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I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please

Superpowers abound. Villains rule the world. A transmigrated dork that has absolutely no idea what’s going on. Strong-armed by the Superhero Enhancement System into the thankless job of endlessly performing good deeds in a world where such actions are often met with violence, Lucas Lynn doesn't have much choice in regards to using his supposed gifts. It’s bad enough having to pretend to be a supervillain, but how exactly does Boss System expect him to save the world with only the help of a homeless orphan, a dog that’s smarter than he is, and a yoyo? Oh, just trick some supervillains into becoming superheroes instead? You make it sound so easy! ----- Tags: Sci-Fi, Isekai, System, Dark Comedy, Satire, Superpowers, Anti-Hero, Time Looping, Gore, Slice of Life, Rubber Ducky (yes, Mr. Quacks deserves his own tag) ----- Do a google search for "Geminel WordPress" for a page that has a little about me, information about the novel's inspiration, a link to the discord server, a link to the character reference sheet, a char art gallery, and a collection of short stories, both within and independent of this novel's universe. ----- Excerpt from the end of Ch1: [Bzzt... Scan complete. Analyzing...] 'Eh?' [Analysis complete. Positive value found, now loading... Loading complete.] 'Okay, WTF is...' [Binding successful. Congratulations upstanding citizen. You have been selected by the Superhero Enhancement System. Please select your desired enhancement. The following options are avail...] 'I'M DYING! IS NOT DYING AN OPTION!?' [Error, invalid selection. An enhancement will be randomly selected. Randomizing... Strength has been selected. Enhanced strength will be calibrated for your rebirth. Please look forward to it.] 'WHAT IN THE ACTUAL F-' With this final thought, Lucas dies in a pool of his own blood on the sidewalk.

Geminel · Romance
Pas assez d’évaluations
244 Chs

Awooo!!!

Continuing on with laughing their way through the exceedingly long list of supervillain organizations, another F name catches Lucas's eye.

'Oh? Floralanche? Heh, sounds like they should be neighbors with Dan.'

[They practically are. They're three buildings down the block from Faunahorde. As far as I am aware, the florist shop's owner Nightshade personally tends to the growth of all of the seeds, fruit, and various other vegetation that the miscellaneous inhabitants of Faunahorde consume.]

'Oh, hey. They related or something?'

[Not as far as I am aware.]

'Huh.'

"Um... Lucas? What's up?" Having noticed that Lucas has stopped going through the list for a long time, all while vacantly staring off to the side, Jonathan finally speaks up.

"Wha..? Oh, sorry. Was just thinking I should go buy some sort of treat for Sylph before we visit tomorrow. Sorry, let's keep goin'." Lucas has just successfully told the most believable lie he has said across all of his lives.

"Oh... Um, yeah, sure." The unsuspecting Jonathan completely believes the previous lie, without hesitation.

They continue their vicious mockery of questionable supervillain naming sense once Lucas resumes scrolling, going on for several more minutes without anything too notable.

When they're into the late H's, the pupper is actually the one to bring attention to one particular name for taunting. He snorts out his own doggy form of laughter just as Lucas was about to scroll past 'Howling Cartographer,' causing him to pause for a moment.

"Hah! Now I'm imagining you just running around the city figuring out the map for it, yelling the whole time." As Lucas shares his mental imagery, the doggo decides to give a demonstration.

He hops down off of Jonathan's lap and runs around the apartment at nearly top speed, barking and howling the entire time.

Lucas nearly hurts himself from laughing too hard, made all the more impressive due to his recently gained enhanced endurance. Jonathan isn't all that far behind in regards to his hysterics volume, either.

A few seconds into the demonstration, other dogs within hearing range decide they too wish to join in on the musical number. With the cacophony of baying and yowling, just about every single human besides Lucas and Jonathan within hearing range is extremely cross with this turn of events.

After burning a bit of his zoomie energy, the happily panting mutt reclaims his seat on Jonathan's lap, ready to continue their spree of ridicule for supervillain institution nomenclature.

Lucas soldiers on through the massive listing, the dulcet tones of distant, invigorated, canines serenading his efforts.

As they're wading through the M's, there are two entire pages worth of organizations where the first word in the name is 'Machine.'

'Good lord. That's... A lot.'

[I believe that by now it has been established that most supervillain company founders aren't known for their... Creativity.]

'No kidding... Yeesh.'

Once they're past the mob of machines, Lucas can't resist pausing at 'Maximum Chaos Squadron' for a few moments. Stopping to listen for a few seconds, it seems the majority of singers have retired for the evening.

"I'm pretty sure that little demonstration of yours qualified you to take over as their boss there, buddy." As Lucas says this, halfway across the world, in a crowded meeting room, an influential supervillain has just sneezed.

The recently promoted furry four-legged CEO gives a single proud bark in affirmation.

Carrying on, it isn't particularly long before Lucas pauses his leisurely scrolling once again.

"Wait, he seriously just named the entire organization 'MF's'? Damnit, your laziness is somehow the most original name yet?" As Lucas muses out loud, Jonathan and 427 both laugh a few times in response.

[I mean, it IS right on the building.]

'I figured it was just shortened for the sign since the name was already hella long as it was! And I bet I'm not the only one that thought that!'

[...I am definitely not taking you up on that bet.]

'See!?'

Lucas takes a deep breath and slowly exhales it in a sigh.

