionists above LV30."

"At that time, a knight Professionist was also trapped. In the end, three Fallen Ones, including Gui Jie and Qingteng, were killed and two seriously injured!"

"Gui Jie and Qingteng have both been caught by us!"

"Oh? Black Wolf is dead?" Shen Nanfeng became interested: "How did he die?"

"It's not easy to kill a werewolf Professionist."

"After our autopsy, we found that the Black Wolf Yangxiong was killed by the knight Professionist and beheaded with a single sword!"

"However, we discovered that the evil wolf Yangxiong had a severe acute gastroenteritis, which caused him to defecate during his fight with the knight Professionist..."

"Defecated everywhere?"

Shen Nanfeng's expression was strange: "You mean, Black Wolf was... shittng while fighting?"

"Possibly..."

Zhao Yunxiao's expression was even stranger: "But... as we all know, whether they are werewolf Professionists or transmigrators with werewolf bloodlines, their constitutions are very strong."

"Whether it's raw meat, steel, or even poison, their strong stomach acid can corrode and digest it. We have werewolf Professionists and transmigrators among the Night Guards, but we have never heard of anyone suffering from acute gastroenteritis!"

"There's one more thing, his heart is missing, not sure where it went. The wound was smooth, as if it had been cut off instantly by a surgical knife."

"Unless..."

"Unless, someone had found a way to cause Black Wolf to contract acute gastroenteritis in a very short time, causing him to be unable to stop defecating during the fight, thus being decapitated by the Professionist!"

"And the heart? Was it another method of the Fallen Ones to control their subordinates?"

Shen Nanfeng found it strange: "What you mean is..."

Zhao Yunxiao smiled: "Yao Zhixue's little boyfriend, Zheng Cheng."

"I had someone check on him when I came back. His profession is a three-star Priest, but his beginner skill is quite peculiar."

"What skill?"

"A skill that causes diarrhea... acute gastroenteritis."

Zhao Yunxiao shared with a strange look on his face, "During the occupation awakening, a first-year professionist from another class clashed with him and suddenly had diarrhea…"

"Causing professionists to have diarrhea... Even those at LV30 couldn't stand it?"

Shen Nanfeng felt a chill creeping up his scalp.

He could imagine such a scene, a werewolf engaged in a fierce battle, suddenly suffering from acute gastritis. That type that's unstoppable and uncontrollable, breaking out right on the spot …

This...

Any human would find it unbearable.

He asked: "What else?"

Zhao Yunxiao continued: "The Phantom Assassin was also affected by this skill, crapping right there on the spot until he even fainted."

"After my interrogation, as well as the traces left at the scene, it became clear that after being affected by Zheng Cheng's skill, he suffered intense pain, which caused him to faint instantly."

"I investigated Zheng Cheng's whereabouts in the last few days and found that he had been in the Priest Guild treating patients, which means he was definitely refining his novice skill proficiency."

"The fact that the Assassin fainted due to pain proves only one thing."

Shen Nanfeng tapped the table as he said: "His novice skill has leveled up to LV3, awakening skill attributes!"

"Right!"

Zhao Yunxiao said, "I suspect Zheng Cheng's skill is similar to a Dark Priest's."

"A Dark Priest?" Shen Nanfeng stated, "The Dark Priest who excels at controlling and weakening the enemy is somewhat similar to your speculation."

"Giving people diarrhea, even professionists suffer from it. This skill is scarier than the weakening debuff of the Dark Priest…"

Zhao Yunxiao chuckled, "Director, even you agree. So, how about… "

"You want to recruit him into our group?"

"Exactly!"

Zhao Yunxiao quickly nodded, "His novice skill is in line with the Night Watcher's recruitment criteria."

"Although the star-rating isn't high, the skill effect is pretty special — a powerful control skill…"

Shen Nanfeng hesitated, "Hold on, in a few days, it will be the day of the unified trial for all new professionists in Chang'an City."

"Let's investigate this kid first."

"Okay…"

Zhao Yunxiao frowned, "There's another thing. Zheng Cheng ruined Dawn's plan targeting Yao Zhixue, I'm worried Dawn will retaliate against him."

Shen Nanfeng shook his head, "Heh, they're just rats hiding in the shadows."

"What about Dawn?"

"We've found the hiding place of the Black Sun from Dawn's Nine Suns. This time, I want one of Dawn's Nine Suns to fall first!"

"You found them?"

Zhao Yunxiao's eyes brightened, "Director, I request to join this operation!"

"Okay, wait a bit. Once all the other team leaders return, we'll take action."

"Yes, Director!"

...

Inside the small apartment.

Zheng Cheng was holding a kitchen knife, and in the pot next to him, the oil was still heating.

He looked at the dark red heart on the chopping board, lifted the knife, but eventually tossed it aside.

He turned off the gas stove, grabbed a bottle of chilled cola, and gulped down a mouthful.

"Forget it, it's supposedly the heart of a werewolf, but it's still a human heart."

"They want me to eat human flesh?"

He shook his head, abandoning that idea.

"More importantly, if I ate this heart, there's a possibility I might gain the werewolf lineage."

"Although the chance is very low, I can't risk it."

"The werewolf lineage transformation item is too ordinary for me, and not really valuable."

"If I can dissect special ingredients from professionists, then the bodies of other creatures and mutant poultry..."