"Anyway, we've gotta be a good part of the way through the list by now, yeah? You good to keep going, kiddo? Oh, or any good ideas for that matter..?" As Lucas asks this, Jonathan initially nods a few times before shifting into shaking his head no.

"We uh, probably should at least finish reading it all before bed, I don't have any good ideas though. I feel like there's so many bad ones we could pick a few random words and it would be fine..." As Jonathan answers, Lucas snorts briefly towards the end.

"No kidding. Anywho, on we go." After saying this, Lucas makes good on his declaration and resumes scrolling.

The wisecracking banter smoothly continues through a few more letters worth of names, finally earning a fresh pause at 'Sisterhood of Evil.'

"Hah! Sisterhood indeed, those names are priceless. Miss Chievous, Miss Calculated, and Miss Masher is a pretty great combo." As Lucas is simply amused by the naming, Jonathan now looks a bit thoughtful.

"I don't... I don't think any organizations had brotherhood in the name? And that's the only Sisterhood?" While Jonathan speculates this, Lucas rapidly scrolls all the way back to the B's to double-check, now also looking thoughtful.

"Huh, you're right. I guess supervillains really aren't known for their familial cooperation... Still, it seems weird that there isn't even a single one though..?" Lucas knits his brows for a few moments while thinking it over, at a bit of a loss.

[Well, imagine normal sibling horsing around, now add in the erratic nature of superpowers in their development phase. Even when both parties survive the whole way through, there is very rarely an affectionate lingering bond afterward. Family bonds in general are often rather weak when there are a few supes mixed in, even in the best circumstances. On the occasion of close friendship, if even a single one of those involved has a particularly dangerous developmental phase, it's an accomplishment to even maintain a friendship at all by the time their powers are stable.]

'Oh... That's... Kinda sad. Ah, so Dan and Mark are a rare case for even stayin' friends at all? Er, if you call Mark dragging Dan around to socialize being friends. And even still, they made entirely separate organizations... Huh.'

As Lucas is lost in thought while thinking with 427, Jonathan has a bit of a hopeful expression writ across his face.

"Well, um, maybe we could, you know... You w-wanted to have an original name, right?" As Jonathan slowly manages to hint at the idea, he's begun shyly fidgeting while looking away. He keeps his arms loosely looped around the pup, twisting his fingers together as he grinds the toes of his right foot down into the carpeting, exactly in the spot that has repeatedly been abused through nearly every timeline.

Lucas takes a moment to mentally register what Jonathan is implying, and barks out a laugh once he does.

"You wanna be a brotherhood? I don't see why not, though of what? Just one word feels like a waste." While Lucas has a casual tone when responding, the shift in Jonathan's body language is drastic.

"REALLY!? You mean it!? You sure!? Oh, Oh! Oh... Huh, yeah I'm not sure either." Jonathan's burst of enthusiasm is brighter than the sun, but it then fizzles down to manageable levels as he realizes he has no ideas whatsoever for the later part of the name.

Lucas laughs again and reaches over to ruffle Jonathan's hair.

"We'll figure it out, having the start is already pretty good. Maybe something else further in the list will help us think of the rest? We can worry about finishing it over breakfast, so don't get down if we still don't have any ideas once we've gone over 'em all." As Lucas gives genuine, not tsundere for once, comfort, Jonathan's bright smile returns.

"Okay!" While Jonathan beams at him, Lucas is starting to wonder where his new sunglasses are.

-----

Lucas kills this chapter: 0

Lucas total kills: 6

Lucas deaths this chapter: 0

Lucas total deaths: 10

Lucas current GDV: 7.27 (+.01 net change)

Lucas's fame level: 2* (Mostly just local)

Lucas's hero suspicion level: 1* (Only highly paranoid people)

Jonathan kills this chapter: 0

Jonathan total kills: 4

Jonathan deaths this chapter: 0

Jonathan total deaths: 2

Jonathan current GDV: 1.72

Jonathan's fame level: 1.5* (Just local)

Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 1* (Only highly paranoid people)

-----

Little character theater:

Jonathan's sheer joy is at near-hazardous levels.

Lucas, shielding his eyes while wondering where this small sun, shaped like his sidekick, came from: How!? Did!? That!? Make!? You!? So!? Happy!?

The doggo is basking in the positivity, his tail wagging happily as he snuggles against the radiant jubilation which is Jonathan: Bark!

427 is amused by Lucas somehow managing to suffer when confronted with Jonathan's pure delight.

Author, waving both hands up and down in a calming gesture at Jonathan: Okay, that's enough of those exaggerations, you aren't a new light-source Jonathan, chill out a bit.

Mr. Quacks, infected by Jonathan's bliss: Quack!

(Weeks later edit: results were unanimous in favor of current pacing, the SoL tag was added, leaving this section in for posterity's sake)

The curtains fall on the theater, blocking out the alarming luminescence which represented Jonathan's elevated mood. After a few seconds filled with the sounds of a few intermittent giggles, the author elbows their way out from the gap in the curtains to walk to the edge of the stage, facing out towards the hopefully not-empty audience seating.

"Okay, seriously guys. I need to know. Should I embrace this pacing and just slap a slice of life tag on the novel? Or are you all just waiting it out till the action starts? Please, whatever you're comfortable with; comment on this paragraph, on the chapter, write a review, send me a DM, whatever. I just want to make sure you guys are happy." With a pleading tone, the author clasps their hands together before them and bows deeply.

Mr. Quacks, still needing the final word: QUACK!